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Our level of happiness depends on how we act upon or repress our instinctual needs.  If we grew up in a hyper religious and puritanical tradition that was profoundly suspicious of pleasure, it’s quite possible that we will not respect the basic needs of our body and spirit. We will not honor our fundamental human longing for joy.  Because that would be a sin. Only heathens indulge in the…

When we actively lobby for our interests with people who can help our career, we have to be open to support that arrives in a form we’re not crazy about.  We have to allow people to help us in their own way and accept their help as it is offered. Otherwise we block the flow of good into our lives.  If our second cousin introduces to a former coworker who…

Our deepest fear is rooted within the universal human need for contribution.  It’s our existential longing. We can’t fathom leaving this world without making our mark, doing something significant, creating some kind of value and mattering in some way.  We want to be worth the air we’re taking up. Otherwise, what’s the point of even being here? How, then, are we supposed to operate at our highest point of…

There are some people can’t follow directions, and there are some people who can’t function without them.  My personality belongs in the first camp. My rebellious and independent nature doesn’t need to be told what to do and works best traveling without a map.  I would rather life be experienced than explained, and don’t feel the need to predict behavior to gain a sense of security. I love the…

Most people are open minded to mystery and miracles in the abstract, but in reality, it’s a trait often perceived as a sign of weakness, foolishness or naiveté.  Bell’s book explores the bible literately, not literally. Which is the best way to approach any ancient scripture. In one particular chapter, he explores the dangerous emotional responses some people have to mystery.  When you reject all miraculous elements of all…

Are you aflame with longing to make your mark?  Try this. Move closer and closer to the edge of what scares you. Push yourself to the threshold of what is familiar and reliable. Raise your hand for tasks and projects that feel light years above your intellectual pay grade.  Don’t worry, the fact that you feel completely out of your league means you’re doing something that will make you…

If the greatest verb might well be earn, then the worst verb might well be deserve.  Because when we constantly keep count of what we feel we’re entitled to, it becomes our nature to always be demanding things as we wish them to be.  And then, when we find out that they’re not, heartbreak ensues. Gratitude evaporates. And we blame the world for not giving us what we want. …

There is nothing in this world that we can’t turn into heroin.  In fact, there are as many addictions as there are people to suffer from them.  But there is one characteristic all of these conditions have in common.  It’s not a sustainable piece of machinery for regulating our emotions. That’s how our brains work. Addiction is a habitual substitute satisfaction for an essential unmet need. It’s not about…

Henri’s book about the art spirit is an inspiration to any student of creativity.  Especially when it comes to the precarious process of receiving feedback on our work. The famous painter says it perfectly in the first chapter.  My opinions are presented as paintings hung on the wall, to be viewed at will and taken as rough sketches for what they are worth.  That’s the way each of us should approach…

It’s okay to stop when you’re happy.  If you have what you need to be complete with something, allow that to be enough for you and move on.  People who have a high emotional need for cognitive closure struggle with this. They insist on sticking things out until the bitter end. They might even feel guilty for leaving early.  Music is the perfect example. Just because you bought the…