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If someone is doing something shitty to us, that’s not an attack, that’s an echo. When people behave angrily and disrespectfully, it’s not because they are crazy, it’s not because they are a machine with broken parts, it’s because they are a human being with unmet needs. Plain and simple. And while it is not our responsibility to meet those needs, it is our opportunity to be aware of…

My friend likes to joke with me that inside her head, she actually sounds organized. Meanwhile, the desktop of her computer looks like a field of golf balls at the driving range, and her inbox has thousands of unread messages from more than two years ago. This reinforces my theory that some people are disorganized because of ego. They believe the left brain path of organization is at odds…

Having managed multiple blogs for the last twenty years, one lesson the internet continues to teach me is how to set healthy boundaries. Because despite the dopamine rush that floods your brain when a new comment or email comes in from a reader, the truth is, you’re under no obligation to entertain anybody’s opinion. Especially if people insist on leaving impolite and ugly remarks, sticking a pin in every…

Ego boundary is a psychoanalytic term that refers to the emotional function of distinguishing between self and other. It’s that sacred combination of knowledge and trust. Not only knowing who we are, but feeling that it’s safe enough for us to be who we are, without the fear that the other is going to engulf us. Hartmann, the psychologist who coined the term in the early nineties, proposed that…

All we have is this moment and our attitude toward it. It’s too late to add anything to make it better. Despite our stubborn demands that life comply with our preconceived version of how it should be, whatever is happening right now, this is it. This is as good as it gets. One of the mantras that helps me practice this principle is the simple and gentle phrase, here…

Wearing a nametag is a small, simple and subtle thing. It’s easy to miss if you’re not paying attention. Which most people aren’t. Baristas almost never notice it, since most of them still ask for my name to write on the side of the cup. That always makes me chuckle. Not to be a jerk or anything, but my name is literally in front of your face. But that’s…

All human conflict has its root around the same question: What can’t you be more like me? But the irony is, that’s the last thing you would ever want. Because if everyone was like you, that would be a nightmare. Can you imagine if all the employees at your company started thinking and acting the same way as you did? You would quit your job by lunch. Or what…

In an increasingly fragmented world, we all try to build reliable identities for ourselves. It reinforces our sense of a stable self. It makes us feel special and in control. After all, who wouldn’t want their individuality celebrated rather than crushed? No wonder wearing a nametag every day is so much fun. But the interesting thing is, there are certain times when you’d rather not have any label. Because…

My yoga teacher used to remind us that the practice doesn’t get easier, we just get stronger. Her mantra has broad applications both on and off the mat. Because whether we’re breathing through the discomfort of camel pose, or breathing through the stress of daily life, one thing is for certain. It’s not like we get to some place where the suffering ends. We just get better at handling…

Let’s assume that the attachment to desire is the most dangerous generator of dissatisfaction and frustration. Then the quickest path to better mental health is the moderation our longings. The tricky part is putting ourselves out of the reach of the seductive powers that be which aim to hypnotize us. Because they are now attacking us from every angle. Even before we realize we have been attacked. Carlin famously…