Blog

Boredom is a beautiful thing.  It’s a necessary part of balance that keeps our brains sharp and keeps our souls hungry.  But when our days are filled with too much formlessness, too many empty spaces and thundering silences and social voids and three day stretches where we don’t even use our mouths and interact with other human beings, that’s a recipe for sadness.  Schumer’s memoir on her journey as…

Thanks to our brain’s inherent negativity bias, it’s easier to notice what makes something suck than to see what makes it great.  But that brief exposure to what we don’t want to can create a powerful energy source that can be channeled into positive executional directions.  That’s why occasionally listening to shit music and reading bad books and seeing dreadful plays is a useful endeavor. In the moment it…

When the housekeeper knocks on the hotel room door, and we politely decline turn down service, that’s setting a boundary.  It’s a minor moment, but it’s representative of a macro issue.  Not taking responsibility for other people’s emotions. Overcoming the terror of potentially disappointing others and looking selfish in the process.  And so, even if there is a pang in the pit of our stomachs because we think we’ve offended the…

Ethel’s groundbreaking psychiatry research argues that human fantasy should be understood as one of our major modes of adaptation. That the culture shouldn’t make us pay a terrible price for the things we imagine.  After all, at the heart of every fantasy is a germ of frustration and, therefore, a desire for change. And so, the force of fantasy can transmute our visions into personal healing and even world changing actualities. …

Having healthy boundaries means learning to face other people’s reality with maturity, respect and understanding.  Even if it’s painful.  Here are a few examples that have been a struggle for me over the years, both personally and professional.  Instead of ignoring someone’s flagrant signs of disinterest, accept whatever relationship people are comfortable having with you.  Instead of chasing people who clearly don’t want to be with you, accept that…

Scaling may lead to greater distribution, broader impact and higher profits.  But when you scale, you’re likely to dilute quality and destroy your ability to work on the razor’s edge and lose that unique personal thing that made you successful in the first place.  A talent manager once emailed me and asked, what are your scaling aspirations?  Um, they don’t exist? Look, I was burned out enough going it…

Whatever you think makes you an outsider, is precisely what makes you valuable.  Truth is, you are uniquely qualified. Something has prepared you to come into this world hardwired. Even more than you know. Your distinctive life experience has equipped you with a valuable perspective that few people have, but all people need. Which means you have a vital role to play in this world.  You have a real…

Most standardized testing manuals tell students the same strategy.  Don’t try to do all the work in your head.  Thinking a great place to start, but after a while, more thinking equals less doing. You’re stuck in the paralysis of analysis. And it’s not the healthiest emotional state for solving the problem.  Only by writing your ideas down, the test prep experts say, do you avoid making careless errors…

Anger management has been a field of study since day one.  Maybe before then.  Seneca and other philosophers have been offering advice for countering uncontrollable rage for the past two thousand years.  But what’s interesting is, people don’t need more resources for anger management. Because anger is a defensive feeling that protects another feeling. It’s just a roadmap to our real emotions. Which, the majority of the time, are grounded…

Wiesel, the award winning author, professor and concentration camp survivor, is famous for saying that the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference.  What’s interesting is, anytime we’re on the receiving end of that sentiment, it can be transformed into gifts of deeper understanding and empathy.  Knowing how we feel when we’re treated invisibly and indifferently helps us not to overlook others in the future.  This happens to me in…