The needier we are, the more we set ourselves up for rejection

Because of my codependent, workaholic, love addicted personality, I’ve always had the tendency to do this:

Fall in love very easily and too quickly, smother people within an inch of their lives, and then chase after the ones who reject me and try desperately to change their minds. 

It’s that earnest but unhealthy and overwhelming form of passion that involves persistence at all costs, where the relationship controls me rather than the other way around. 

And because I’m far too needy to be capable of denying my own unrealistic expectations, that experience ultimately destroys me. 

But the lesson life seems to be teaching me over and over again is: 

People may not be rejecting us, they may simply be unable to give what we are asking.

It’s not personal. It’s not an attack. It’s just a rejection, not reflection of our inherent value as human beings. 

That’s a more mature understanding of relationships. That’s how we face reality with maturity. 

And it’s a lot less exhausting than the torments of unrequited love. 


When you are attracted to someone or something, will you ignore all the warning signs that it’s not healthy for you?

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.

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Author. Speaker. Strategist. Songwriter. Filmmaker. Inventor. Gameshow Host. World Record Holder. I also wear a nametag 24-7. Even to bed.
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