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My dad once told me that reason you don’t sweat the small stuff in is not because it’s all small stuff, but because the longer you’re around, the more big stuff there is, and you need to conserve your energy.  It’s a sobering reminder that the way we talk about big stuff is as important as the stuff itself. Because issues like sexuality, money, politics, faith, addiction, death, fear,…

For those of us who are extroverts, artists, expressers, showmen and entertainers, breaking free of the constant pressure to perform can be difficult.  Because in many cases, our love and need for the stage is attached to a number of profound fears. Reflecting on my own personality and experience as a performer, here are a few that come to mind. See if any apply to you.  We fear that if…

One of my guilty pleasures is watching excuse theater.  It’s when people get super creative with and highly energized by their justifications for not doing things.  Like when they deliver a bullet point list of the unforeseen circumstances outside of their control that caused them to miss the deadline. Or when they dig deep into their robust repertoire of qualified rejections in response to your simple, direct invitation. Or…

Somewhere around my eight book, I had a humbling but profound realization.  Most people will never, ever hear about this product. The few who do, won’t read it. The few who read it, won’t notice its flaws. The few who do, won’t care. The few who do care, won’t say anything. And the few who do say something, are probably assholes.  So why am I killing myself?  The final…

The phrase, to come into your own, means to reach a stage of development or maturity where you achieve strength and confidence and social acceptance.  It’s when people finally recognize you as independent and capable, usually after much effort and time.  Notice the last part. After much effort and time.  Meaning, for those who wish to speed up the maturing process, you’re out of luck. Because you cannot rush…

The good news about most decisions is, they don’t have to be made perfectly.  Nor do they have to be made exhaustively.  Here’s why.  First of all, every truly important decision has a risk element. There’s no avoiding that. Think about it. How many of the decisions you make each day have absolutely correct answers? May as well just pull the trigger. Trust that the right decision is the…

Audiences love hinge movies. Those romantic and serendipitous stories where the protagonist’s entire fate is determined by whether or not she catches a certain train or meets a handsome stranger in the hallway.  You can almost hear the movie trailer voice over.  In a world where one small choice affects the trajectory of her entire career, one woman learns the true meaning of Christmas from an unexpected train of…

For us rebels, it’s in our blood to resist being what others expect us to be.  We don’t like taking what’s given to us. We react independently just to show that we won’t be ruled. We instinctively subvert obligations we find silly and boring. And we choose to do things as an expression of our identity and freedom.  It’s a tough way to live, but a damn good way…

Chronic anxiety can feel like you’re stuck in a swamp.  If you try to raise one leg out of the mud, the other one only sinks deeper. It’s like you’re stressing out trying to relax.  And that’s the beauty of medication. It puts you on dry land. It doesn’t solve your problem; it simply gives you a higher bottom from which to begin your healing process.  I will never…

Brooks wrote a brilliant book on the deeper values that should inform our lives.  His research found that a person of character is someone who has achieved a settled philosophy about fundamental things. They possess an impressive inner cohesion. Instead of leading fragmented, scattershot lives, they are integrated and grounded.  What he forgot to mention is, when you make yourself moral, when you become a person of great character, you isolate…