How to Make a Name for Yourself – Even if You Make a Fool of Yourself

1. Advance confidently in the direction of your dreams. Progressing towards anything else – graceful as you may look doing so – is a total waste of time, money and energy. Either relentlessly pursue the visions that possess you or go home. What continually deflects you from your certainty of purpose?

2. Ambition always looks good on you. Plus, it vortexes people in. It inspires and challenges people to think about their own ambition. Which fills them with the fuel of passion to guide their actions. What outer skin are you wearing?

3. Arise with firm determination. Build your life in a way that makes you hate sleeping. Not because you’re workaholic. Not because you’re an insomniac. But because the passion flows out of your body so abundantly that you couldn’t use an alarm clock if you wanted to. As U.S Anderson said in his obscure book, The Magic in your Mind, “Worlds are never conquered by men who lie abed, only by those who are out in the world and doing.” Why do you get out of bed every day?

4. Be not self-satisfied with past glory. Don’t allow the arrogance of past success prevent you from learning, growing or soaring. As my friend David Newman says, “Stop measuring all situations by your glorious past rather than looking for new opportunities and the possibilities of the future.” Remember: The past isn’t just over – it’s overrated. What have you done TODAY?

5. Be scary good. There’s a good goal for ya. To be so good at what you do that people watch with breathless interested and jaws agape, thinking to themselves, “Dude, it is SCARY how good this guy is.” So, not scary in a bad way. Scary because they’d hate to be up against you. Scary because they wonder if you’re actually an alien. And scary because they KNOW you’re going to blow everyone else out of the water. What level of good are you?

6. Become the person you most admire. Wouldn’t that rock? If you could look up to yourself? If you could inspire yourself? I think so. And I don’t mean that in a self-absorbed, egomaniacal, Steven Colbert kind of way. Just a deep love for yourself and a deep desire to become yourself. Whom do you admire?

7. Decide what security looks like to you. In the aforementioned The Magic in Your Mind, U.S. Anderson also said, “The only real security a man can have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience and ability.” Remember: Fickleness is a fact of life. How are you restocking YOUR reserve?

8. Don’t believe the dreams they pump you full of, and you won’t get hurt. That was the advice from Atlas Shrugged. And I agree. Part of making a name for yourself is deciding whom to listen to. Refusing to become limited by the thoughts others have tried to set in motion for you. Ignoring the would-be deflectors of your one true dream. Personally amputate anyone who doesn’t believe in or support your personal vision. Whose life are you living, really?

9. Failure IS an option – not learning from that failure isn’t. After all, we learn not from our experience, but from intelligent reflection upon those experiences. So, the secret is creating a system for learning and growing from everything. The secret is accepting influence from everybody you encounter. And te secret is enabling value to be added to yourself by anything, anytime, anywhere. Failed at anything today yet?

10. Find a way to insert your entire self into it. Whatever “it” is. Your job. Your role. Your assignment. You phone calls. You conversations. Your presentations. Whatever. The secret is bringing more of yourself to everything. The secret is asking the question, “What would I do in this situation?” Which reminds me of what my mentor once said, “The more that it is YOU, the easier it will be to do.” How much of YOU are you putting into this moment?

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Are you willing to make a name for yourself even if you make a fool of yourself?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “19 Way to be the ONE Person Everybody Remembers at the Conference,” send an email to me, and you win the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

Who’s quoting YOU?

Check out Scott’s Online Quotation Database for a bite-sized education on branding success!

www.stuffscottsaid.com.


What Everybody Ought to Know about Power

“Knowledge is power.”

I agree.

But that’s not all. Many other things are power too:

1. Action is power. Because most people TALK instead of DO. Which one do you do?

2. Awareness is power. Because it’s the first step toward mastery. What are you afraid to acknowledge the existence of?

3. Branding is power. Because if you don’t make a name for yourself, someone will make one for you. Who’s making a name for you?

4. Brevity is power. Because people are busy. Keeping it short enough?

5. Content is power. Because it delivers unique value and solidifies your expertise. Do your tweets leave the impression of value or vanity?

6. Creativity is power. Because every time you use it, it grows stronger. How many ideas did you have today?

7. Credibility is power. Because while it might take years to assemble; it only takes seconds to annihilate. What is your credibility strengthening process?

8. Decision is power. Because the only thing in the world you (actually) have control over are your choices. Are you living at full choice in your life right now?

9. Discipline is power. Because talent is overrated, whereas hard, long, smart work is all that really counts. What time did you get up today?

10. Expectation is power. Because it not only affects the future, it affects the past. How many affirmations did you recite today?

11. Experience is power. Because that’s where expertise truly comes from: Experience + Intelligent reflection upon those experiences + Actionable lessons extracted from those experiences. What new experience did you have today?

12. Fanship is power. Because customers are overrated, clients are useless and prospects are for amateurs – you need FANS. How many fans do you have?

13. Honesty is power. Because in out fear-based, low trust culture, honesty is so rare that it’s become remarkable. How many lies did you tell this week?

14. Humanity is power. Because in our robotic, impersonal culture, humanity is (also) so rare that it’s become remarkable. How are you fully integrating your humanity into your profession?

15. Immediacy is power. Because in our hyperspeed, A.D.D., instant gratification culture, people want it fast and they want it NOW. Do you return emails faster than your competitors?

16. Listening is power. Because contrary to popular conditioning, the listener controls the conversation. When was the last time somebody complimented your listening skills?

17. Name is power. Because Shakespeare was wrong – “what’s in a name” means EVERYTHING. What do people think when they see your name?

