Mysteriously falling into the same situation repeatedly

There’s a classic scene from an old cop movie where the detective discovers that his wife is having an affair with his best friend and business partner.

Trying to make excuses for his behavior, the cheater uses that tired old movie trope:

It just happened.

The detective replies.

It just happened? Sure, it just happened. It could happen to anybody. It was an accident. You tripped and fell and accidentally had sex with my wife.

This scene always made me laugh as a kid, but as an adult, it kind of makes me sad.

Because many people live their lives that way. With no responsibility. Everything just happens to them. They’re not masterful creators, but victims of overwhelming circumstances with no inclination to create their own change initiatives.

And the worst part is, they want the rest of us to agree with them so they can feel justified in their victimized state.

Now, nobody is saying the world isn’t a hard and complicated where things go wrong. We’re all human and none of us is exempt from the ordinary misery of existence.

But the only way to move from a state of victimization to a state of power is to get very honest with ourselves. Here is an inventory of questions to help you. Whatever circumstances are most pressing in your life right now, use each one to cut to the core of the problem and move towards a solution:

*Are you really mysteriously falling into the same situation repeatedly, or is this a just pattern you’re choosing over and over?

*Are you actually a victim of circumstance, or are you a victim of your own actions?

*Was this another case of one thing leading to another, or could you have nipped this problem in the bud with greater proactivity?

*Were you hopeless entrapped by your environment, or did you fail to make positive change for yourself early on?

*Were you honestly scarred irrevocably, or is that just a convenient excuse not to change, grow and mature?

As you might have noticed, they’re all the same question written in different ways.

Are you afraid to admit that you’re the author of your own misery?


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