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The secret to developing healthy habits is changing your surroundings, not yourself.  Building in external accountabilities that knock out the excuses of doing something on your own.  Starting a blog is a perfect example. Doing so takes an activity or hobby or interest that matters to you, say, creating gluten free recipes for a restrictive diet, and translates it into a sense of obligation.  Because even if your readership…

Baumeister pioneered the concept of negativity bias, which refers to the notion that, even when of equal intensity, things of a more negative nature have a greater effect on our psychological state than do neutral or positive things.  In his groundbreaking study, his team found that the innate predisposition of the psyche was to focus on bad, not good. It’s evolutionarily adaptive. Organisms that are better attuned to bad…

Cook’s groundbreaking book on the curves of life explains:  The spiral is always growing, yet never covering the same ground. It’s not merely an explanation of the past, but it’s also a prophecy of the future. And while it defines and illuminates what has already happened, it is also leading constantly to new discoveries.  That’s the beauty of the spiral. It’s an open ended curve. It gives the sensation of continuous…

When we avoid the unknown regions of ourselves, carefully staying within our known range of confidence, chronically concerned with remaining the way we are, we’re condemned to live in the boxes that we make for ourselves.  And it will never occur to us to take any actions beyond that.  But if we have any intention of forging new frontiers of originality, we are obliged to venture outside of the…

Success doesn’t have a line.  There’s no democracy, there’s no rational system of advancement and there’s no standard set of rules that determines when it’s our time to shine.  That’s why it can be so infuriating to watch somebody else having their moment. We see their dream getting more attention than ours, and we feel diminished. Like our chances for success are being all used up. Like our work…

Anybody can meditate in the mountains.  Reaching enlightenment while the world around you is serene and inspiring and clean isn’t much of a challenge. The real test of inner peace is whether you can transform yourself into a force of calm in a time of turmoil. Whether you can attain mental stillness and physical relaxation in the face of impending chaos or, worse yet, overwhelming monotony.  I recently spent…

Cosby was famous for telling his comedian protégés, accept what comes from silence. Make the best you can of it. Silence is the sign of the professional.  It’s true on stage, and it’s true in life. Music is the space between the notes.  And yet, few of us have been trained to appreciate empty spaces, silence, formlessness and voids. It’s too uncomfortable for us. We hate silence because our anxieties…

Einstein’s theory of relativity transformed theoretical physics and astronomy during the twentieth century.  And although the science behind can seem complex and overwhelming, he famously explained it with a simple metaphor: Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour; sit with your beloved for an hour, and it seems like a minute.  That’s relativity. It’s actually an encouraging approach to living….

Handy made a brilliant observation in his memoir on arranging the portfolio of the entrepreneur’s work life. He said, small bits of prostitution may be necessary.  Which sounds provocative and uncomfortable to some. But don’t be so suburban.  Prostitution, after all, is the world’s oldest profession. Have some respect. In fact, the leading etymology dictionary states that the notion of sex for hire is not actually inherent in the…

It’s tempting to start heaping blame on yourself for past transgressions.  Looking back at failed relationships and wondering how in the world you could have been so naïve and blind and foolish. Shaking your head in disbelief at your own behavior.  But all of that is just a form of cutting. Beating yourself up with the shame stick. Borrowing suffering from your past and letting it destroy today. Making…