Large enough to survive our losses

Does a seed betray other seeds when it grows into a flower? 

It all depends on our mindset. 

Years ago when I parted ways with a longtime company vendor, a colleague offered a notable piece of advice:

Just because you have a history together doesn’t mean you have a future together. 

Yes, people might interpret your desire to move on as betrayal. Yes, it may feel like betrayal to live without them. And that’s okay. We must give ourselves the dignity of grieving our losses. 

Prechtel put it best his poignant book on loss. 

If we do not grieve what we miss, we are not praising what we love. 

Eventually, though, we do have to put a halt to the cycle of guilt. And we have to own this painful process as life. 

If you’re struggling with the grief and loss of fading friendships, here are a few things to keep in mind. 

You can make a conscious effort to change and let go of relationships as you grow, or you can hang out with the exact same group of people from ten years ago. 

You can lovingly sever relationships that you have outgrown or no longer serve you, or you can trap yourself in a cycle of resentment and inauthenticity. 

You can remember your old friends without feeling guilty about moving on, or you can beat yourself up about transitioning into a new season of life. 

You can setup betrayals in order to pay off your guilt, or you can form new relationships that are equally as strong as the bonds you have to break with your traveling companions of the past. 

You’ll be okay. And so will they. 

Trust that you are both large enough to survive your losses. 


Why does trying to extricate yourself from the clutches of a completed relationship feel like a betrayal of life’s natural order?* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.

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Author. Speaker. Strategist. Songwriter. Filmmaker. Inventor. Gameshow Host. World Record Holder. I also wear a nametag 24-7. Even to bed.
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