Beware the cut of subtle unkindness

August 16, 2018 11:42 AM

Just because we’re not visibly harsh to each other, doesn’t mean we’re not hurting each other.

The cut of subtle unkindness is insidious, and if we’re not careful, each of those tiny little nicks can add up and translate into serious relationship problems.

Every time I walk past a couple hashing it out in public, I always walk away confused. Not about the fact that people have conflict, but the fact that people are so unkind and mean to each other in the process.

Look, we all get mad and hurt and scared and stressed. There are no wrong feelings. Each of us should cherish the variety of our emotions, even if they don’t make sense to us.

But that’s not license to be unkind to each other.

Consider several ways in which people practice subtle unkindness toward each other.

Saying no to the little things they ask of each other.

Speaking with an irritable edge to our voices.

Giving orders instead of making requests.

Making joking but belittling comments.

Contradicting each other in public.

Who among us isn’t guilty of at least one item on that list?

Proving, that we all probably have some remedial kindness work to do. We all need practice giving high priority to each other’s needs and wishes.

And so, next time you walk past a fighting couple in the street, before you judge them for being stuck in the emotional crossfire, ask yourself where you might be acting subtly unkind in your own life.

Because all love is saying yes to something.

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