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When we are young, the problem is not only that we want everything, but that we assume it’s ours. For the asking, for the taking, and yes, for free.  This attitude locks us into the cycle of hurt. Our expectation leads to controlling behavior, which causes disappointment, which builds resentment, which restarts the process all over again.  And it persists until we are sharply awakened to a simple but scary…

It’s not hard to be right.  All we have to do is never ever back down, even when we are in the wrong, cling to our vain hopes in the face of overwhelming contrary evidence, and then, when anyone even remotely challenges our position, double down and scare them away with our declarative verve.  Checkmate.  The problem with this approach is, you might be right, but then you will…

Arendt, one of the most original and fruitful minds of the twentieth century, thought of essays as trials or experiments in the activity of thinking.  She believed that the practice of turning briefly to a consideration of thought, the activity of thinking, would be of unquestioned relevance to our own future.  Interestingly enough, the word essay literally translates to means, an attempt. It’s an experiment. The seeking of experience for its…

Carlin once said that he didn’t have pet peeves, he had major psychotic fucking hatreds.  Who among us cannot relate to that?  Everyone has two or three gnawing little things that can bother us beyond all proportion. Things that make our patience wear thinner than a pole dancer’s thong.  And it’s okay. These infuriating moments are part of the package of being human. In fact, it’s actually quite cathartic…

There is no proudest moment. There is no biggest disappointment.  When we start grabbing onto something that happened, and then comparing everything else we do to that, we’re in trouble.  Because it becomes another thing to cling to. We grip onto the past too tightly, tumbling down the egocentric trap of comparison, dwelling on the story of days past, freezing ourselves in the way we used to be.  Meanwhile,…

For those of us who are not used to getting praise, our immediate response to being seen is: Wait a minute, what’s your angle? What’s in this for you?  We are untrusting and terrified to receive people’s love. Because history has proven time and time again that an insignia of misery that has been stamped upon our life, and some fucking jack in the box is right around the…

It’s easy to get discouraged when we’re getting rejection after rejection after rejection.  In fact, many of us are prone to interpreting those rejections as negative judgments about our character, abilities and value. Falling down the rabbit hole of useless rumination. Gathering evidence of our own inadequacy and spiraling into another paralyzing state of shame and depression.  This is a perfect example of the ego taking us hostage. Stealing…

Organic growth is a blessing and a curse.  On one hand, customers know and like and trust your brand, sales are coming in, and there is no need burn all your cash on marketing activities. Sing praise to the gods of commerce.  But nothing grows forever. Except maybe ears and noses.  Facial cartilage notwithstanding, gravity always triumphs. It’s undefeated. Everything plateaus eventually.  And therein lies the curse of organic…

Arendt wrote that each of us stands our ground between the clashing waves of past and future.  This is a contentious cusp in which we find ourselves. Because if everywhere we go, we drag our past behind us like a turd on a stick, then we never take the chilling but necessary next step into the future.  That’s the whole problem with the past. There’s just so damn much…

In the moment, it’s tempting to dwell on our shortcomings and mistakes.  To allow the gaggle of hungry ghosts to taunt us with memories of our failures.  But when it comes to our complete body of work, meaning, everything we create, contribute, affect and impact in our lifetime, it’s important that we take the long view. Because even if certain individual efforts appear to have less value than others,…