It’s not reality, it’s just the shit that we think

Here’s one of my favorite cheesy jokes. A man walks into a bar and sits next to a women with a dog. He asks her if her dog has ever bitten anyone. She says no. The man reaches down to pet the animal, and the dog jumps up and takes a chunk out of his hand. Hey, I thought you said your dog’s never bitten anyone, shouts the man. And the woman replies, I know, but that’s not my dog....

Once during a five hour bus ride, the woman across the aisle from me had ants in her pants. Do you remember hearing that phrase as a child? Parents and teachers would use it to describe kids who are unable to sit still, due to anxiety, excess energy, or impatience. Anyway, the women next to me spent the entire bus trip executing the same series of tasks. Check the notifications on her phone.Switch sitting positions.Rifle through her purse.Eat a snack.Pull...

Bankruptcy lawyers report that the number one fear of all clients is, they’re going to lose everything. After all the documents are signed, they’re going to be out on the street, homeless, and everyone will know. This is largely myth. Declaring bankruptcy doesn’t automatically mean you’ll be destitute. Read any bankruptcy firm’s website. They’ll report that it’s unlikely that you’ll lose all of your personal property. Assets like clothing, pets, home furnishing and the like are treated as exemptions, which...

One of my coworkers joked that the only reason she stays away from the dishwasher is, she’s a real feminist fighting the good fight. That’s admirable. Good for her for standing her ground and not upholding that outdated gender stereotype. On the other hand, there’s a fine line between honoring your cherished values and not being a good office citizen. If your team is stressed out and the dishes are piling up because the office manager is sick or the...

If you had to choose between waiting for the storm to pass, or learning to dance in the rain, which would be more appealing to you? If you interpret the riddle from a literal standpoint, it mostly depends on footwear. If you're wearing hiking sandals that have strong ground traction and washable waterproof leather, then dance away. Take the long way home from work and enjoy the wet adventure. On the other hand, if you're wearing diamond studded stiletto heels,...