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Activists, experts, leaders and educators have been telling us for years that if we stopped labeling each other, everything would change for the better. But as someone who hasn’t taken off his nametag in twenty years, my experience has been quite the opposite. Being labeled is the best thing that ever happened to me. It makes me feel seen in a deeply human and personal way. It means people…

Consider the teenage couple in the slasher film. In the middle of making out, they suddenly hear a sound downstairs and think, ah, it’s probably nothing. Now, where were we? But as the viewer knows, it’s not just the wind. It’s not all in their heads. That sound is definitely a homicidal maniac with a facemask and bloody machete. Cue the creepy soundtrack. Ki ki ki, ma ma ma….

Everything has two births. First as an idea, and then as the real and tangible output of that idea in the world. The gap between those two events is where creators get tripped up. With each step they take closer to the launch date, the stronger the resistance grows. Reminds me of a friend who has been working on a documentary for the past year. His new series sounds…

We now live in a world where we’re all trying to out special each other. This phenomenon called competitive individuality has become our favorite pastime. But there’s also something called the paradox of uniqueness. It’s the idea that we are all simultaneously special and not special. It’s all depends on the context. When we’re sitting across the desk from a hiring manager or prospective client, want that person to…

Neurosis is the blocking of forward momentum. It’s the anxious attempt to prevent life from happening. But what it points to, other than somebody’s need for a few antacid tablets, is a lack of authority over one’s life. Neurotic people need to recapture control of their own attention. Otherwise the paralysis of fear will ensue. Here are six words that perfectly depict this experience. “Oh my god, I can’t…

Consider what you are carrying that does not belong. Could you lighten your burden by tearing up the imaginary unpaid debt you think you owe people? Remember, carrying the world around on your back is profoundly heavy stuff. And having overdeveloped sense of responsibility is helping nobody. Your sanity and health are more important than pleasing whoever you think can’t survive without you. They will be fine. Let others…

In a world of increasing complexity, checklists are profoundly useful. They can be used for greater efficiency, consistency and safety. But more so in the micro than in the macro. Because when it comes to our hopes and dreams, checklists stop giving us motivation and start keeping us lonely. It becomes a conspiracy against our own growth. Like when we get obsessed about finding the perfect job or the…

When someone complains that all men are sociopathic skin hungry gorillas, or when someone whines that all women are irrational unpredictable nut jobs, two emotions run through my body. The first is frustration. Thinking to myself, wow, extremes in anything accomplish nothing. Rarely do we find the truth by saying that everybody is something. Besides, what does that thought get us? Sympathy from coworkers? Justification of our anger? Fact…

Loneliness isn’t cured by merely hearing others, but by feeling heard by others. Experiencing a real connection to people, but also believing that people feel connected to us too. Without that exchange, it’s more of a performance than a relationship. Vanderkolk writes that social support is not the same as merely being in the presence of others. We can still feel lonely in a room full of people. We can even…

Macho, obstinate workaholics who sacrifice their health, relationships and sanity so they can find some imaginary pot of gold at the end of the rainbow are not heroes. They should not be praised and exalted as true artists or masters of their craft. Deniro makes this mistake in the best scene of the best heist movie of all time. He says to the very officer trying to arrest him:…