18. Networking is power. Because people buy people first, and it’s not who you know – it’s who knows you. How many friends did you make last week?

19. Permission is power. Because once people can come up to, feel relaxed around, open up with, comfortable walk away from and confidently return to you, everything changed. Who do you need to give permission to?

20. Platform is power. Because brands can’t exist without a diverse foundation of value-driven content, web presence, public visibility and thought leadership. How powerful is your platform?

21. Positioning is power. Because it’s not who you are, it’s what you’re known for knowing, what you’ve been recognized as being the first and best at, and ultimately what you’re perceived to be the heavyweight champion of. What makes you That Guy?

22. Vulnerability is power. Because it gives other people permission to feel the same, which creates a safe containers in which you can share your truth. How vulnerable are you willing to be?

23. Wisdom is power. Because knowledge is overrated – only wisdom (which comes from action) earns you the right to speak with authority. How much action have you taken this week?

24. Writing is power. Because writing is the basis of all wealth, AND, writing makes everything you do better and easier. What did you write today?

Knowledge isn’t enough.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How powerful are you?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “7 Ways to Radically Raise Receptivity of Those You Serve,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

Never the same speech twice.
Always about approachability.

Watch The Nametag Guy in action here!

Do You Recognize These Five Early Warning Signs of an Unapproachable Leader?

FACT #1: The only judgment your people can (honestly) make about you is how interacting with you makes them FEEL.

FACT #2: If you’re not perceived and remembered as being approachable by the people you serve – I guarantee your organization WILL suffer.

As such, there’s a myriad of impending dangers of inapproachability. We’ll be exploring each of them in this three-part series, along with a collection of practical strategies to circumvent those dangers.

Each post will address one of the following categories:

PART 1: How people feel about approaching you.
PART 2: How people feel while interacting with you.
PART 3: How people feel walking away from you.

Today, let’s talk about how people feel about approaching the unapproachable

1. People will plan ways to avoid you. Which, ironically, takes more time and energy than to actually talk to you. But that’s how we’re wired: Anthropologically, the more conflict that might occur = the more we avoid that encounter.

Even if it requires more work. Anything to avoid conflict. How many people went out of their way to avoid you yesterday?

STRATEGY: For one week, say hello to every single person that crosses your path. It’s harder than you think.

2. People will shrink from opportunities to be open. If you’re the kind of person who takes offense to everything, here’s what happens: People will start tiptoeing around you, trying their hardest not to get caught in your vortex of hypersensitivity.

Then, they purposely leave out key points just to avoid pushing your hot buttons. And all that does is leave you in the dark on where they stand. How many employee problems are you currently unaware of because your emotional reactivity silences people?

STRATEGY: Grow thicker skin. Instead of reacting; trying breathing. That’s
response. A choice. And it’s much more effective. If there’s one thing I learned from practicing yoga, it’s that you can breathe through pretty much anything.

3. People will be surprised by each your arguments and concerns. Because you weren’t proactive enough to share your expectations clearly and early. Or because you didn’t speak with Meaningful Concrete Immediacy.

Or because you shaded the truth. The problem is, when people become accustomed to living in the dark, it surprises the hell out of them when the lights suddenly flicker on. Because then they have no idea what to do about key issues. Are your expectations camouflaged?

STRATEGY: Make your instructions, expectations, emails, phone calls, meetings and conversations more actionable.

4. People will stop volunteering information. Because they won’t feel like it’s is a safe container in which they can share. Which means they’ll either bury their problems deep down inside their bodies (which causes physical stress).

Or take their problems to someone else (who probably has no idea what the hell she’s talking about). How are you creating a Question Friendly Environment?

STRATEGY: Burn your Suggestion Box. Hang up a Question Box. Keep it
anonymous. Then, for every question that’s submitted, donate one dollar to the Office Party Budget. That way, more questions = more snacks.

5. People will become apprehensive due to your unpredictability. If people never know what’s on your mind, the silent dialogue will become, “For all I know, could be a ticking time bomb this morning! Better not say anything deep or lengthy.”

Again, this leads to disengaged, low-involvement conversations with minimal self-disclosure. And because nobody knows what you’re thinking, they (might) end up doing the exact opposite of what you wanted.

And it will be YOUR fault because, contrary to your hopes and dreams, they were unable to read your mind. What are you doing that prevents people from learning from you?

STRATEGY: Learn how to become (somewhat) predictable.

– – –

REMEMBER: The only judgment your people can (honestly) make about you is how interacting with you makes them FEEL.

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter if YOU think you’re approachable – it only matters if you’re perceived and remembered as being approachable by the people you serve.

If not, I guarantee your organization WILL suffer.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How is being unapproachable hurting your organization?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “7 Ways to Radically Raise Receptivity of Those You Serve,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

Never the same speech twice.
Always about approachability.

Watch The Nametag Guy in action here!

How to become the Most Inspirational Person You Know

The word “inspire” derives from the Latin inspiraire, which means, “to breathe into.”

So, I’m curious:

What are YOU breathing into people?

Hope? Happiness?
Passion? Permission?
Creativity? Confidence?

I know. Kind of tough question. And if you can’t think of your answer right away, don’t sweat it.

WHAT you breathe into people isn’t as important as THAT you breathe into people.

Unless you have a high-garlic diet.

HERE’S THE REALITY: Being an inspirational person is combination of three elements…

1. The person you’ve become.
2. How people experience you.
3. How people experience themselves in relation TO you.

Unfortunately – despite your best efforts – you CAN’T inspire everyone you encounter.

Some people just aren’t inspirable.

