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Forget yourself and submit to the other person. That’s the BIG challenge of listening. To check your ego. To relinquish you agendas. To suspend your preoccupation. Unfortunately, it’s dangerously easy for people to fall into the trap of Conversational Narcissism. Especially when they’re too busy. Too busy trying to contribute. Too busy trying to prove themselves. Too busy trying impose their own agenda. Too busy trying to take ownership…

What’s the secret to Growing Bigger Ears? THREE WORDS: Constant, visual reinforcement. So, here’s what you do. 1. Grab a few sticky notes and a Sharpie. 2. Start brainstorming a list of your biggest listening challenges, i.e., “Pause three seconds before answering a question,” or “Don’t ask ‘Why?’ ask, ‘What or How?’” 3. Summarize, symbolize and shorten those ideas into memorable soundbites. 4. Post them around your office, by…

1. Don’t accuse, inform. 2. Don’t exist, live. 3. Don’t hear, listen. 4. Don’t hype. Appear. 5. Don’t inform, form. 6. Don’t jump, pause. 7. Don’t listen, understand. 8. Don’t look, observe. 9. Don’t memorize, prepare. 10. Don’t perform, satisfy. 11. Don’t read, observe. 12. Don’t sell, solve. 13. Don’t solve, dissolve. 14. Don’t talk, do. 15. Don’t think, react. 16. Don’t think, reflect. 17. Don’t touch, feel. 18….

When faced with any task, endeavor or project, two questions need to be asked: 1. What needs to be done intentionally? 2. What do I hope will happen incidentally? First, let’s explore the word “intentional.” It comes from the Latin intendere, which means, “To direct one’s attention.” So, it’s the action you take first, along with the attitude you maintain while taking it. And, in many cases, that which…

So, you’re pretty smart. And you’ve said some pretty smart things. But you didn’t write them down, did you? Which means you don’t (regularly) quote yourself, do you? BIG mistake. LESSON LEARNED: If want other people to quote YOU, you need to quote yourself first. Because if you don’t quote yourself, nobody else will. Don’t worry. It doesn’t make you an egomaniac. It just means that, as a creative…

Inasmuch as positive thinking is a healthy, creative and productive approach to life, there IS something to be said about being the (occasional) Negative Nelly. Wow. That was REALLY cheesy. Negative Nelly. I sound like Ned Flanders. Whatever. Flanders rules. Anyway, Negative Thinking – despite its bad rap – CAN have positive attributes. When used and timed correctly. Because… Posing occasional questions underscored with doubt and skepticism is a…

One of the primary tasks of Growing Bigger Ears is to guide the conversation into focus. To help the speaker clarify what type of conversation she wants to have with you. You do this for three reasons: FIRST, clarify to … open up the space. People need to feel free and relaxed in your presence. So, by first negotiating the space between you, you make it safe to share….

NOTE: be sure to read part 1 and part 2 of this post series before continuing! – – – Welcome back! Today is our final post in the series about Building a Permission Asset. Just to recap: we’ve already learned about what a permission asset is, how to asset your current status and tools for building it. Now we’re going to talk about the two most difficult challenges: PATIENCE…

NOTE: be sure to read part 1 of this post before scrolling down! – – – OK guys, let’s continue our discussion on building a permission asset. Today we’re going to explore a list of 18 questions to help you assess the status of your current permission asset. (Don’t worry, you don’t have to answer them all right away!) But, some are yes/no, some are VERY penetrating, and some…

How many people are anticipating your marketing? Odds are, not many. And why should they? Most of your customers have been screwed over, sold on, marketed to, argued against, targeted, annoyed, persuaded, dishonored, pitched, pressured, bothered, interrupted, threatened and manipulated by too many companies too many times. And they’re tired of it. So, this means four things for your company: 1. Customers are in charge, not you. They don’t…