When somebody cancels plans last minute, it often says more about the person being cancelled on, than the canceler themselves.
It becomes an interpersonal inkblot test, providing insight into much deeper issues around attachment, worthiness and forgiveness.
Imagine one of your good friends sends you a message ten minutes before your party is about to begin. Turns out, she’s exhausted from the week and won’t be able to make it tonight, but she sends her love and hopes you have a great time and plans to see you at the next one.
How do you respond to this rejection?
Do you write a resentful, passive aggressive note to her about how she inconvenienced you by declining the invitation, or do you accept that something outside of your control might be going on in her life?
Do you reject her rejection and start lecturing her about how it’s not polite to flake out, or do you accept her boundaries and remember that everyone is disappointing from time to time, including yourself?
Do you question your relationship with her, or do you trust she still loves you even if she bails out every once in a while?
Do you feel rejected, abandoned and insulted, or do you know in your heart that you’re lovable and this interaction is not a reflection of your value?
Do you worry that the cancellation plague is ruining all of your friendships, or do you have faith in social prosperity and abundance that flows to you freely?
Yet another sign that letting go might be in order. Because is it really worth it to undermine your own peace of mind by obsessing over something small like this?
Forgiveness is a smarter use of your energy. Not because it erases the act of rejection, but because it relieves the residue of rejection that’s alive inside of you.
It breaks my heart, but some people simply don’t believe that they deserve to be kind to themselves and others. Myself included.
All the more reason to forgive ours and other people’s imperfections, remembering that that at any given point, we’re all doing our best with the level of awareness we’ve been given.
LET ME ASK YA THIS…
If you learned to make your acceptance of human nature as radical as possible, how would your relationships be different?