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A writer friend of mine once told me the reason why he stayed single for all these years.  Women are either in my work, or in my way.  It sounded like a poetic and noble mantra at the time. But ten years after the fact, it actually sounds more compulsive than courageous.  It’s something recovery literature helped me finally understand. Because for workaholics, anyone who gets in the way…

Fantasy is central to our lives and essential to our wellbeing.  When we let our imaginations soar in a way that serves, these fantasies can help charge and organize our lives for the better.  However, there’s a fine line between consciously imagining from a place of inner connection and joy, and using fantasy to avoid reality. When fantasy becomes a way of trying to escape life, to outfox it,…

One of the many practices group therapy has helped me master is how to check in with myself.  How to step back from the chaos of life for a moment, take a few deep breaths, ground my feet into the earth and ask a few fundamental questions.  Here are a few from my collection.  What sensations are happening in my body?  What feelings and emotions do I notice?  What…

Everyone knows someone who is the classic chaos magnet.  The kind of person who is either feeling a cold coming on, suffering from a cold, or getting over a cold.  And of course, in the unlikely event of a time without a crisis or drama, fear not, that will inevitably be followed by some new whirlwind that will attempt to suck you right in.  Are your shoes tied? Because…

All of my albums are recorded in a single day.  Played live during one continuous session. Which usually takes about eight or nine hours.  My sound engineer thinks I’m crazy, but there’s a method behind the madness.  First of all, it’s much cheaper. Most studios charge by the day.  Secondly, my impatient and imperfectionist nature won’t allow me to spend any more time than that.  Third, my need for…

Guarding ourselves against those who seek to manipulate and persuade us is a critical skill.  But learning to withstand the seductive whisperings from our own minds, good lord, that’s a whole different ballgame.  Because for many of us, our thoughts are constantly tumbling us around, anxiously and compulsively thrashing us about. And if we continue to buy into them, they can run us into the ground.  Fortunately, we can…

Does a seed betray other seeds when it grows into a flower?  It all depends on our mindset.  Years ago when I parted ways with a longtime company vendor, a colleague offered a notable piece of advice: Just because you have a history together doesn’t mean you have a future together.  Yes, people might interpret your desire to move on as betrayal. Yes, it may feel like betrayal to…

There’s nothing more valuable than unclaimed real estate.  If you want to make your mark, go through a door nobody’s ever gone through before. Be first in something.  Duplicity comes to mind. It’s surprisingly inspiring romantic comedy about former government operatives who are now collecting big paychecks from rival companies as corporate spies.  During the culminating scene, the company president gives a passionate speech that paints his company as the innovator…

Our fear is that taking on a new venture, hobby, business, side gig or passion project will dilute our mainline commitment.  But that only applies to people who have an unsophisticated sense of time and immature understanding of labor.  Because when done right, it’s all integrated. Everything works together to inform the entirety of our life.  Instead of borrowing from integrity to fund velocity, we trust that we have…

The world novelty signifies something with a transitory appeal.  A useless but amusing object, like a cheap toy, ornament or trinket.  Which is fine for a purchase at the dollar store, but what happens when someone uses the word novelty to describe you?  It can come off as dismissive, reductive and derogatory.  After all, nobody wants to be thought of as tacky or trivial. We want to be seen as useful,…