Managing the emotional toll of internal and external voices

Managing the emotional toll of internal and external voices

My yoga teacher once told me he’s tired of hearing that people never change: "People only change, that's all they do." Assuming that’s true, then the question each of us must ask ourselves is: Will we get out in front of the change and reinvent ourselves proactively, or will we wait around for the whirlwind of the world to knock us to our knees and then shake things up? My thought is, well, we’re going to change either way, so...
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Don’t pick your teeth with that leg bone, honey

Evolutionary psychologists often talk about something called the naturalistic fallacy, also known as the appeal to nature argument. It occurs when something is assumed to be good because it is natural, or bad because it is unnatural. Turns out, that’s just a story we tell ourselves. Cultural meaning systems determine what counts as natural or unnatural. The mere naturalness of something is unrelated to its positive or negative qualities. Natural things can sometimes be bad or harmful, like jellyfish and poison...
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Meeting the closed heart of the world with kindness

If we’re expecting to be thanked for every act of kindness, then we’re going to be waiting for a very long time. Because that’s not how generosity works. The goal is to express our appreciation, not our expectation. No matter how badly we need and want to be singled out and congratulated on our benevolence. Kindness is just one of those things that becomes its own reward. We do it because it creates connection and generates respect. We do it...
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Relief from petty torment is on its way

The richness of life is often overlooked by giving our attention to the wrong things. Petty vanities, minor deceits, minuscule inconveniences, trivial irritations, trifling nuisances, imagined obligations, unnecessary activities, pointless distractions, we clutter our existence with all of this psychic debris. Both consciously and unconsciously. And that’s why we never seem to notice the extraordinary beauty and opportunity and joy that lies right before us. Not because we’re blind, it’s because we’re busy. We get sucked into the undertow of...
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Is this worth a multiple of the energy put into it?

Leveraging means using something to our maximum advantage. Increasing the rate of return of an investment. Exponentially improving our odds with minimal effort and friction. If that sounds cold and clinical and corporate, you’re absolutely right. But that doesn’t mean we can’t use the phenomenon of leverage to dramatically improve our lives. The secret most of us miss is, our highest leverage comes from anticipating rather than reacting. Otherwise, by the time we take action, it will be too late....
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