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Vandik’s enlightening book about calming the emotional storm was written specifically for people who find it difficult to understand, express, and process intense emotions.  One of the key insights the cognitive behavioral therapist shares is what the actual definition of what an emotion is.  An emotion is a full system response that includes physiological reactions, which are changes in body chemistry and body language, thoughts, which are triggering images…

One of the great unexpected advantages of being the world’s foremost expert on nametags is that complete strangers not only start conversations with you, but also send you bizarre gifts in the mail.  Apparently there’s an entire cottage industry of nametag related paraphernalia. After eighteen years, my office is now collaged with these fine items.  Cups, belts, shirts, pens, coasters, cocktail napkins, buttons, onesies, full body costumes, ties, business…

Imagine you just got fired after working somewhere for a year.  Boss says your performance simply wasn’t cutting it, and she simply has to let you go.  It totally sucks. You feel angry and rejected and helpless. As you perfectly should.  But in a few weeks after those feelings fade away like the weather system they are, you have an opportunity to recognize that for every failure, there are…

In the cinematic world of screenplays and protagonists and hero’s journeys, rule number one is as follows.  Each scene must bring in something that advances the narrative, adds new threads to plot and propels the character forward. Otherwise the story isn’t worth telling.  Strangely enough, career journeys work in a similar fashion. Because your body of work, everything you create and contribute and affect and impact, is not unlike…

Plants have fascinating methods for moving their seeds.  Wind dispersal is my personal favorite. Because it’s rooted in acceptance and faith and surrender.  The seeds are released and blown about and land in all different kinds of places. And to help their chances of landing in a place suitable for growth, plants have to produce lots and lots of them.  But there’s no guarantee. All the plants can do…

Every time I give a presentation to a group of businesspeople, somebody inevitably asks me how many books have been sold.  And of course, I have no idea. Inventory management isn’t my thing.  Besides, since so many thousands of copies have been given away, stolen and downloaded over the past sixteen years, it’s literally impossible to quantify.  But that’s not my concern. I am in the business of making…

Boredom is a beautiful thing.  It’s a necessary part of balance that keeps our brains sharp and keeps our souls hungry.  But when our days are filled with too much formlessness, too many empty spaces and thundering silences and social voids and three day stretches where we don’t even use our mouths and interact with other human beings, that’s a recipe for sadness.  Schumer’s memoir on her journey as…

Thanks to our brain’s inherent negativity bias, it’s easier to notice what makes something suck than to see what makes it great.  But that brief exposure to what we don’t want to can create a powerful energy source that can be channeled into positive executional directions.  That’s why occasionally listening to shit music and reading bad books and seeing dreadful plays is a useful endeavor. In the moment it…

When the housekeeper knocks on the hotel room door, and we politely decline turn down service, that’s setting a boundary.  It’s a minor moment, but it’s representative of a macro issue.  Not taking responsibility for other people’s emotions. Overcoming the terror of potentially disappointing others and looking selfish in the process.  And so, even if there is a pang in the pit of our stomachs because we think we’ve offended the…

Ethel’s groundbreaking psychiatry research argues that human fantasy should be understood as one of our major modes of adaptation. That the culture shouldn’t make us pay a terrible price for the things we imagine.  After all, at the heart of every fantasy is a germ of frustration and, therefore, a desire for change. And so, the force of fantasy can transmute our visions into personal healing and even world changing actualities. …