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Arendt’s groundbreaking tome on the human condition makes a powerful point about accountability.  She writes that promises made to oneself have no reliability, but when plural persons come together to bind themselves for the future, the covenants they create among themselves can throw islands of predictability into the ocean of uncertainty, creating a new kind of assurance and enabling them to exercise power collectively.  Imagine how many goodhearted commitments we make,…

Growth is about letting go of what no longer fits you.  Accepting that what got you here won’t get you where we need to be. And trusting that if you evolve beyond your old way of being, people won’t forget about you, and you might even be able to create a new context from which to relate to the world.  It’s like the comedian who makes a name for…

When you’re an optimist on such a deep level that it’s almost a subatomic condition to your personality, being around negative and cynical people can be very painful. And confusing and maddening.  You can only listen to someone eulogize their own negativity for so long before you feel like hurling yourself in front of a moving garbage truck.  Yes, there are many ways to resist the pull of this negative…

What if you have to abandon a dream you’ve already given so much of yourself to?  What if your dream ends up being more trouble than it’s worth?  What if your dream is suddenly over before it’s even started?  These scenarios are possible. Maybe even probable. And they will make you feel sad, unmotivated and tempted to beat yourself up.  But once you’re finished crying until you can’t breathe…

Nothing grows at the speed our anxiety would wish it to.  That’s the infuriating part about change. We can’t alter its rate. That would be like trying to speed up or slow down the current of a stream. No matter how good our intentions, no matter how sturdy our rocks, there’s nothing we can do to hurry the process.  Even if we build a dam, we still can’t make…

Here’s a terrific passage from an old yoga journal.  Intuition is the only reliable equipment we have for navigating in this flawed phenomenal universe of ours.  Which doesn’t mean it’s a perfect tool, but it’s certainly a knife that’s worth sharpening. To do so, all it requires is some intention and attention. Reading books, taking online courses and attending weekend seminars probably won’t hurt, but there’s no need to break…

The hardest and most demanding response to feedback is to say nothing.  To sit into the silence of empty space. To let what people say have an impact on us. Even if we don’t agree with it.  As my therapist used to say Let the pearl sink. Allow things to profoundly penetrate you.  It’s harder than it sounds. Sitting in silent acceptance of other people’s experience of our behavior?…

Many people don’t have the force of character to say no.  They are not practical about what their energies allow them to undertake. And they reflexively say yes to people’s requests without paying attention to the hesitation they feel within themselves.  In short, they participate silently in unacceptable situations.  Sound familiar? That was certainly me for many years. The lifelong journey of setting and maintaining personal boundaries hadn’t begun…

Here’s an interesting paradox.  One of the key ways human beings add meaning to our lives by entering into new relationships, commitments and obligations.  And yet, most of the stress we experience comes from poorly managed commitments.  How do we draw the line?  With intention. Take the example of a family vacation. An annual situation in which our normal, healthy routines are thrown out of whack by people who know…

Rand’s novel about the greatest architect in history makes a profound point about integrity. Not only in reference to the structures of buildings, but also the hearts of men.  Roark claimed that an honest building, like an honest man, had to be one piece and one faith; what constituted the life source. And if one small part committed treason to that idea, the thing or the creature was dead. The good,…