I once heard a psychotherapist offer a brilliant piece of advice for connecting with people who are suffering from depression, anxiety or any other battle inside the mind.
Instead of hitting people over the head with your brilliant insight, do everything in your power to let them know you’re not afraid of them. That’s fierce intimacy. Letting them know that their suffering is not a contagious disease you’re going to catch. Being present to them in a way that shows your trust in their confidence to make it through.
It’s a highly progressive approach to navigating interpersonal space. One that most of us aren’t using to practicing.
Because instead of our typical codependent, competitive reaction, which is to help and fix and fight and solve, we actually make room for the pain of others instead of running from it.
We give others the gift of space to express themselves completely. We let them cry without turning away from their tears. And we offer those around us full freedom to express their anger without walking away or rejecting them.
That’s the person you want in you corner when everything goes to hell. Somebody brave enough to live with your terror.
Somebody you can’t use as your one phone call in jail, because they’re sitting in the cell right next to you.
LET ME ASK YA THIS...
What do you see when you see people?
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That Guy with the Nametag
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