No matter how hard you work to raise their receptivity.
No matter how many positive quotations you write on their dry erase board.

Not everyone wants (or is ready to be) be inspired.

And that’s fine. Your life’s work shouldn’t to inspire people.

Rather, your challenge is to embody the attributes of inspirational people.

Because THAT is the only way to increase the probability that other people will become inspired too.

Here’s (part 1) of a list of strategies for becoming the most inspirational person you know…

1. Be playful, but not to the point where people stop taking you seriously. People won’t listen TO, or be inspired BY, someone they have a hard time taking seriously. After all, it’s impossible to listen to someone if you’re too busy questioning that person’s character.

Here’s a revealing exercise you might noodle with: (1) Make a list of three people you’ve never taken seriously, (2) Write down what, specifically, caused you to feel that way, and (3) Ask yourself if YOU embody any of those attributes, and if that’s thwarting your ability to inspire others.

Your lack of self-awareness may startle you. What is preventing people from taking you seriously? How might you accidentally be diminishing the perception of your expertise? And what are you doing that’s preventing people from being inspired by you?

2. Break down your message into digestible, democratized bits. Inspirational people rarely overwhelm others with their knowledge. Digestible means this: If you have a lot of ideas to convey, chunk them down into small clusters. By spacing ideas effectively, they’re easier to digest. Otherwise people feel intimidated by a barrage of knowledge, which reduces receptivity.

Democratized means this: Deliver it in a way that appeals to the broadest audience possible. Enable multiple dimensions of your ideas to be pursued by the listener. Leave your stories open for new interpretations, conclusions and lessons.

This approach will compliment others’ contributions to your ideas AND help them work for their own ideas. How listenable are you? How are you pampering people’s short-term memories? And how do you break your message down?

3. Consistency inspires people. Mainly, because it’s hard execute and even harder to come by. So, remember two things: (1) Consistency is far better than rare moments of greatness, and (2) Consistency, despite convenience and comfort, creates uncracked character – and THAT’S what is inspirational.

Check out The Official Guide to Being More Consistent or How to Run a Consistency Audit for a closer look at HOW to put this into practice. How is your consistency inspirational? What are you doing consistently that most people aren’t? And what kind of structure can you place around yourself to make sure you remember to be consistent?

4. Create an avenue for others to benefit from your unique gifts. Maybe it’s via your blog. Maybe it’s out in the community. Maybe it’s on the radio. Maybe it’s in the local newspaper.

The point is: We’ve all been given unique gifts. And our sole assignment during the short time we spend on this Earth is to return the favor by USING ours gifts to make the world more beautiful.

And the best part is, our usefulness isn’t just a form of worship – it’s also a form inspiration. Think about it: Do you know anyone with incredible gifts (who SHARES those gifts regularly) that ISN’T inspiring? Of course not. Because that’s impossible.

So, your challenge is to clarify your contribution. To leave this cosmic campsite called life better than the way you found it. To validate your existence by making passion palpable. And to take whatever unique gift you’ve been given and re-gift it by exploiting it in the service of others.

Interestingly, the word “contribute” comes from the Latin, contributus, which means, “to bring together.” What are you bringing together? What were you made to make? And what avenue will you use to help others benefit FROM and be inspired BY your unique gifts?

5. Don’t start doing something special – STOP doing something normal. Instead of immediately shooting down every suggestion people offer with an objection that proves how smart you are, just stop. Breathe. Then, leverage that opportunity as a teachable moment.

As my friend Chris “Genuine” Johnson says, “Most people have raging impulses to interrupt one another. Instead, show some restraint. Suppress conversational tension by waiting for your turn to share poignant insights.”

Suggestions: Be not seduced by the dark side. Curb the craving spew a steady stream self-glorifying wisdom that’s inherently impressive and interesting, yet obviously irrelevant and inapplicable.

And, learn to share your knowledge without showcasing it. Learn to present your ideas without hurling them. In their irregularity, such actions become inspirational. What normal things could you stop? What would be unlike you to do? And what could you do in this situation that would be the polar opposite of everybody else?

6. Evoke emotional responses. The word “emotion” derives from the Latin emotere, which means, “to disturb.” So, it’s not bad, it’s not good – it’s just a disturbance. A breaking of patterns. A shaking up of things. And if you want to use this practice to become more inspirational, here’s how:

Make your words piercing and disquieting. So much so that people squirm in their seats. Sure, it might be uncomfortable for a minute, but that’s part of the adventure. And the reality is, some people NEED to have a little disturbance “breathed into them.”

Richard Avdoian, my inspiring colleague, friend, mentor and occasional therapist, is a master at this practice. His words never fail to be provocative. Because of his background in psychotherapy, mental health and marriage counseling, Richard uses uncommon, unexpected words like “seductive,” “tranquilizer,” and “personhood” in everyday conversation.

Most people can’t help but lean in closer, listen – become slightly disturbed – and experience inspiration. How provocative are your words? How are you branding your language? And if you were charged with the crime of “Leadership with Intent to Disturb,” would there be evidence to convict you?

7. Exert your humanity. When you courageously endorse your own weaknesses, you demonstrate an acceptance of the imperfect humanness of others. In Alan Webber’s Rules of Thumb, he explains:

“We’re drawn to people who know who they are, who are comfortable in their own skins. Their sense of themselves makes it easier for us to know and trust them. It cuts down on the wasted energy and head games that too often accompany people in power who are at war with themselves.”

So, here’s a rapid-fire list for becoming inspirational through your humanity: Communicate less perfectly. Lead with vulnerability. Publicly celebrate mistakes. Acknowledge and embrace all aspects of who you are. Be willing to talk about that shadow. Practice radical honesty. Practice self-deprecating humor.

