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Do you get lost in fantasies of future events? Are you constantly longing for something better to happen next? You’re not alone. This is a profoundly human trait. We just love avoiding the depth and joy of life right now. And one of the chief ways we do this is by thinking ahead. Trying to extend our certainties further into the future than this present moment. Which can be…

During a particularly depressing low point in my unemployment, riding the subway was dangerous for me. Not because of the poor air quality, germs on the seats, disease carrying rodents, slippery platform edges or potential assault and battery from mentally disturbed passengers, but because of my fellow commuters going to work. That’s what sent my brain into a spiral of unkindness. Some regular guy would be sitting across from…

Here’s a common fear when switching careers. What if you have become so conditioned that you won’t be able to function anywhere else? It kind of makes you wonder if you’ll be able to thrive in your new working environment. My biggest fear of transitioning from entrepreneurship to the corporate world was similar. What if spending the first ten years of my career working alone in my living room…

Ellis’s research on irrational thoughts warns us to beware of the following assumption: Perfect solutions exist for every problem and we must find them immediately. His theory was that if we wait for perfect solutions, we often will miss the whole trip. And doing so will only lead to stagnation and frustration. Have you ever gone down that mental road before? Twisting your guts into knots with this false…

Some companies are not real companies. For a variety of reasons. Maybe the company is a total scam and has legitimately shady business practices. Maybe the company is operating with no profit because it’s just a play toy for some trust fund kids. Maybe the company is just a creepy guy who owns a truck and sends random people to your home. Maybe the company doesn’t sell anything, but…

If we’re a bit screwed, then we are not going to simply unscrew ourselves on our own. Healing is a team sport. We may have operated as islands in our past, and that might have even been successful. But now that we’ve committed to living differently, the future needs to be one of connection. Even if that only means reaching out to one other trustworthy person, that’s enough. The…

When your company is making money and business is good and enough of the team is happy, it’s hard to make change a priority. Because why fold a winning hand? Why shake things up when they already work enough to be successful? Companies are like people in that respect. If they don’t see a compelling reason to step outside of their comfort zone, they won’t just do it for…

My coworker once told me that she feared people’s judgment anytime she left the office before six. And so, she started coming in earlier and staying until seven or eight. Every night. First one in, last one out. This dedication earned her a nice promotion, but her routine was not sustainable. People started casting sidelong glances at her for burning the midnight oil. Because in our modern work culture,…

There are no good or bad feelings, on healthy and unhealthy ways of expressing them. And if channeled in a meaningful way, every emotion can be of service. Dayton coined the term emotional sobriety, which means being in charge of our own inner world and able to experience deep feelings, understand them and talk about them rather than act them out in destructive ways. In the spirit of that…

Workaholism isn’t exhausting because we’re working all the time. It’s exhausting because we’re running around playing defense all the time. Medicating ourselves with all these tasks and projects as a way to stave off feelings of loneliness, insecurity, sadness, whatever. Protecting our auras, guarding our egos, armoring our hearts. Facing only inwardly. That’s defense. It’s definitely comfortable and secure. And the upside to operating in this mode all the…