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Is the glass half empty or half full?  That’s the existential litmus test to determine somebody’s worldview. We ask this question to determine how people perceive events and objects, either optimistically or pessimistically.  But the answer isn’t quite as straightforward as it sounds. Whether we see the glass as half empty or half full has nothing to do with the water and everything to do with our expectations.  There’s a…

Marriage wasn’t built for intimacy, it was built for real estate.  Ancient societies needed a secure environment and a system of rules to handle the granting of property rights and the perpetuation of bloodlines.  And so, couples tied the knot out of social and economic stability, not necessarily love and desire.  It’s so romantic.  Of course, that was hundreds and even thousands of years ago. Modern couples now have…

Schomburg, the famous writer and historian, described his creative moment of conception in the most beautiful way.  A novel had announced itself. It was coming to town. Posters were plastered on every wall in my cerebellum, a vacant lot in that vicinity had been reserved.  That moment is the most intoxicating part about making things. When you know in your heart that something wants to be born, and you…

Shackleton’s famous advertisement ran in the newspaper to try to recruit men for his polar expedition.  Here’s what the message said, nearly one hundred years ago.  Men wanted for hazardous journey. Low wages, bitter cold, long hours of complete darkness. Safe return doubtful. Honor and recognition in event of success.  Does that sound antiquated, bizarre and over dramatic?  It’s actually not.  Shackleton practically described the entire career path of…

Each of us needs a sanctuary where we can forget who we are.  A quiet retreat that can help us do the private healing we need. A personal island of renewal that we can turn to for serenity and strength.  Without making space for these nourishing moments in each day or week or month, we can easily become overshadowed by the demands of survival.  I was lucky enough to…

We are artists.  And here’s what that means.  We are always working on something, even if it isn’t ready yet. We are driven by an ecstatic urgency to give rise to that which is new. We feel a deep yearning inside to make our vision happen. We want to make things forever, but not the exact same way forever.  We have ideas floating around like some weather system inside…

Here’s the best advice nobody ever gave me.  Learn not to panic over simple misfortune. Know that one trying incident doesn’t have to ruin the whole day. Don’t assume that an obstacle in one area means a setback everywhere. Trust that your ultimate contentment doesn’t depend on having things work out your way.  Never allow the mean part of your brain to turn every little problem into a catastrophe. Practice living with all…

Each of us clings to a dopey little identity that gives us some kind of certainty.  It’s one of the many things that separate us from the animal kingdom.  But the joke’s on us. Because it’s just a concept. A costume that we put it on or take it off whenever we want.  I remember reading this passage from a fascinating book about sex addiction recovery that said it best.  Identity…

Codependence sells, but we don’t have to buy.  With the help of a simple seven word sentence, we stand up for our boundaries proactively and prolifically.  Instead of slavishly catering to anyone who will notice us, we simply say, excuse me, I need to leave now.  Instead of feeling guilty unless we say yes to everything that everyone expects of us, we simply say, excuse me, I need to…

There are few rituals as physically satisfying, spiritually cleansing and emotionally liberating as getting rid of a bunch of stuff.  It’s pure catharsis. There’s simply nothing better than purging from your life piles and bags and stacks of things that are old and broken and gross and useless and frankly, unnecessary.  And what’s interesting is, as the objects are excised, so are the emotions attached to them.  Like the things…