When does the feeling of formality keep you from communicating freely and honestly? Are you someone others can be vulnerable in front of? And how does your imperfect humanity inspire others to exert the same?

REMEMBER: You can’t inspire everybody.

You CAN, however, increase the probability of inspiration by molding yourself into the most inspirational person you know.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
What are you breathing into people?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “7 Ways to Radically Raise Receptivity of Those You Serve,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

Never the same speech twice.
Always about approachability.

Watch The Nametag Guy in action here!

How to Run a Consistency Audit™

Consistency – despite convenience and comfort – creates uncracked character.

Unfortunately, I can’t teach you (or your company) how to be or stay consistent.

What I can do is give you some questions to ask yourself, your coworkers and your organization that will increase the PROBABILITY of consistency.

Consistency between:
Your choices and your core.
Your decisions and your dominant reality.
Your message and your mentality.

That’s what enables people to TRUST IN you.

Consistency between:
Your actions and your attitude.
Your behavior and your beliefs.
Your bold moves and your brand.

That’s what encourages people to DO BUSINESS WITH you.

Consistency between:
Your practices and your principles.
Your projects and your philosophies.
Your vocation and your values.

That’s what inspires people to FOLLOW AFTER you.

Consistency between:
Your ventures and your visions.
Your situations and your strengths.
Your terminology and your truth.

That’s what impels people to TALK ABOUT you.

Think you would benefit from that? Think your organization would benefit from that?

Cool.

It’s time to run your Consistency Audit™….

The questions below are broken down into seven categories: Purpose, Values, Vision, Identity, Brand, Life and Perception.

Feel free to approach them from an organizational OR an individual level. And if you’d like to have your leaders or staff in your company partake, send them to www.consistencyaudit.com!

1. Consistency of PURPOSE.
Because usefulness is worship. And leaders who are called – not driven – are the ones who make the most change in the world. So, don’t start a business – start a movement. Don’t make money – make history. And don’t do your job – validate your existence.

ASK YOURSELF:
o Am I acting from character and purpose, or is this behavior a coping mechanism to a situation?
o Am I willing to have all decisions judged in accordance with this purpose?
o How does this relate to my life purpose?
o What continually deflects me from my certainty of purpose?
o What is essential to my sense of being on purpose?
o What percentage of my time do I feel that I’m in alignment with my calling?
o What three things am I doing regularly that don’t serve or support my vision, calling or purpose?
o What would REAL fulfillment look like in this area if I were truly living my life purpose?

2. Consistency of VALUES.
Because people buy people first. And customers don’t buy from, trust in, or remain loyal to, companies or organizations; but to people. Also, on an internal level, people don’t quit jobs – they quit people.

ASK YOURSELF:
o Am I on a path that aligns my actions to my values?
o Is this consistent with my values?
o What non-negotiables need to be honored here?
o What could I do differently to better align my responses with my values?
o What values really matter to me enough that I’m willing to sacrifice for them?
o What would I protest publicly?
o Will this action move me closer to honoring my values or further away?
o What obstacles or threats might prevent me from staying consistent to the core vision?

3. Consistency of VISION.
Because imagination is everything. Because the HOW isn’t as important as the WHAT or the WHY. Because, at the risk of sounding cheesy, thoughts really DO become things. Especially when you write those thoughts down.

ASK YOURSELF:
o If everybody did exactly what I said, what would the world look like?
o Is my current action anchored in my vision?
o Is what I’m doing right now consistent with my #1 goal?
o Is what I’m telling people to do right now providing them with the tools they need to build that world I envision?
o On a scale of 1-10, how well does what I’m about to do connect to the overarching vision?
o What can I do to make this agree with my vision?
o What is the most important thing I can do to bring my activities in line with my values and vision?
o What would be most consistent with your vision in this situation?

4. Consistency of IDENTITY,
Because the goal is to bring more of yourself to every experience. To goal is to stay aligned with the working model of your identity. And the goal is to ask yourself, “What would I do in this situation? Ultimately, the goal is to think about what it would look like to “pull a YOU.”

ASK YOURSELF:
o Am I behaving in a manner that is consistent with my self-concept?
o Am I being the ME I always wanted to become?
o How would the person I’m trying to become do what I’m about to do?
o How is this helping me become more of my own adjective?
o If I were ME, what would I do in this situation?
o What does this situation need of me that only I can contribute?
o What would be SO typical of me in this situation?
o What would the earlier version of me do in this situation?
o What behaviors are preventing me from making progress towards becoming the best and highest version of myself?

5. Consistency of BRAND.
Brands are shortcuts. Expectations. Predictable moments of YOU-ness. And the secret isn’t to sell or market or advertise, but rather to transfer the emotion and passion and love of that which is non-average and non-boring.

ASK YOURSELF:
o Are the very first words out of my mouth consistent with my brand?
o How might this become an off-brand choice?
o How will I stamp this with my brand?
o If I decided to do this, would it support my empire?
o Is what I’m doing right now consistent with building my brand?
o What is the extension of my being, and am I exerting it here?
o Will this choice successfully express the personality of my brand?
o What could I say, do or BE – in this situation – that would simultaneously keep me in alignment with my truth, yet position me as the complete opposite of everyone else?
o Will this choice add the necessary blocks to build the brand that I want?

6. Consistency of LIVING.
Because people are listening to your life speak. People are watching what you DO. And the goal is to make your life the work of art, using YOU as the medium. Paint is for amateurs anyway.

