Help me help you help me

Depression is like an over eager party guest.

It doesn’t need an invitation. Sometimes it just shows up. Even if we’ve done tons of inner work to keep meaninglessness at bay, it can never be entirely ruled out.

Because the pilot light inside the human brain needs only the smallest spark to ignite.

If those two metaphors weren’t enough for you, here’s another one from my favorite comedian.

Carlin once said, just because you got the monkey off your back doesn’t mean the circus has left town.

However we describe it, this existential pickle invites us to uphold several responsibilities to ourselves. First, to plan for failure in advance. Knowing that the noonday demon can strike unannounced, we carve out time when we’re in a calm state to create our own emergency recovery plan. Even if it’s a short playlist of our favorite songs or a list of affirmations that will soothe our troubled mind. Having a plan equips us to execute when the pressure is on.

That actually gives me an idea for a new app. Have you ever suffered from depression in silence because you were to paralyzed to ask for help from the people who matter most? Now you can use my private text messaging service that sends a bat signal to a small group of trusted confidants, alerting them of your need for someone to talk to in a time of need.

Securebase is an app will help you regulate your emotions with other people instead of addictions. Help me help you help me.

Not a bad emergency plan.

The next responsibility in regards to our existential pickle is forgiveness. This is way harder, as it requires us to meet our bleak mental state with love and acceptance. And so, if we suddenly feel the need to sleep for thirteen hours one night, then lay in bed for another five hours the next day, then we give that gift to ourselves. We allow our brain and body to get their needs met, we forgive them both for being what they are, and we express gratitude for the opportunity to soothe ourselves in a healthy, effective way.

Another responsibility is letting go of our compulsive need to fix, overcome, explain or understand every pain, every time. Because that information isn’t always available to us. Even if it was, it’s not going to be the thing that sets us free.

What’s more, our attempts to lessen every mental struggle can become a source of anguish in and of itself. And so, rather than making an island of every psychological confusion and trying to solve its pain, we trust the flow of our life. We have faith that we’ll get there when whenever we get there.

And we remind ourselves that all feelings are weather patterns that have a beginning, middle and an end.

These are our responsibilities to ourselves. Next time our eager party guest shows up unannounced, we’ll be ready. 

When your brain starts telling you that you’re no good, your world is bleak and your future is hopeless, how will you respond?


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Author. Speaker. Strategist. Songwriter. Filmmaker. Inventor. Gameshow Host. World Record Holder. I also wear a nametag 24-7. Even to bed.
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