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My yoga teacher once told me he’s tired of hearing that people never change: “People only change, that’s all they do.” Assuming that’s true, then the question each of us must ask ourselves is: Will we get out in front of the change and reinvent ourselves proactively, or will we wait around for the whirlwind of the world to knock us to our knees and then shake things up?…

Evolutionary psychologists often talk about something called the naturalistic fallacy, also known as the appeal to nature argument. It occurs when something is assumed to be good because it is natural, or bad because it is unnatural. Turns out, that’s just a story we tell ourselves. Cultural meaning systems determine what counts as natural or unnatural. The mere naturalness of something is unrelated to its positive or negative qualities. Natural…

If we’re expecting to be thanked for every act of kindness, then we’re going to be waiting for a very long time. Because that’s not how generosity works. The goal is to express our appreciation, not our expectation. No matter how badly we need and want to be singled out and congratulated on our benevolence. Kindness is just one of those things that becomes its own reward. We do…

The richness of life is often overlooked by giving our attention to the wrong things. Petty vanities, minor deceits, minuscule inconveniences, trivial irritations, trifling nuisances, imagined obligations, unnecessary activities, pointless distractions, we clutter our existence with all of this psychic debris. Both consciously and unconsciously. And that’s why we never seem to notice the extraordinary beauty and opportunity and joy that lies right before us. Not because we’re blind,…

Leveraging means using something to our maximum advantage. Increasing the rate of return of an investment. Exponentially improving our odds with minimal effort and friction. If that sounds cold and clinical and corporate, you’re absolutely right. But that doesn’t mean we can’t use the phenomenon of leverage to dramatically improve our lives. The secret most of us miss is, our highest leverage comes from anticipating rather than reacting. Otherwise,…

Here’s an unscientific but fascinating personality test. How many keys are on your keychain? How many of them do you actually use? And how many of those keys are total mysteries to you? Maybe your chain stays lean and clean. Just the basics. House, car, office, mailbox. Or maybe you’re someone who saves old keys from a former jobs and relationships that you keep around for sentimental value. Then…

We don’t fear change, we fear loss. That’s why we say that the devil we know is better than the devil we don’t. Because it’s far easier to continue with the status quo than face something new. It’s far easier to convince ourselves that the unknown is far worse than our current situation. Consider the overworked and underpaid employee whose job makes him miserable day after day. At least…

The value proposition of online dating websites is, they take the lottery out of love. In fact, many of them work so well, they guarantee it. Match famously states that if you don’t find someone special within six months, they’ll give you an additional six months free. Terms and conditions apply, of course, but the offering is legitimate. It certainly convinced me to sign up for the service during my…

Generosity has historically been at odds with marketing. Firstly, from an economic perspective. Anytime we give something away for free, whether it’s an idea, a product or a service, scarcity ceases to exist. The balance of power shifts. Value perception plummets, since people believe they get what they pay for. And because everybody wants things that other people can’t get, they no longer feel special. By giving things away…

A common piece of criticism people give me about wearing a nametag every day is, well you’re just doing it for attention. And my short answer is, you’re absolutely right. That is exactly my reason for doing it. The attention is great. But my experiment is not quite as narcissistic as it may initially seem. Because while someone wears a name tag to get attention, they also wear it…