ASK YOURSELF:
o Am I currently speaking from a place of personal truth?
o Are my actions predictable and congruent with my stated positions?
o How have I already done and become what I’m about to teach?
o How well is this statement reflected in my life right now?
o Is how I’m behaving right now consistent with the attitude I strive to maintain?
o Is the message I’m currently preaching the dominant reality of my life?
o Is the statement I’m making with my life consistent with my heart?
o What (specifically) do I need to have already done or become in order to confidently preach this message without people questioning my credibility?

7. Consistency of PERCEPTION.
Because what people remember about you is what you are. And that depends on how people experience you. It also depends on how people experience themselves when they’re with you. And it depends on what people think when they see your name.

ASK YOURSELF:
o How deep is the gap between my onstage performance and my backstage reality?
o If I did this, would the result in any way enhance my perception as a jack-of-all-trades?
o If I partook in this experience – and people saw me – would they perceive me as being out of alignment with my true self?
o If I proceeded with this endeavor, would people who know me have ANY question in their mind that it came from me?
o If my best clients and closest friends saw me doing this, would it be seen as a compromise of integrity?
o Once we’re finished with the project, would this client be a good commercial for my business?
o Would I want to become known for what I’m about to do?

– – –

FINAL CHALLENGE: If you completed the audit and noticed more areas of inconsistency then you’d like to have, that’s a good thing.

You don’t have to live your life as a walking contradiction if you don’t want to.

Instead, to bring your inner and outer worlds into harmony, consider these final questions:

1. How far can I deviate before crossing the line that puts me into inconsistent territory?

2. What kind of structure can I place around myself to make sure I remember to do this consistently?

3. What support would I need to have in place in order to remember that I have a choice?

REMEMBER: Nobody can “force” consistency upon you or your organization.

THE GOOD NEWS IS: By running this audit; you great increase the PROBABILITY of being and staying consistent.

Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned from wearing a nametag for the past 3,164 days, it’s that consistency is far better than rare moments of greatness.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How much money is being inconsistent costing you?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
If you’d like to have your leaders or staff in your company partake in this process, send them to www.consistencyaudit.com!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

Who’s quoting YOU?

Check out Scott’s Online Quotation Database for a bite-sized education on branding success!

www.stuffscottsaid.com.


How to Handle Jerks without Resorting to Passive Aggression, Hostile Confrontation or Murder

Almost everyone deals with one.

A bully. A tyrant. A toxic person. A pain in the ass.

You know, a jerk.

THE BAD NEWS IS: It’s part of life. It’s part of having a job. It’s part of working with people.

THE GOOD NEWS IS: You have a choice in how you respond to these people.

Today we’re going to explore the most effective attitudes and responses for approaching (and being approached by) jerks.

We’ll identify philosophies and practices you need to interact with your coworkers in healthy ways. Namely, those that DON’T make you want to gouge out your eyes with a letter opener.

Now, before we look at the strategies, let’s examine four big-picture issues…

FIRST: The reality of the jerk.
Accept the fact that you’re not going to change this person’s mind. Nor will you fundamentally alter his personality.

Chronic jerky behavior tends to be deep seeded and therefore, immobile. As such, it’s VERY hard to force people to renovate their habits and attitudes.

What’s worse, a jerk’s behavioral patterns have probably garnered him (some form of) success over his career. Otherwise he wouldn’t still be working there. This means the jerk’s incentive to change is about as attractive as relocating his cubicle to the septic tank.

SECOND: The reality of the context.
Also keep in mind the stratospheric ridiculousness of the typical corporate mentality: As long as the jerk meets the bottom line, he’s likely to continue behaving in the same way without anyone reprimanding him.

Sad but true. So again, remember that there’s little incentive to change.

THIRD: The reality of you.
Jerks cause people stress. Period. Now, I don’t have any fancy statistics to back this statement up; but I triple dog dare you to argue against it. And here’s the problem: With prolonged exposure, the chronic hostility induced by jerks CAN negatively affect your health.

As Lillian Glass wrote in Toxic People, “We’re so used to having toxic comments hurled at us by others that we begin to feel comfortable with them.”

The danger is, even if it’s only a few negative comments by your boss here and there, it still adds up. And contaminated environments will eventually hurt you directly.

Especially if you become SO frustrated with a coworker that you decide to spend your lunch hour smashing your head into the copy machine until the toner cartridge starts printing in red. Not exactly good for your health.

FOURTH: The reality of the solution.
Gary Namie said it best in Bullies at Work: “When dealing with difficult people, most normal adult communication techniques don’t work. And that will drive you up the wall.”

This means two things: (1) You’ve got to try new approaches, and (2) None of these approaches will work unless YOU are calm and emotional unreactive.

– – –

OK! Now that you’re aware of these four jerky realities, lets dig into some strategies for maintaining your approachability, even when dealing with people who drive you up the wall.

1. Change your reponse. You don’t need to change your situation, your environment or the people in it. In fact, you can’t. There are only three things in the world you CAN control: (1) Your thoughts, (2) Your choices, and (3) Your responses.

Notice I said “responses,” not reactions. HUGE difference. Reactions are unconscious reflexes; responses are conscious decisions.

So, no matter how hostile, rude or annoying some people are, you need to be strong enough to F-R-E-E-Z-E. To hold that moment in a loving space and engage in self-exploration via healthy internal dialogue.

This will help you dilute the toxicity of the effects of these people early on. And the cool part is, once you identify and understand the root of someone’s unapproachable behavior, you exponentially increase your ability to handle the person effectively.

