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Motivation doesn’t happen to us, it happens in us. If there’s something we need to discipline ourselves to do, it’s not a question of making the time to do it. Everybody knows nobody has time for anything.  The secret is creating a rich context of meaning around the activity so it becomes existentially painful not to do it. Dragging our butts out of bed and into the gym is…

“Your culture will kill you softly with its song, and you won’t even notice.” One of the first lessons I learned from wearing a nametag everyday was, if you don’t make a name for yourself, someone will make one for you. And it might not be the one you want. Proving, that identity is a proactive endeavor. We can’t be bystanders in defining who we are. It’s too important…

“If you’re planning, you’re hiding.” Joining a gym is a fascinating experience. Especially when you consider all the universal human issues at work. Discipline, motivation, body image, financial commitment, social pressure, comparing ourselves to others, worrying about getting gawked at. It’s no wonder people stress over the process. But for many, the hardest part is pulling the trigger. Physically going there, becoming a member and hitting the iron for the first time. That…

“Be ten cents more trusted, not ten cents less expensive.” Most neighborhood bodegas are cash only, or have a minimum credit card balance. But since I don’t always carry cash, and since I love snacks like pretzels, peanuts and apples, shopping can be a stressful experience. Sometimes I run across the street to get money. Sometimes I buy a bunch of groceries to hike up the bill. Sometimes I just walk…

“Show me how you get clear, and I’ll show you who you are.” Understanding how you approach ambiguity is an good thing to know about yourself. When you’re feeling scared or anxious or confused or overwhelmed, the best thing you can do is find your territory. The place you go to make sense of the world. The closed feedback loop that brings you back to center. For me, writing is…

“Tell a story that makes them proud to take the first step.” I’ve been asked about my nametag over than fifty-thousand times in the past fourteen years. And whenever someone brings it up, I’m always conflicted. On one hand, I so badly want to be heard, so desperately want my life to have witness and meaning, that my first instinct is to vomit all over them. To launch right into my…

“Love is easier to experience before is has been explained.” Courthouses aren’t exactly romantic. Most of them are cold, sterile, boring government buildings that smell like old paper and make you feel itchy. Then again, it all depends on what you’re doing there. And who you’re doing it with. And why. A week before our wedding, we were required to go to the courthouse to get legally married, since…

“Songs you have to sneak up on like a rare bird.” Creativity is a negotiation. A conversation between art and artist. A battle between resistance and expression. And it’s an exchange that requires a certain amount of coaxing. No matter how swiftly and frequently inspiration shows up, many of our best ideas need to be bullied into shape. Recently I was working on a song that would not budge. The melody wasn’t sticking,…

“Let me give that no thought.” I used to have a bad habit of counting my chickens before they hatched. The minute a request would come in about a prospective client, a new project or a potential business opportunity, in my mind, the deal was already done. Sounds great. Count me in. Sign the contract. Put it on the schedule. Tell the world. It’s happening. That’s how I’m wired. Ever since I was…

“The most important skill in success is knowing how and when to switch to a game with better odds for you.” Publishing isn’t a dying industry, it’s a dead one. That’s why I walked away. The marketplace had become overcrowded, incestuous, mediocre and unprofitable. My business had reached a point of diminishing returns. And I knew that if I didn’t opt out to play a bigger game, I would rob…