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Most people are open minded to mystery and miracles in the abstract, but in reality, it’s a trait often perceived as a sign of weakness, foolishness or naiveté.  Bell’s book explores the bible literately, not literally. Which is the best way to approach any ancient scripture. In one particular chapter, he explores the dangerous emotional responses some people have to mystery.  When you reject all miraculous elements of all…

Are you aflame with longing to make your mark?  Try this. Move closer and closer to the edge of what scares you. Push yourself to the threshold of what is familiar and reliable. Raise your hand for tasks and projects that feel light years above your intellectual pay grade.  Don’t worry, the fact that you feel completely out of your league means you’re doing something that will make you…

If the greatest verb might well be earn, then the worst verb might well be deserve.  Because when we constantly keep count of what we feel we’re entitled to, it becomes our nature to always be demanding things as we wish them to be.  And then, when we find out that they’re not, heartbreak ensues. Gratitude evaporates. And we blame the world for not giving us what we want. …

There is nothing in this world that we can’t turn into heroin.  In fact, there are as many addictions as there are people to suffer from them.  But there is one characteristic all of these conditions have in common.  It’s not a sustainable piece of machinery for regulating our emotions. That’s how our brains work. Addiction is a habitual substitute satisfaction for an essential unmet need. It’s not about…

Henri’s book about the art spirit is an inspiration to any student of creativity.  Especially when it comes to the precarious process of receiving feedback on our work. The famous painter says it perfectly in the first chapter.  My opinions are presented as paintings hung on the wall, to be viewed at will and taken as rough sketches for what they are worth.  That’s the way each of us should approach…

It’s okay to stop when you’re happy.  If you have what you need to be complete with something, allow that to be enough for you and move on.  People who have a high emotional need for cognitive closure struggle with this. They insist on sticking things out until the bitter end. They might even feel guilty for leaving early.  Music is the perfect example. Just because you bought the…

Arendt’s celebrating and thought provoking book on the human condition reminds us that our capacity to forgive creates the ground for lasting relationships with others.  But to do so, it all depends on how much empathy we have. Only when we start imagining ourselves in another place, does forgiveness follow. Only when we experience people as real human beings with needs and desires and a unique point of view,…

Triggers are complicated, scary and powerful.  Whatever is at work in us seems to have its own set of batteries. Especially when it’s something out of the blue that activates our anxiety.  Like a few innocent words from a coworker, a random song on the radio, a person sitting next to you chewing their sandwich loudly, an animated pop up on a website, or walking into a restaurant you…

When does change become transformation?  When does transition become a revolution?  It all depends on our willingness to let go of who we used to be and lean into something different.  Because if we think it’s too late to make any meaningful life changes; if we’re still living like we’re in a previous season; or if we are in a new season of life, but are still trying to…

There’s a widely cited study in a social psychology journal about the benefits of positive illusions with close relationships.  Murray’s analysis proved that individuals were happier in their relationships when they idealized their partners and their partners idealized them. In fact, her research found that a certain degree of idealization or illusion may be a critical feature of satisfying dating and marital relationships.  Anyone who’s been coupled up for more than…