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When I published my first book as a fresh faced, unknown author, my initial print run was three thousand copies.  That was a lot.  Not only did I have to borrow money from my parents to underwrite production, but I also had to store most of my inventory in their basement.  But little did I know at the time, the average book in this country only sells maybe a…

The hard part about asking for what we need is, we must first be aware of what our needs actually are.  And before that, we must believe that we are entitled to express those needs.  And even before that, we must accept ourselves as people who even have needs in the first place.  Such a complicated issue. Especially when your personality style is conflict avoidant and peace making and people…

Relaxing doesn’t necessarily mean taking a long nap.  It simply means doing things that calm and soothe your mind, body and soul.  Like my meditation teacher once said, relaxation is a native plant that grows in your own backyard.  In fact, the word relax simple means to loosen and become less formal and decrease tension.  The goal, then, is to engage in relaxation activities that are uniquely appealing to us. Whatever…

When we’re feeling troubled, we assume that our pain will last forever.  Peace of mind appears to be gone for good, and any victories we achieved by facing and conquering our problems in the past are forgotten like a bad dream.  That’s the curse of negativity. It stops us from loving ourselves. It keeps us from believing that there is a tomorrow that can turn it all around.  When…

My mentor loves to tell the story about his first job right out of the army.  Honolulu’s military base had a job opening that was perfect for him. The opportunity was too good to pass up.  After a few weeks of interviewing, he got the job, relocated his family to the tropics and started a new life on the island.  What’s interesting is how he described the experience twenty…

We’re all addicted to a certain image of ourselves.  And that’s why we go to great lengths to preserve what we consider to be our identity.  Because it’s the racket we think we’re winning with. It’s the asset that got us where we are, and why give that up?  But the thing we forget is, each of us is a constantly evolving and unfolding process. There is no such…

Confucius famously said that when you find a job you love, you’ll never work a day in your life.  But for workaholics, it’s actually quite the opposite.  When you find a job you love, you work every day of your life.  And that’s the problem. It doesn’t feel like work. And so, the reasonable story you tell yourself is that it’s okay to work long hours because you love what you…

Something is admirable to me when I know that I couldn’t do it.  That’s how I feel when I see person with a lot of talent.  But additionally, something is also admirable to me when I know that I wouldn’t do it.  Because I see a person with a lack of fear. That’s not an insignificant thing. It’s a very different form of social currency than talent, one that…

I have a colleague who spent twenty years in the marketing department of a global telecommunications company.  Part of his job wad dealing with marketing agencies on a daily basis. And in many cases, he would watch his budget and business objectives take a back seat to that agency’s enthusiasm to make their mark creatively.  It’s no wonder he went on to start his own firm and land clients…

Altman’s book on living kindness reminds us that true generosity does not leave us feeling cheated, elated or superior, but joyful and alive in the giving moment.  That passage was especially painful for me to read. Because I’ve been guilty of misguided generosity on a several occasions.  Years ago, I gave a sizable amount of money to someone to use for a down payment on her house. All the while,…