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When we find ourselves in the middle of circumstances that we didn’t want, didn’t ask for, or didn’t expect, our natural response is to scramble for clarity.  Especially when we have no context for these experiences that have left us so devastated.  We try and put everything that’s happening into a tidy little box that helps us understand the world a little better. Hunting down the one big prize…

In a world where there is no cosmic court system, we can drive ourselves crazy over fair.  Even if we go to great lengths to set the record straight and satisfy our sense of justice and seek out the soothing waves of vindication to wash over our weary hearts, there is no guarantee that the gavel will come down on our side.  Kudos to the vigilantes who take a…

Emmon’s book about the chemistry of joy tells us that denial is the default mechanism, the one that’s always available even when others fail. It’s like a fog always waiting to descend whenever we feel the need to obscure the painful reality before us.  And yet, as much as denial can help us avoid discomfort, let’s not be in denial about denial. It may feel comforting, but it’s not evolutionarily advantageous. It…

Lieberman’s research study about the pains and pleasures of social life indicated that social needs are managed using the same neural networks as used for primary survival needs such as food and water.  As such, threats to our sense of belonging can result in the equivalent experience as real physical pain.  And so, it’s not something we can just shake off. People can’t get over loneliness any more than…

Trying to understand, figure out and even fix our mood rarely helps anything.  There are very few situations when the analysis of our temperament relieves us of it. In fact, that typically makes things worse. Because what we focus on, expands.  Paranoia is the perfect example. When we grow suspicious of the powers that be, it’s tempting to begin engaging in worst case scenario thinking. Shacking up with doomsday possibilities….

Some people wear out their welcome in the marketplace.  They show up with guns blazing, make tons of noise and take center stage for a hot minute; but after a while, the world grows tired of seeing them and they ultimately fade away like a bad smell.  Strangely enough, some people do the exact opposite. Instead of wearing out their welcome, they waste it. They leave too soon. They…

Once we achieve initial success with our work, there’s a question in the back of our minds that starts to fester.  What if we could somehow tap into this on a worldwide scale? Building out the infrastructure, expanding to twelve cities worldwide, going global with our distribution, it’s quite the inspiring thought.  The problem is, it might not be our thought. It might be somebody else’s. That’s the thing…

In war, silence is employed to throw the enemy off balance.  It makes people suspicious, nervous and paranoid. Sentencing them to slave labor in the sweatshops of their neuroses.  Sounds like smart psychological warfare to me.  Strangely enough, we drop this bomb on ourselves all the time. When life gets too quiet, we grow suspicious. We badger ourselves about why the hell nothing is going on right now. And…

Put your house in order, because you are going to die, you will not recover.  This frequently quoted scripture is a morbid but powerful reminder that death that awaits us all, it’s the ultimate reality and loss of control, and we should prepare ourselves for it.  And not only physical death. Many times throughout life, each of us must contend with the death of who we have known ourselves…

Camus famously wrote that accepting the absurdity of everything around us is one step, a necessary experience, but it should not become a dead end. Rather, it should arouse a revolt that can become fruitful. One that can help us restore a relative meaning to existence.  It’s a deeply comforting thought.  Especially when it comes to our jobs. Because the modern world of work has a tendency fill the deep wells…