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My definition of listening is, “Loving someone with your ears.” This brings to mind a common scripture quoted at many wedding ceremonies: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the…

NOTE: Be sure to read part one of this series first! And now, to continue our discussion on how to answer a question… 6. Reverse the question. This counterintuitive answer is unexpected, and therefore captures people’s attention. For example, if you were asked, “What do you want your life to look like in five years?” you could catch people off guard by answering: “A more important question is: ‘What…

In the beginning of your career, you have to sort of go overboard on the self-promotion. Sticking yourself out there to the 100th power, if you will. (Guilty.) But I’ve realized that over time, as your success legitimizes and your reputation achieves a sense of wholeness, you don’t have to really do or say as much anymore. You care less and worry less. You’re beyond needing to impress people….

How often do you spy on yourself? You know, to see how you’re doing. Checkin’ yourself out. Observing various situations and experiences behind that internal pane of two-way glass, taking furious notes. It’s becoming kind of a hobby of mine. But it’s not easy. Part of this process comes from your ability to detach, disassociate and sort of “get out of yourself” for a while, looking inward at your…

During my time at Miami University, I was a Marketing Major. The first piece of advice I remember from my professor, Mrs. Young was: “In Marketing, the answer to every question is always ‘Well, that depends…’” The class got a good chuckle out that one. Amazingly, more than ten years later, that idea still holds true. Not just in marketing, but in ANY question/answer situation: Between you and your…

My favorite Japanese saying is: No aru taka wa tsume o kakusu. “The strong falcon hides its claws.” LESSON LEARNED: Overt demonstrations of strength suggest insecurity. As Lao Tzu explains in The Tao De Ching: “When you show your strength, you appear weak … when you conceal your power, the more effectively it can be used … when you make your advantage less obvious, the more effective you power…

The term “unique” comes from the Latin word, unicus, which means “the only one.” Your marketing challenge is to finish the sentence, “We’re the only company that…” or “You’ll never meet another person who…” or “I’m the only person in the world who…” If you can do that, you’re truly unique. If you CAN’T do that, it doesn’t mean you’re NOT unique; but rather that you haven’t pinpointed your…

That means not being so quick to prove people wrong. That means not immediately jumping to offer your insight. That means not (always) raising your hand first. That means not (always) sharing your opinion on everything. That means not (always) having THEE answer for everything. That also means not pouncing on every pause in the conversation to insert all your clever little jokes and brilliant insights. Let go of…

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So, I have this buddy named Spike Jones. Pretty smart dude. And in April when we were having lunch a few hours before my workshop, we got talking about the topic of identity. “Well, what about you, Scott?” he asked. “What’s under YOUR fingernails?” A chill ran down my spine. Wow. What a question. What a thought. I’ll never forget the feeling of allowing those four words to profoundly…