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There’s a simple acid test to determine what kind of attitude a potential job candidate has. When the shit hits the fan, do they focus on what they can to do improve their situation, or do they find more excuses to justify their problems? Optimists will typically choose what’s behind door number one. They will reveal a resourceful, abundant, forward thinking and life giving approach with their circumstances. And…

Is the reason you began doing this still valid and as important today? Weiss asks this in his book about life balance. It’s a simple and candid question that honors the inevitable changes human beings undergo in life. Challenging us not to hold ourselves hostage to accreted detritus solely out of our sense of obligation or a need for consistency. And so, the sign that we’re always on the…

We have a tendency to make things harder on ourselves than is necessary. Mostly through the vehicle of pessimism. Instead of interpreting our troubles as transient, controllable and specific to one situation, we tell ourselves the story that our suffering is our fault and will certainly last forever. Seligman’s research on learned optimism found this story to be the key differentiator between those who flourish and those whose flail….

Is that worth shredding ourselves into pieces with ruminating bouts of merciless scrutiny? Of course not.

James tells us in the scriptures: We are merely a vapor like a puff of smoke a wisp of steam from a cooking pot, which is visible for a little while and then vanishes into thin air.    As such, why squander what time we do have being miserable? Life is about optimizing for joy, not climbing a ladder.    Our goal is to take full advantage of, rearrange…

If you’re not even around when people discuss your legacy, then what’s all the fuss about?  Perhaps it’s time to call legacy for what it really is. Yet another denial of death.    People torture themselves day after day trying to create notch after notch in their precious little legacy belt, because they’re afraid of not being remembered when they’re gone. It’s the specter of insignificance. Our complete inability…

Rubin’s book about being happier at home clarifies a crucial distinction between two personalities. Both have different answers to the following question.  How do you deal with managing a strong temptation?    Her research found that for some people, occasional indulgence heightens their pleasure and strengthens their resolve. They get panicky and rebellious at the thought of never getting or doing something. These people are called moderators.    But…

Carlin used to do this classic comedy bit about converting to a solar religion.    Sun worship is fairly simple. There are no crucifixions, and we’re not setting people on fire simply because they don’t agree with us. There’s no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don’t have a special building where we all gather once a…

Kidman, in her stellar performance in the award winning racing movie, makes the following speech to her driver and then husband.  I’m going to let you in on a secret that most other people know. Control is an illusion. Nobody knows what’s going to happen next. Not on a freeway, and certainly not on a racetrack with other infantile egomaniacs. Nobody controls anything. You’ve had a glimpse of that,…

Our feelings are not right or wrong, good or evil, positive or negative, legal or illegal.  They simply are.  There is need to rank and judge them, or even beat ourselves up for having them. Just because a rush of furious anger, unexpected morbidity or unexplainable joy runs through our veins, doesn’t mean the feelings police are going to bang down the door drag us to the station.  And…