Blog
The call has to come from inside the house
Every one of us possesses an unquantifiable component of human value. There is no algorithm and there is no scoreboard. Simply being alive is proof enough. It’s a choice we can make every day. Instead of desperately treating approval as a scarce commodity, we can stand firm in our own worthiness. Instead of living through our false persona to gain love from strangers, we can remove uncertainty about our…
Disqualifying has officially become our national pastime
People put their romantic projections on everything from relationships to careers to life in general. Now that we live in a world of infinite choice, if we don’t get exactly what we want every time, we peace out and move on. But this romanticism is not based on any kind of reality. Romanticism may be superb for idealizing what we think things should be, but it sucks at taking…
No strings attached except the ones you choose to tie
Koontz makes the point in his spooky bestselling novel that trees are so majestic, so noble. They give and give to us, fruit, nuts, beauty, shade, lumber, oxygen, and take nothing in return. What a lovely example of nature’s generosity. Because trees don’t keep score, save for the rings in their trunks. They don’t get all cagey and chintzy when people seek their gifts. Abundance flows freely in all directions….
Playing the game to wait out the world
Nothing is more powerful than our willingness to be misunderstood for long periods of time. It’s that rare combination of patience and faith. If we’re willing to follow our inner guide, even if we look like an idiot and risk alienating those who don’t get the joke yet, it’s amazing what kind of magic we can ultimately create. At my first few agency jobs, getting executive and team buy…
Why does this always happen to me?
Psychologists tell us that transcendence is a form of attention control. It’s the capacity to see and think beyond the immediate stimuli. And it doesn’t necessarily mean ignoring the immediate present, so much as seeing it in the context of more substantial concerns. One way to accomplish this is to depersonalize. Like when a stranger says or does something that has a deeply negative impact on us. We remind ourselves that…
Relying on anyone other than me sounds like a terrible idea
Being strong and independent is useful. But extremes in anything accomplish nothing. When we carry our individuality too far, when we isolate and try to do everything alone all the time, it’s not only a terrible punishment we inflict on ourselves, but it’s also a slap in the face to the people who care about us. Satisfying as it may be to say to ourselves, wow, relying on anyone…
Must. Not. Stop. Seeing. How. High. You. Can. Fly.
When you’re an overly ambitious workaholic for whom career has become the only interest in your life, simple pleasures can seem tasteless. When your entire identity is focused on traveling around the world pushing the envelope of achievement, coming home can make you feel like a visitor in your own town. When there is an aching hole inside of you that even the most obsessive interest in work cannot…
Your inability to set limits on their control
How many people are able to successfully divert your time? The answer to this question is quite indicative of the strength of your boundaries. Because although everyone has people they answer to, whether it’s family, bosses, coworkers, or even the occasional loan shark, ultimately, your time is your own. You are the only person who truly values it. And depending on your discretionary use of that time, it’s either…
Is this moment just right, or is it going to kill me?
Some of us are neglecting to live the life that we have because we’re overly focused on the life we yearn for. We simply want things to be other than they are. And not that there is an inherent problem with wanting anything. The question is, at what point does our desire to attain hurt our ability to connect? Louie once made a beautiful distinction during an interview about jealousy, telling…
As a human being, not just a human resource
Our goal is to seek efficiency with things and not with people. So it’s important that we give each other full acknowledgement of the whole person, not just our roles. That means being brave enough to interact and connect with people holistically, actually engaging their full self, and not just the small part of the self that the company finds useful and important. My friend who runs an advertising…
