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Joy isn’t the goal, but the experience we create for ourselves on the way to the goal.  But most of us invert that process. We obsess over the imagined details of some future event, at which point we will finally feel happy and complete and whole. Only then do we deserve joy.  This carrot on a stick approach can be highly motivating for some. The only problem is, it’s a pattern…

People are highly motivated by finding out that it’s not their fault.  We love looking for something external to blame for everything that’s wrong in our lives.  My mid to late twenties was a period of my life symptomized by bloating, abdominal pains and host of other gastrointestinal delights.  But of course, these issues had nothing to do with the fact that I was a workaholic codependent love addict trapped in…

Imagine taking a road trip with five people, each of whom is giving you conflicting directions as to how best to get to the destination.  One guy paid for the gas, so he feels entitled to have the last word.  One lady thinks she’s a great driver just because she has a license.  One guy comes from a town that only used bicycles for transportation.  One lady is a…

Here’s the hard part about being a blacksmith.  You have to find a delicate balance of having enough irons in the fire to keep you busy, but not so many irons that you become overwhelmed and inefficient.  With too few irons, for example, the blacksmith has to wait around until things heat up. And it becomes difficult to stay constantly busy. Plus, he’s vulnerable to a single point of…

Ethel’s book on the redefinition of power makes an important point about letting go.  It’s a mark of security when we are so comfortable in our own skin that there is no nagging doubt about the road not taken, the opportunities missed and the shortness of the road remaining.  Sounds like a peaceful place to be.  The challenge is, how do normal people, who aren’t monks, attain that level…

Out of the five thousand species of mammals on this planet, only humans have the luxury to doubt things in the universe.  Isn’t that incredible? What an extraordinary gift we’ve been given. The ability to scrutinize ourselves and our societies and our surroundings.  Because contrary to popular conditioning, doubt isn’t a snag, it’s a spark. Doubt is a starting point for deeper thinking. It’s an elixir that keeps us…

Colbert tells an inspiring story about his late show mentor.  The grizzled old producer told the new host to start taping two episodes on the last day of the workweek. And then, the way he executed that second show could become the way he did the show every night. Because at that point, he’d be so tired that he wouldn’t have time to worry about making the right choices.  Every one of us must…

Chodron’s book on compassionate living reminds us that the people we encounter everyday activate the karma that we haven’t worked out yet.  They mirror us and give us the chance to befriend all of that ancient stuff that we carry around like a backpack full of granite boulders.  It’s another one of the many risks of intimacy. People in our lives trigger our unresolved shit. Even complete strangers.  We’re…

After being shut down so many times, you just stop trying.  You start feeling like a waste of space. Like you want to hammer a hole in the floor and fall right through it. And the inner monologue is: Wow, if this is what it feels like to give my best, why would I continue? Why am I even here?  It’s a really shitty feeling, struggling to believe that…

The artist’s statement is equally as inspiring as the artist’s sculpture.  This micro manifesto, this conscious declaration of creative intentions, this vital link of communication between the artist and the rest of the world, that’s what touches me.  Not the thing, but the thinking behind it.  Rozoff, for example, is a novelist who writes what he calls escapist literature. James says that his books aren’t the kind that help you…