Take some time out to assess what’s happening (and why) by asking yourself questions like:

o Could I possibly remind this individual of someone in their past who gave them a hard time?
o Did something change in this person’s personal life – perhaps a financial situation – making her more secretive and unapproachable?
o Did something change in this person’s workload or status making her more cold and rigid?
o How is it possible that this person could think or behave in this way, and under what circumstances would it make perfect sense to do so?
o If this person “accidentally” got run over by the UPS truck, would people suspect me?
o In what ways have my needs begun to clash with hers?
o Is this person threatened by me being rewarded at work and is shutting me out of the loop?
o Was there an incident between us that left bad feelings?
o Were there clues early on that this individual was going to put up barriers toward me or others?
o What are the verbal cues this person is offering that indicate what they value?
o What is it in me that might be causing this situation?
o Is it possible this person is a cyborg?

2. Understand the source. Let’s say your coworker, Karen, is a huge pain in the butt to work with. She saps you of your effectiveness and energy. Her behavior impairs your performance and creates an atmosphere of paranoia.

She shows no regard for your opinions. She displaces her fears on you. She’s interpersonally exploitative. And to compound the awfulness of the situation, she’s oblivious to those around her and unaware of the impact she’s having on you.

Yikes. Try this:

o Go to the source. Instead of trying to fight back, seek to establish an environment in which the abuse doesn’t occur. For example, let’s say someone is spreading office rumors about you. The single greatest strategy to deflect such nastiness is to live your life in a way that makes those rumors hard to swallow.

o Reduce exposure. As Mr. Miyagi suggested in The Karate Kid, “The best way to block a punch is to not be there.” So, consider the simple strategy of reducing your exposure to certain people.

And as Scott Adams explained in The Dilbert Principle, “You can’t win irrational people over to your side by your superior reasoning abilities. Trying to win an argument with an irrational person is like trying to teach a cat to snorkel by providing written instructions. You best strategy is to reduce the time you spend in that sort of situation.”

One strategy for doing so is to hold meetings in which the attendees (jerk included) are required to stand, not sit. According to The No Asshole Rule, requiring people to stand reduces the average meeting time by over 30%.

3. Use inner resources. OK. You’ve changed your immediate response. You’ve considered the source. Lastly, keep these actionable strategies at your disposal whenever you’re faced with consistent jerky behavior.

o Hold your gaze. Eye contact is an indicator of confidence. Don’t look away or you’ll appear intimidated. And, this will give the jerk the impression that his tactics are working and continue to fuel his fire. At the same time, don’t challenge the person to a staring duel. That only works in Westerns. Find the right balance.

o Increase your listenability. Because jerks aren’t great listeners, you need to try extra hard to make yourself more listenable. Check out this handy guide I wrote on (not) how to “get people to listen to you,” but rather, how to become a more listenable person.

o Breathe. When you own your breath, nobody can steal your peace. I learned this from taking yoga for the past two years, and it’s been an invaluable skill. Sure, it sounds cheesy and new age, but that doesn’t mean it’s ineffective. Just remember: The more disturbing people’s actions are, the more you need to coolly respond, instead of reacting. Cultivating a relationship with your breath will help you do that.

REMEMBER: Jerks are part of life. They’re part of having a job. They’re part of working with people.

Fortunately, you have a choice in how you deal with these people: You can either react, which is an unconscious reflex; or respond, which is a conscious decision.

Or, when all else fails, you can always resort to passive aggression, hostile confrontation or ice pick-related murder.

And if that’s the case, you don’t know me.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
What’s your secret for approaching jerks?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “26 Rapid-Fire Strategies for becoming the Most Approachable Person in Your Organization,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

If they can’t come UP to you; how will they ever get BEHIND you?

Buy Scott’s new book and learn daily practices for becoming a more approachable manager!

Pick up your copy (or a case!) right here.

How to Help Your Ideas (Actually) Get Through to People

You might be the best communicator in your office.
You might be the greatest conversationalist at your company.
You might be the warmest, friendliest, most approachable employee around.

But none of that matters if your coworkers aren’t in a state of receptivity.

You could have the fastest service in the industry.
You could have the slickest sales pitch on the streets.
You could have the funniest, most polished and engaging PowerPoint slides around.

But none of that matters if your customers aren’t in a state of receptivity.

HERE’S THE REALITY: You can’t make people listen to you.

You can only make an effort to raise their receptivity so your ideas have the highest probability of getting through AND getting understood…

THIS BEGETS THE QUESTION: What does it look like to be in a state of high receptivity?

Ask Robert Lefton, founder of Psychological Associates. In his famous book, Leadership Through People Skills, he spends at least half the text exploring this topic.

“Low receptivity is the refusal to allow ideas through a mental barrier that is set up to shut them out,” says Lefton. “And you have virtually no chance of communicating with someone whose receptivity is low.”

“As such, you (also) have virtually no chance of doing any of the things that depend on communication: motivating, training counseling, sharing ideas, discussing, debating, considering alternatives, weighing options or soliciting ideas.”

IN SHORT: No receptivity = No nothing.

It’s like talking to a brick wall. Sure, you THINK you’re communicating. But in reality, you’re just wasting your time. And the wall’s time.

There HAS to be a willingness to work with the other person. As Lefton suggests, “Your success depends on your ability to raise the level of receptivity and make willing partners out of unwilling people.”

Today we’re going to explore the attributes of receptive (and unreceptive) people. And as we go through the continuum, I’m going to challenge you to plug yourself into both sides of the equation to maximize your approachability.

FIRST: Spot signs of low or declining receptivity.

