Blog
Steer you toward your best self
We don’t need that many people to believe in us. Even the smallest shred of encouragement or validation can create a burst of momentum that fuels us for months, years, or even an entire lifetime. Hell, my whole career hinged upon a conversation with a stranger on a bus. One random guy believed in my idea of wearing a nametag every day, told his journalist wife to do a…
Doling out a finite amount of prosperity
Abundance is less about materiality and more about mindset. It means that we believe that the future will be better than we think. It means that we trust that each year will be marked by new and enriching challenges and opportunities. And it means that we will remain hopeful and optimistic despite obstacles, setbacks or even outright failure. But this mindset cannot coexist with cynicism and negativity. If you’re…
Misery loves company, happiness creates isolation
There are some people who have chosen to let negative feelings occupy much of their hearts. They appear to have an endless supply of reasons why each of their successes is really a failure. It seems that not even a whisper of positive emotion is flowing through their veins. Have you met this person? And the thing is, their attitude is not some freak accident. It’s powerful choice within…
Filled with hope, fled out to afflict mankind
Optimists are the way we are because of several factors. An inherited gene, a nurtured skill and a conscious choice. The first factor is biological. Psychology professors reported that based on the variation of our brain’s oxytocin receptor, optimists have more positive responses to stress and greater esteem throughout their lives. We can blame our parents for that one. Genes may not be destiny, but if our folks are…
Being of service to those who inhabit our lands
Our job as as employees is to create marketing campaigns for each other. To be responsive to the requests of team members by honoring what they would like, as opposed to what we think they need. In a world where marketing has degenerated into consumer trickery, not to mention a world where meaning is made, not found, the idea of actually being of service to the people who inhabit…
The ripple of unintended effects on our psyche
Solitary confinement is considered the worst possible punishment in maximum security prisons. Multiple psychiatry journals have proven that getting thrown in the hole can cause an array of mental disorders, as well as provoke an already existing mental disorder in a prisoner, causing more trauma and symptoms than criminals would have experienced in general population. In short, people would rather hang out with rapists, drug dealers and murderers than…
Making compassionate room in ourselves
If someone is doing something shitty to us, that’s not an attack, that’s an echo. When people behave angrily and disrespectfully, it’s not because they are crazy, it’s not because they are a machine with broken parts, it’s because they are a human being with unmet needs. Plain and simple. And while it is not our responsibility to meet those needs, it is our opportunity to be aware of…
People are afraid they will lose their edge
My friend likes to joke with me that inside her head, she actually sounds organized. Meanwhile, the desktop of her computer looks like a field of golf balls at the driving range, and her inbox has thousands of unread messages from more than two years ago. This reinforces my theory that some people are disorganized because of ego. They believe the left brain path of organization is at odds…
Their fire is their business
Having managed multiple blogs for the last twenty years, one lesson the internet continues to teach me is how to set healthy boundaries. Because despite the dopamine rush that floods your brain when a new comment or email comes in from a reader, the truth is, you’re under no obligation to entertain anybody’s opinion. Especially if people insist on leaving impolite and ugly remarks, sticking a pin in every…
Loosening and crumbling away with unthinking haste
Ego boundary is a psychoanalytic term that refers to the emotional function of distinguishing between self and other. It’s that sacred combination of knowledge and trust. Not only knowing who we are, but feeling that it’s safe enough for us to be who we are, without the fear that the other is going to engulf us. Hartmann, the psychologist who coined the term in the early nineties, proposed that…