Blog

Yoruba tribesmen have a saying that as one approaches an elder’s status, once ceases to indulge in battles.  And not just because of their physical incapacity to run and hunt and fight and kill, but also because of their spiritual understanding that most battles are just a poison cocktail of ego, vanity and needless suffering.  That’s the fallacy of the human mind. Deliberately cling to our own suffering, we…

When confronted with a new task or project or challenge, our default response to find a way to make it a story about how we’ve never done this before.  How we’re not qualified or experienced or smart enough to execute.  But that’s a copout. An excuse not to face something big and scary and different.  The reality is, we’re always more prepared than we think we are. Everything we…

Rumi said that is not our task to seek love, but to seek and find all the barriers within ourselves that we have built against it.  The path is reverse engineered. That which we seek is discovered, rather than created, through a process of elimination.  For example, if we take all of the shameful and noxious parts of ourselves and stuff them in a bag and decide that they’re…

Maisel’s book on navigating the world with an artist’s personality was pivotal in jolting me out of my illusion of isolation.  He writes how the creatives often feel they have a special, vital role to play in society:  From a considered vantage point outside of society, we observe and witness and judge. After all, we’re creatives. And part of the job description is maintaining a certain stance as an outsider, rebel…

I heard an interview with a rehab counselor who made a fascinating point about generosity.  The physician said that real giving is noticing something in someone else, and then paying homage to that. Holding a loving mirror up to their gifts and saying, wait, can’t you see how valuable this is?  He suggested that next time we have the chance to really sit down and connect with someone, we…

Hoffman’s obituary was one of the most beautiful pieces of writing I’ve ever read.  The author painted a picture of what it was like to interact with the legendary actor.  Phil had a smile that told you he believed in you, though failure was possible, sometimes inevitable and okay. When he looked you in the eye, what you were seeing became secondary to the overwhelming force of how you were being…

Naiveté can absolutely be a loving companion.  But there’s a fine line between trusting the universe and blindly believing that everything will work out just fine.  The former creates hope, but the latter can enable acquiescence. And if we allow ourselves to slip into that state, we won’t generate the necessary motivation to apply ourselves toward making things better.  We won’t move the way things are any closer to…

People overestimate the capacity of human memory.  They ascribe far more meaning and drama to the fleeting little moments that happen between people, when the reality is, most of the world isn’t losing sleep over most of the things that happen to them.  But it’s not our fault. Just blame it television.  For over fifty years, our culture has watched hundreds of thousands of hours of sitcoms that portray…

Turkle’s book on the psychology of human relationships with technology reminds us that just because technology can help us solve a problem, doesn’t mean it was a problem in the first place.  And yet, we’re still being urged from every side to become more efficient. We are drowning in a glut of tools, kneeling at the altar of productivity, imprisoning ourselves in an endless loop of technology, and ultimately burdening…

I have a constitutional need to rebel and resist and be different and stand out and express my authentic self in every situation.  It’s who I am, it’s who I’ve always been.  But the irony is, no matter what I’m rebelling against, that thing is still controlling me. I’m still in relationship with an entity that has power over my behavior. No matter how bold and independent and oppositional…