Lefton’s laundry list of low-receptivity behaviors includes:

Belligerence. Flat assertions. Impatience. Interruptions. Sarcasm. Silence. Apathy. Inattention. Nervousness. Meandering. Excessive socializing. Superficial questioning. Unquestioning agreement.

Now, since his book was written in 2000, I would also add to the following behaviors to the unreceptive list:

Checking email. Sending text messages. Listening to their iPod while you’re trying to tell them how badly they screwed up.

SO, ASK YOURSELF: What about this person’s behavior tells me that he isn’t open to what I’m trying to communicate?

SECOND: Spot signs of high or rising receptivity.

Next, here’s a list of high-receptivity behaviors:

Qualifying their assertions or arguments. Showing that her mind is not made up by questioning her own viewpoints. Thoughtful agreement. Involvement and non-belligerent debate. Pertinent questions.

Again, since Lefton’s book is a few years old, I would also add to the following behaviors to the receptive list:

Sitting up straight. Making eye contact. Holding a digital recorder, blank notebook and seven brand new pens.

SO, ASK YOURSELF: What about this person’s behavior tells me that she IS open to what I’m trying to communicate?

Ultimately, eloquence, logic – even well thought out arguments – are no substitute for receptivity.

I don’t care if you’re Dale Carnegie.

No Receptivity = No Nothing

REMEMBER: You can’t make people listen to you.

You can only make an effort to raise their receptivity so your ideas have the highest probability of getting through and getting understood.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How will you increase the probability of your ideas getting through?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “7 Ways to Radically Raise the Receptivity of Those You Serve,” send an email to me, and you get the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

If they can’t come UP to you; how will they ever get BEHIND you?

Buy Scott’s new book and learn daily practices for becoming a more approachable manager!

Pick up your copy (or a case!) right here.

How do I approach someone who always interrupts me?

How you respond to conversational interruptions is a powerful indicator of your character, patience and approachability.

Consider these five practices for approaching people who always interrupt you:

1. Press the “resume button”. When someone hijacks the conversation from you, make sure to return to where you left off. Depending on your relationship WITH and the personality OF the interrupter, your “resume button” could be:

*Polite: “May I continue with my story?
*Sarcastic: “As I was saying five minutes ago…”
*Playful: “Canifinish? Canifinish canifinish?” (from SNL, Dana Carvey)

2. Educate them. Maybe you’re concerned that someone is going to interrupt what you’re about to say. Or that you’ve got an important story that can’t be punctuated by other people’s clever little jokes. So, here’s the solution:

Educate them early. Explain WHY you can’t be interrupted. Preface your story or comment with, “Carol, this is a really important story, so hang onto your comments until I’m done – cool?”

3. Interrupt the interrupter. Sometimes you have to give ‘em a taste of their own medicine. To fight fire with fire. So, interrupt them right back. See how they like it. Don’t worry; if they’ve already interrupted you first, you have permission to return the gesture.

4. Use silence strategically. Sometimes the best strategy is to simply stop talking when interrupted. Punctuated by a patient, semi-serious gaze, this practice allows the interrupter to hear the amplified sound of her conversational narcissism in your silence.

And, when timed correctly, you can usually get an apology out of the person, this granting you permission to continue speaking. Keep in mind this strategy doesn’t work with ALL interrupter personalities, but can be effective when used correctly.

5. Express your emotions. If someone is completely unaware of his interrupting patterns, say the following: “Steve, when you interrupt me like that, it makes me feel (x) because (y).” Then pause. Then wait for his apology. Then continue.

If he doesn’t apologize say, “Steve, I choose not to have conversations when I feel constantly interrupted.” Then walk away or hang up.

The key word here is “choose.” Ultimately, this strategy will work because it’s focused on the behavior, not the person, and reinforces your commitment to your values and boundaries.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How do you handle interrupters?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “26 Rapid-Fire Strategies for becoming the Most Approachable Person in Your Organization,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

If they can’t come UP to you; how will they ever get BEHIND you?

Buy Scott’s new book and learn daily practices for becoming a more approachable manager!

Pick up your copy (or a case!) right here.

How to Avoid Bombing Your Next 360 Evaluation

1. Demonstrate an awareness of how your behavior affects others. Without knowing how others experience you, you’ll never get any better.

Too many leaders are guilty of a complete and utter unwillingness to understand how other people experience them. Partly because of their ego. Partly because they’re scared the feedback might be negative. And partly because they’re scared that the feedback will require them to (GASP!) change.

This, I can certainly relate to. As a speaker, I’ve had video footage that I couldn’t bring myself to watch until YEARS later. Namely, because I was terrified of discovering how stupid I looked, how many people in the audience were sleeping and how few people in the audience were laughing.

Interestingly, once I finally mustered the courage to watch myself on tape, my performance didn’t turn out that to be that bad. In fact, I only spotted ONE person in the whole crowd who was sleeping. And I’m pretty sure that guy was drunk. So, I’m challenging you get over yourself by opening yourself to the reality of how your behavior affects the people around you. How often do you spy on yourself?

2. Make a concerted effort to understand how other people experience you. Sometimes you’re too close to yourself to see the parts of yourself that drives other people crazy.

People can learn what you know just by observing your life. So, maybe it’s time you get bitten by the bug of self-awareness. Maybe it’s time you run an honest self-appraisal. Take some time to ask yourself the following three questions:

*How do people describe their experience with you?
*How (do you want people to) describe their experience with you?
*And what specific steps can you take to make the answers to those two questions more similar?

