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Sleep hygienists have clinically proven that waking up to an alarm clock promotes unhealthy sleep habits.  Ideally, we should learn our circadian rhythms, control our natural cycle, wake up to the light of the morning and honor our master clock, known as the suprachiasmatic nucleus, which is located in the hypothalamus of the brain.  Of course, let’s not overlook the emotional component to waking up without assistance. Because doing…

Harvard’s most famous positive psychology professor writes that our culture reinforces the delusional state of chasing the ever elusive future.  That’s why people are not compensated for enjoying the journey itself, but for the successful completion of one. Because society rewards results and arrivals, not processes and journeys.  And the problem is, once people arrive at their destination and attain their goal, they mistake the relief that they feel for happiness. …

The paradox of happiness is, once you start looking for it, you leave it.  Once you start measuring it, you miss it.  And so, the solution, instead of squandering your energies trying to gauge how happy you are, or, worse yet, constantly reminding yourself of all the things you’re not happy about, start taking action in the direction of your values.  Do whatever you have to do to flood yourself with…

Much of life is learning to make the best of a bad situation.  Finding ways to appraise our condition positively, taking charge of our thoughts and refusing to stop until we come out on the other side with something meaningful.  In short, controlling our minds before our minds control us.  Cooperider first operationalized this process on an organizational level, dubbing it appreciative inquiry. It’s an intervention program to help corporate…

Coltrane’s band was famous for playing the same songs in the second set as they played in the first one, just to see if they could find something they didn’t find earlier in the evening.  They always did. They never stepped in the same musical river twice. That’s the beauty of jazz. If you do it right, redundancy becomes a mathematical impossibility.  What’s interesting is, the same rule can…

Bell’s book on the spiritual dimensions of romance reminds us that love is the giving away of power. The giving up of control in the relationship.  He suggests that there is no intimacy without vulnerability and transparency. And that to make our sacred partnerships thrive in the long term, they require a constant surrendering of all the desires within us to manipulate and change and fix the other person.  I spent several…

Here’s our standard approach to seeking happiness.  We project all of our hopes and dreams onto some object of our attention. We reach for the consolation of a momentary distraction. And we attach ourselves to what we think we simply must have in order to be happy.  Then and only then, will we finally obtain the love and peace and approval that we need to feel compete.  Of course, that never…

Soteria is an interesting word with many meanings/ Greek mythology represents it as the name of the goddess of salvation, deliverance, and preservation from harm.  But the word can also be used to describe a human being’s high, irrational joys. Those moments that electrify our hearts with ecstasy and exuberance.  And so, the word suggests that we can rescue ourselves through our own delights. We can use joy as a…

Emerson once said that nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.  Which is true, but the tricky question is, what happens when that type of energy isn’t welcome by the people around you? What happens when you show up on the first day with wide eyes and bright smiles and a big plate of homemade cookies, and your efforts are met with shrugs?  That’s the unspoken challenge of enthusiasm….

The most important relationships in our lives are with the people who afford us a chance to express our deepest selves.  People who celebrate the fullness of who we are and what path we’re on. People who forgive us for no longer being what we started out wanting to be. People who commend us for outgrowing our origins and changing direction proudly. People who don’t remind us how we…