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Everything seems inevitable and logical in retrospect.  But for now, reason is being invaded by history. Tumbling down a fantastic realm where logic and reason no longer applied, there seems to be no objective moral framework in the unforgiving chaos of this absurd universe.  This is difficult for our primitive egos to comprehend.  Because nobody wants to admit they’ve seen something that their education or experience can’t explain. That…

We must remember that we are okay.  Vandijk’s research on calming the emotional storm identifies a subtle phenomenon called an invalidating environment.  It’s where we are taught that our emotions are wrong inappropriate or not okay. The underlying message is to not feel what we are feeling.  Like the hyper critical parent who offers an infuriating nonstop commentary on our shortcomings. Or the insensitive teacher who tells us that getting angry is…

My mentor once gave me a priceless piece of business advice.  Once you’ve sold something, don’t buy it back. Just get your money and walk away. Resist the urge to justify the purchase, over explain the product or excessively thank the customer. Be grateful for the sale and go make another one.  It’s not only great advice for making sales, but also for making decisions.  Because for many people,…

Sobriety is less about the act of consumption and more about the command of oneself.  It’s about the independence from craving. Not allowing things to consume us, so to speak.  Public health agencies have done a helpful job of reframing the official definition of sobriety. They refer to it as the achievement and maintenance of control over, and equilibrium in, our life in general.  Interestingly enough, they mention that…

Years ago, a popular national news show wanted to feature me as a human interest story on their upcoming episode about luck.  They asked if they could follow me around for a day to see how wearing a nametag helped open doors with strangers, create connections and stack the cards in my favor.  Sounds fun, so let’s do it.  But when the crew showed up at my apartment, the…

Recentresearchfrom a federal library found that we are a shockingly wasteful country.  The study showed that more than sixty percent of the energy that flows through our economy is ultimately wasted. Between fuel inputs such as coal and natural gas, and the end use energy consumption for residential, industrial and transportation purposes, less than half of that fuel was constructively used at the end of the day.  One data…

Because you are a person, some things are very difficult not to take personally. Events feel like unique misfortunes picked out especially for us.  How could that company have fired me? Why did my favorite client leave? Where does that horse get off walking away from me like that?  But despite the cinematic sense of karmic justice that we were taught to believe in when we were young, one…

My doctor friend once gave me a warning that sent a corkscrew of chill through the hollows of my spine: The worst opiate out there is the one you like.  Meaning, whatever substance allows us to escape from our anxieties, whatever chemical creates a barrier that shields us from the sharp edges of reality, legal or illegal, can be a very dangerous thing. At the very least, it can…

Ruth was legendary for not fearing a swing and a miss.  That’s why he broke the record for home runs and strikeouts in the same season. Babe made baseball history by succeeding and failing simultaneously.  Interestingly enough, this trend continues a century later. Statistics show that today’s batters who fail the most spectacularly also tend to be among the greatest successes.  It makes sense. They view their strikeouts as…

In this time of social distancing, people are staying six feet apart from each other.  They’re wearing masks, goggles, hats, hoodies, gloves and other protective outerwear. Doing whatever they can to keep ourselves and each other safe from exposure to the virus.  But one of the interpersonal challenges of our culture’s new social contract is, it has become harder and harder to recognize each other in passing.  Now more…