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Heartland’s popular forgiveness scale says that over course of our lives, negative things may occur because of three factors. Our own actions, the actions of others, or circumstances beyond our control. And if you take the quiz, you’ll notice that the questions address the degree to which you have negative thoughts or feelings after the events happen. That’s a critical distinction. Because with the exception of sociopaths, everyone feels…

My favorite type of review for any service professional is when the customer writes: She made me feel like we had been friends for ages. Have you ever had that feeling before? Where the first time you met someone, you felt like you’d known him all your life? This special brand of interaction is fascinating to me. When strangers are able to cut the formalities and start connecting for…

Faith is a complicated, misused, misunderstood word. And that’s fine with me. Because there are as many paths to faith as there are people to walk them. It’s not about what’s right or wrong or good or bad, it’s simply a choice each person makes about their inner lives to help survive the insanity of the outer one. Even if that means not having any faith, which is still…

There’s no such thing as finding your dream job. But there is a such thing as creating a fulfilling life, of which our job is a key part. That job doesn’t have to be the biggest or most important container of meaning in our life, but it still can contribute to our overall level of satisfaction with it. If there’s one thing you learn in recovery for workaholism, it’s…

Olympians are inspiring to me. Not only for their dedication and athletic ability, but also for their grace. One notable story comes to mind. After competing against one another in the four hundred meter dash, two olympians crossed the finish line and embraced. Then as a symbol of respect, they exchanged nametags. James, the nineteen year old champion and gold medalist, didn’t flaunt his victory, but instead, made the…

Cognitive dissonance is a powerful psychological force. It’s the mental discomfort we experience when holding two contradictory beliefs. Like when an entrepreneur has the opportunity to engage in a business deal that makes economical sense, but at the same time, feels opposed to his self image. Should he pull the trigger on this new project, or pass on the deal? Should artistic sensibility take a backseat to commercial consideration, or…

America is long past the nostalgia for a golden age of company loyalty. The idea of the company man, someone with an excessive commitment to serving the interests of the organization which employs him, is an outdated movie trope at best, and a misguided dream at worst. Woolridge wrote a popular article at the turn of the millennium about this trend. She observed in the early nineties, the corporate…

Core values exercises are highly useful in helping us figure out what’s most important to us, so we can prioritize our lives accordingly. As my mentor used to tell me, values make all decisions easier. Once you know who you are, all you have to do is execute your actions against that framework, and you’ll have a greater probability of authentic fulfillment. But there’s another compelling aspect of core…

We spent some time with an old friend recently, and something was glaringly different about her. Both visually and energetically. Did she change her diet? Restyle her hair? Start a new career? Find love with a new partner? Couldn’t figure it out. Regardless, it was delightful being around her, and in a way that felt refreshing to us. At the end of the evening, I asked my wife if…

My public speaking mentor once told me that the content of someone’s presentation was irrelevant, because anybody can deliver any given material. What he focused on was the speaker’s humor, because humor is the only universal language. Humor is one of the few things in this life that has the capacity to override people’s native defenses, he instructed. Laughing lubricates people’s intellectual digestive system, the surprise of humor creates…