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All customers are control freaks.  It’s a basic human tendency. People operate out of a model to feel autonomous and in control of their environment and actions.  And so, anything service providers can do to reinforce people’s sense of control over the direction of the customer experience, is helpful. I recently conducted a weeklong staff training program with about three hundred hotel employees. Interestingly, in each of our sessions,…

There’s a difference between being selfless, and doing something because you’ll feel like a bad person if you don’t do it.  One is a form of giving from a place of abundance, the other is a form of draining yourself because you’re afraid of not bending over backwards for others.  It’s textbook people pleasing behavior. We so badly want to feel loved and needed and accepted, that we allow…

Labels are fables.  Attempt something beyond the perimeter of your own constituted identity. Seek total exhaustion from tasks that are outside of your traditional skill set.  Because even when you’re out of your depth, odds are, you’ll rise to the occasion and get the job done. And you might even learn something in the process. You’ll surprise yourself just how capable you really are. And the satisfaction of knowing…

Once you announce, even to yourself, that you seek something, you create tension.  Because at that point, you’re in two places at the same time. Both where you are, and where you want to be. Part of your brain is in the future, and part of your brain is here now. And that discrepancy contains the energy that enables you to create.  It’s the power of cognitive dissonance. The brain is…

LHM, one my longtime clients is a hospitality management company. They run a chain of seventeen hotels spread all around the city, all of which require their employees to wear nametags, of course. But the best part about their uniform policy is, none of the nametags indicate job titles. Or positions. Or rank within the organization. Just names. And maybe a fun fact or a favorite food or a…

My recurring nightmare is that I’m making a presentation in front of hundreds of people, but I realize that the slide deck I’m using is the wrong one. And I have no idea what picture is going to come on the screen next.  Gulp.  Just thinking about that moment makes me feel helpless and incompetent and unprofessional and completely out of control of my environment and myself. Scary.  But what’s…

When you’re practicing yoga in a hundred degree room with forty percent humidity for ninety minutes straight, the natural inclination is to medicate your suffering with water. Because it’s cold and refreshing and hydrating and satisfying.  But as my teacher loves to remind his students,water is your second lifeline, breathing is your first.  Think about it. When a person experiences a health emergency, the first thing the paramedics provide is…

There’s nothing more painful than being open beyond our preconceptions and historical ways of making sense.  Accepting that there might be something to learn outside our own experience.  In fact, that’s the engine of all human conflict. Each of us is unconsciously asking ourselves, why can’t everybody else be more like me?  But the reality is, life is much more complicated than our limited imagination. And if we’re left to…

When I conduct employee training programs for hotel chains, we spend a good hour telling stories about unforgettable guest experiences.  It’s not only interesting, insightful and entertaining, but it’s a powerful teaching tool. It makes people feel heard and less alone in their hospitality journey.  One hotel concierge recently shared a story that nearly made the entire room tear up.  A guest’s toddler had lost her teddy bear en…

Boundary setting tools don’t have to make sense. Or appear logical. Or even be cost effective.  They just have to work for you. They have to allow you feel okay with yourself and create meaning in accordance with your values.  I have a friend who stays in a hotel every time she goes home to visit her family for the holidays. Which seems redundant and expensive and possibly even…