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The cynics believe that optimism is merely tricking yourself into feeling happy. But what’s so wrong with that? When did we decide that using the placebo effect on ourselves was a bad thing? Just as honesty isn’t always the best policy with others, it’s not always the best policy with ourselves. The story we’re telling about our situation might be an illusion, but it’s a helpful illusion, and it’s…

During a recent interview on a mental health show, the guest psychologist made a comment that resonated with me: Anxiety is a liar that predicts doom. And it makes a great case for why everything is about to go to hell and crumble before our eyes. But it’s simply not true. What each person needs, the doctor suggested, is a good in house lawyer. Some archetype of our logical…

The key to habit change is cognitive acclimation. Whatever new thing you start doing, your brain needs to get used to the fact that this particular habit makes it feel good, and that you like doing that activity. Here’s a case study from my own life. Core strength has always been my weakness, and it’s caused me some moderate back problems since college. But after suffering an inguinal hernia…

Because of our brain’s negativity bias, where we give more psychological weight to bad experiences than good ones, it’s easy to fall into an inward cycle of gloom over outward error. Even the smallest gaff can compel us to start beating ourselves up for doing something wrong. Like when we can’t get to sleep one night, so we toss and turn for hours, getting increasingly pissed at our body…

The more we can simplify and lighten our lives, the better. There’s no reason to make things any harder than they already are. In the otherwise oppressive and absurd circus known as human life, we do ourselves a great service when we unclench our fists and actually enjoy the ride. But just as our effort to make everything lighter is a form of enlightenment, our insistence on things being…

Why do we think we have to pressure ourselves like this? Why do we think more is always better? Because we have been brainwashed by a consumer culture that sold us wrong values, that’s why. Governments, religions, businesses, media companies, corporate behemoths, they all have a hidden agenda to keep humanity small, scared, stupid and dreamless. It’s simply not in their best interest. A population capable of critical thinking?…

The key to giving feedback is empathy. When somebody trusts us enough to ask for our input on something, we can’t simply jump right in and start correcting their spelling errors and ripping apart their design. We should begin with the acknowledgment that they’re taking a risk. Since they’re being vulnerable, opening their work to criticism, the opportunity to even give feedback in the first place is a privilege….

Schwartz’s groundbreaking study on the personality differences of satisficers versus maximizers proved that just as happiness may be a matter of choice, choice may also be a matter of happiness. How, and more importantly whether, we make choices influences, whether we are happy or not. For example, do you have that colleague or family member who is excessively thorough? Someone who makes you feel worse off as the options…

Some people are defined by what they hate rather than what they like. They are creatures who gain power, status, authority and applause by putting things down. Believing that anyone who expresses joy is either deluded, misinformed or just plain stupid. The problem with this approach to interpersonal relations is, negativity has an extremely short lived half life. It’s easier and more satisfying in the moment to connect with…

There is no single generation or that has a monopoly on entitlement. Exaggerated feelings of deservingness and superiority are fair game for anyone. It’s human nature. We all get greedy from time to time. Grubs conducted the premier study on the topic. He defines entitlement as an unrealistic, unmerited or inappropriate expectation of favorable living conditions and favorable treatment at the hands of others. His research demonstrated that if…