Wow, that person must be in a lot of pain right now

If something helps you secure a measure of control in a world of chaos, then it's worth doing. Even if that sense of control is delusional, it still provides utility value. Because feeling able to influence your reality in any way is deeply motivating and satisfying. My therapist once told me, control may be an illusion, but empowerment isn't. Meaning, if you believe that you have a role in determining your future, it doesn't really matter if you're right or...

Some people wake up in the morning fraught with potential crises. They constantly feel that the bottom is about to fall out. Minor details that would be nonissues to others seem like insurmountable hurdles to them. Having to cope with life's daily events is a second full time job. And they’re either late, afraid of being late, or freaking out because they were late. As a result of this toxic emotional baseline, they have a continual need for others to...

If your entire identity centers around how much you hate someone or something else, you lost. If you define yourself solely by what you dislike rather than what you enjoy, you're not living. Now, there's no rule that says you have to love everything and everyone, but if your default response to the world is to demonize things, give problems even more energy and create unnecessary psychological fuel around them, then you're building negative value for the rest of us....

When someone’s opinion goes against the majority it’s deemed unpopular. Which is essentially just code for wrong, infuriating, shameful and offensive. People are now ostracized, penalized and cancelled for what the world assumes they meant. Discourse is not even about listening anymore, it’s about judging. I’m right, you’re wrong, has officially degraded into, I’m right, you’re evil. This is why entire message boards and communities are built for people to anonymously share unpopular opinions. Our feelings have become dangerous and...

A leading medical journal recently reported that only a quarter of doctors wear name badges, despite evidence that most patients believe their doctors should do so. The study showed that three fourths of patients were unable to name anyone when asked to recall the name of the physician in charge of their care, causing additional frustration. The irony is, most patients get dozens of identification tags from the moment they're admitted. Think back to the last time you visited someone...