You will (probably) be startled by your own lack of awareness. After all, the only judgment people can make – the only impression their unconscious mind can form – is a function of how interacting with you made them FEEL. And ultimately, it doesn’t matter what YOU think; it matters what THEY remember. Are you approachable, but not remembered as being approachable?

3. Convey a thorough understanding of yourself. You can’t coach others if haven’t conquered the person in the mirror first.

Create a governing document for daily your decision-making. I guarantee this exercise will change your life. Here’s how you do it…

Start by making a list of every single choice you made yesterday: What you ate, when you interrupted, how you listened to people, which tasks your invested your time in, EVERYTHING. From the moment you woke up to the moment you went to bed.

Then, for each choice, go back and think HOW you made that choice: What questions did you ask yourself? What thought processes did you take yourself through? Write those notes down.

Finally, once you’ve uncovered the WHAT and the HOW, ask yourself WHY: What values were those choices rooted in? What commonalities did all your choices have? And what words governed the questions you asked yourself when you made those choices?

Then, if you really want to blow people away, keep a copy of this document in your wallet or on your wall. Reference it on demand. Title it “How I Make Decisions” or “My Opportunity Filter.” Not only will it keep you accountable and consistent, but it will also inspire all who see it to run a similar self-assessment of their own decision-making. When was the last time you made an appointment with yourself?

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How will you avoid bombing your next 360 evaluation?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “33 Daily Practices for Boosting Your Managerial Magnetism,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

Never the same speech twice.
Always about approachability.

Watch The Nametag Guy in action here!

Scott’s Ginsberg’s Official Guide to Being More Consistent

You know my mantra:

“Consistency is far better than rare moments of greatness.”

The challenge is actually executing that virtue.

Here’s how:

1. ACT in harmony with the way you see yourself. That’s the big assignment. And it’s not an easy one to take one.

2. ALIGN your responses with your values. That way you won’t have to try to remember what you said.

3. ASK what would be so typical of you to do in this situation. Then do that. Establish enough predictability that you can prove people’s expectations every time.

4. ASSURE the first words out of your mouth are consistent with your brand. So much so that when you answer the phone, people nod and smile at your seamlessness.

5. BE The You you’ve always wanted to become. After all, living falsehoods is exhausting. And with the exception of Danny Ganz, Dana Carvey and Frank Caliendo, impressionists rarely make it big.

6. BEHAVE (right now) consistent with the attitude you strive to maintain. Otherwise people will not listen to your words because they’ll be too busy examining the character deficiency within your actions.

7. CHOOSE what few things you will consistently make part of your life, regardless of the circumstances. These become your non-negotiables. Your must-haves, must-do’s and must-be’s.

8. DECIDE if this choice will bring you closer to the highest version of yourself. If it won’t, consider making a different one. Life’s too short.

9. DETERMINE what values & aspirations you want your behaviors to be aligned with. Then keep them typed out on a little laminated card in your wallet.

10. DO what a cool company would do in this situation. Because cool companies get noticed, get remembered and GET business. And that’s good for business.

11. DO what consistency would do in this situation. Because consistency is far better than rare moments of greatness. Not to mention, it’s a hell of a lot easier.

12. DO what the person you are trying to become would do. This brings you one step closer. One chisel smack away from revealing the sculpture inside the stone.

13. DO what YOU would do in this situation. Wear a bracelet that reads, “WWID?” That should start some interesting conversations.

14. DO whatever you have to do to make this agree with your vision. And after a while, if you still can’t match the two up, bag it.

15. GIVE to this situation that which only you alone can offer. Preferably, that which you were designed to cure. That which you are known for knowing. That which you can’t help but doing and being.

16. GO out of your way to ME-ize this moment. Stamp it with the emblem of YOU.

17. IMAGINE what it would mean and look like to be true to your values here. That will most likely impel you into action.

18. KEEP on the path that aligns your actions to your values. It has the best view, the fewest potholes and the least amount of litter.

19. LET the best YOU come across in this situation. Any other version is robbing other people of experiencing your awesomeness.

20. LISTEN to who you are before responding. That split second pause might actually improve your answer.

21. MAKE choices that add wood to your internal fire. Then watch that baby burn, burn burn.

22. MOVE in a way that honors your soul. Because that will actually honor OTHER people’s souls too.

23. PLACE structure around yourself to make sure you remember what to do consistently. Sticky notes work. Mantras written on the wall work. Silicone bracelets work.

24. PONDER what the earlier version of yourself would have done in this situation. Then decide if the current version of yourself knows a better way.

25. PRACTICE bringing a little more of yourself to every situation. Not too much. Just enough that you walk away thinking, “I really felt like MYSELF back there.”

26. PREACH the message that is the dominant reality of your life. Otherwise people will not listen to you because of the non-stop noise of your character deficiency.

27. REMEMBER that flawless execution doesn’t exist. Make mistakes, make them early and make them quick. Write them down and what you learned. Then keep moving.

28. SPEAK from a place of personal truth. It makes you more listenable.

29. STAMP everything with you do with your brand, or else don’t bother doing it. After all, what happens when everybody loves it, but doesn’t know who made it?

30. STAY in alignment with the best working model of your identity. Which means you should probably create that model first.

31. STRIVE to behave in a manner that is consistent with your self-concept. It’s hard to do but it will serve you well.

32. USE this experience to continuing becoming the highest version of yourself. Because that’s the only version people will benefit from.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How much money is being inconsistent costing you?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “33 Daily Practices for Boosting Your Managerial Magnetism,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

Who’s quoting YOU?

Check out Scott’s Online Quotation Database for a bite-sized education on branding success!

www.stuffscottsaid.com.


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