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If companies want to create atmospheres where customers can feel like complete human beings, people need to be welcomed, not merely tolerated.  Because there’s nothing more demoralizing than being treated like an inconvenient interruption. As if the person’s presence was interfering with the receptionist’s ability to do their job.  And yet, it happens every day. Employees treat customers like objects.  They get annoyed with our inability to telepathically mind…

Sometimes you do everything right, and it’s still not enough.  It’s goddamn maddening. Like you can’t win no matter how hard you try. And it makes you want to punch people through the phone.  What’s fascinating, though, is if you push through the frustration, liberation awaits on the other side. Because once you realize that control is an illusion, once you accept that the outcome of most situations isn’t…

Each of us are raised with labels and terminology and a system for interpreting the world.  And that’s a good thing. Labels have a profound utilitarian purpose. They make it faster to classify and understand what’s going on around us. They create mental shortcuts that give us a handle by which to hold people.  Which is certainly a lot easier than the messy discomfort that often arises out of…

Hangtime is a cultural term that refers to how long something stays in the air before hitting the ground, from the point guard dunking the ball, to the pigskin sailing toward the end zone, to a stunt car flying off a ramp.  But from cognitive perspective, hangtime is also an helpful metaphor for conceptualizing resiliency. Because in the face of life’s inevitable jabs and blows, our goal is to…

The creative process is a lifelong exercise in surrender.  As artists, we accept that we do not have magical control over the world. We bow to the universe as a chaotic and mysterious place that isn’t obligated to make us productive and pay for our dreams.  We consent that humanity isn’t mature enough to control the important things. And we embrace the fact that the only thing we have…

There’s a phenomenon in the dating world called ghosting, in which someone that you believe cares about you, disappears from contact without any explanation at all.  It makes you feel disrespected, disposable and disappointed.  The lack of closure is maddening and unsatisfying.  And the most insidious part is, you not only question the validity of the relationship you had, it you question yourself.  This experience, however, isn’t limited to…

Fire this fearful longing Put a little iron in your core Hang your whole weight upon me And scoot fear out the door We got greatness by choice We got gravity by chance A good man tries to be worse And fool god with his plans Another angel on duty A magic lamp awaits your caress This reservoir of truth and beauty And love for all the rest This…

Moore’s brilliant research on the soul’s religion reminds us that dream work doesn’t necessarily have to help us uncover the clues to the meaning of our personality.  It can simply be a daily practice that keeps us in touch with the basic narratives we are living. A portal to transcendence and wonder that helps us get to know our soul better, increase our participation in the greater universe and…

Each of us seeks the pride of having lived up to our expectations for ourselves.  It’s what allows us to feel strong and human and alive.  But there’s a fine line between ambition and ammunition. There’s a danger in following our dreams so intensely that we forget to enjoy life.  And so, if you realize that your standards are high beyond reach or reason, that the demands you place…

Skynner’s bestselling book on family and marital therapy defines a control freak as: A perfectionist defending themselves against their own inner vulnerabilities in the belief that if they are not in total control, they risk exposing themselves once more to childhood angst. They often manipulate and pressure others to change, in order to avoid having to change themselves.  It’s a difficult personality to be around. When person is willing to…