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My favorite movies are the films where not much happens except for life itself.  They simply chronicle the way ordinary time unfolds for people. The characters gently drift down a stream of consciousness with no particular direction in mind, without the mechanics of a plot, a dramatic three act structure, a formal narrative arc, an action packed car chase or a predictably grandiose slow clap crescendo that wraps everything…

Productivity researchers warn us that our inability to execute is a result of external distractions.  Mounting emails, buzzing phones, loudmouth coworkers, unscheduled meetings, internet browsing, chaotic environments, cigarette breaks, unexpected visits, pointless meetings, noisy neighbors and gossipy water cooler conversations.  But while these various demands on our attention can certainly sidetracking, scapegoating them for our inability to ship does a disservice to our growth.  Because it exports responsibility. It…

There’s a headline from a satire magazine that legitimately changed the way I think. The words were just so brutally honest, so perfectly hysterical and so terrifyingly close to home, that they couldn’t help but have a profound impact on my philosophy of life.  Man pathetically waiting for that one email that changes everything.  It was the story of my life. Spending a disproportionate amount of time hoping that…

According to the researchers at the international canine cognition center, dogs can learn up to one thousand words, which is roughly the vocabulary of a human toddler.  What’s interesting is, out of all the words dogs know, there’s one in particular that evokes the strongest response. Treat.  Ask anyone who grew up with a dog, and they’ll confirm that the word treat is a secret code for objects and events…

Saying no can be hard, but hearing no can be even harder. That’s the two way street of healthy relationships. To quote the old playground adage;  If you can’t take it, don’t dish it out.  And so, for every time we courageously stand up for ourselves and declare our values, we must also be equally respectful when people announce theirs. Because growing defensive and becoming angry and pretending the…

Foolish enough  To put my whole heart on show And reveal my feelings to the crowd below Foolish enough To set myself on fire just to keep you warm There are not enough pockets in this uniform One joy point for me Find the love that you can never leave Foolish enough Mankind has always crucified And she burned the depth of the spirit survived Open the door Break…

Boundaries are limits that promote integrity and manifest our values.  And so, the boundary setting process is more than saying what doesn’t feel good, it’s also saying what we need, want, enjoy and like.  That’s why boundaries are worth every bit of time and energy and thought required to set and enforce them. Because they express our acceptance of ourselves as people who have real needs. And that’s not…

In the harsh light of hindsight, it’s tempting to curse and kick and berate ourselves for being so naïve.  What the hell was I thinking? How could I have been so spectacularly blind?  Of course, these kinds of questions only imprison us in our embittered histories.  When the reality is, the past is not a problem to be solved, it’s a book to be read. A series of lessons…

Compulsive behaviors initially are about stopping the pain.  But they only create more.  Like reaching for an unhealthy coping mechanism during times of great stress. It’s rarely necessary, often expensive and almost never what we really need to get better. Most of time, it just keeps us stuck in a cloudy fog of denial.  And in my case, a set of orange fingers from my favorite savory snack.  The…

Seinfeld was once asked what the secret to show business success was.  He said the difference maker was hunger. It’s who wants it more.  Of course, that’s also the great paradox of life. We can mess up something because we want it too much. By overextending ourselves to make something happen, we actually stop it from happening.  There’s a balance. Loving the labor, but not living for the fruit….