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Bristling with impatience, we constantly ask ourselves: How long is this going to take?  And without fail, the answer is always the same. Longer than we’d like. The lesson, then, is to stop trying to gain a clear perspective before it’s time. To stop refusing to tolerate the way we progress. And to stop being in such a hurry to move on.  Let the pearl sink, as my therapist…

Rogers hypothesized that the realization of the self was a process.  In his most popular book, which helped pioneer the humanistic psychology movement, he wrote the following.  Accept yourself as a stream of becoming, not a finished product. A person is a fluid process, not a fixed and static entity; a flowing river of change, not a block of solid material; a continually changing constellation of potentialities, not a…

To satisfy our fanatical need for control, we try to force life’s events to unravel and unfold in the manner and time that we designated.  It’s like some kind of jedi mind trick.  Our brains start tossing and turning, crashing and burning, around and around on an endless carousel of compulsive and anxious thoughts, because it make us feel like we’re actually doing something to solve our problems.  We’re…

The biggest emotional red flag is when we think to ourselves: I shouldn’t be feeling this.  It’s the absence of true acceptance. Refusing to give ourselves permission to value our real desires.  Like a child holding his breath as a physical tool of denial for reality.  The goal is to hold ourselves in a more gentle, kind and compassionate way. Which that means we have to abandon expectations about…

Multiple choice problems on standardized tests often present more information than the student actually needs to solve it.  This is not an accident. Testing companies structure exams this way to teach kids how to read problems carefully for all the instructions, key words and hidden clues.  It challenges them to discern relevant information and not disregard anything essential to solving the equation.  However, about four percent of the time,…

Take a moment to find A whole new world is waiting for you this time How bright your wings are With the demands of the head The needs of the wrist And the longing of the heart Whisper worry into my ears Joy follows like a shadow Throw away the empty cobwebs of this goal How bright your wings are With the demands of the head The needs of…

There’s a brilliant documentary that chronicles the hundred year history of propaganda.  How those in power used psychoanalysis to control the dangerous crowd in a age of mass democracy.  In the first act of the movie, there’s a fascinating story about the first president who embraced propaganda. Hoover, standing at the precipice of our nation’s lowest point, articulated the idea that consumerism would become the central motor of our nation’s livelihood. …

Campbell’s investigation of the one great story of mankind theorizes that part of the mythological motif of the hero’s journey is acquiescence.  Because we’re all moving towards death. We have to yield our position to the dynamic.  And so, the hero is simply the one who knows when to surrender and what to surrender to.  In my life, one of the hardest things to surrender to is my own sense of…

The voices in our heads profoundly shape who we believe ourselves to be.  But not always positively. Our internal conversations can be nagging, condemning and even assaultive. And if we don’t understand how to take charge of our brains, we will continue to be scandalized by our own thoughts.  Gregson’s empowering manual on using eastern philosophy to enhance recovery from addiction reminds us that we are easily swayed by…

Here’s the question entrepreneurs are afraid of asking.  Does a lower fee make you more affordable, or less attractive?  Well, it all depends. Because price, like everything else in business, is a story. It’s a narrative that customers tell themselves about value.  That’s the thing about buying. It requires emotional commitment. When people part with money, that transaction affects their expectations and biases and efforts and levels of satisfaction…