The World is a Mirror, Part 6

July 14, 2006 10:30 AM

A is for ATTITUDE
B is for BREAK PATTERNS
C is for CONSISTENCY
D is for DISCIPLINE
E is for EVOLUTION
F is for FRIENDLINESS

Friendly always wins.

Cheesy? Maybe. But it’s true. It’s not possible to go wrong with friendliness.

It’s also not possible to max out on friendliness. You can always increase it. And I only say that because after all these years of wearing a nametag to make other people friendlier, a major improvement I’ve noticed in my life is: I’ve actually become friendlier myself.

I’m tellin ya, this stuff works. The moment you boost your friendliness is the moment you experience the follow payoffs:

People are rarely mean to you.
I’ve seen the meanest people in the world do complete 180’s because of friendliness. This reminds me of Tim Sanders’ book The Likability Factor. His research proves that you should never allow yourself to communicate unfriendliness as a first step because, as a social reflex, people will generally reciprocate your friendliness (or lack thereof).

Your cool factor goes up.
A Canadian University did a study on the link between friendliness and “coolness.” They based their findings on a survey of 800 respondents — mostly twentysomething university students — who were asked to rate on a scale of one to seven — one being uncool, and seven being very cool — the coolness of 90 adjectives. They then asked the same respondents to rate the same 90 adjectives according to their social desirability. And what they found was a strong correlation between the two. In other words, the qualities that make one socially desirable — being friendly, fair, thoughtful and kind — were also what makes one cool — at least in the minds of about 60 per cent of participants.

Stress is reduced.
Just like you, I’ve missed flights, lost luggage, received bad service, been cut off in traffic or been knocked into in the middle of a crowded bar. Now, because I’m human, my natural reaction is to get upset. But I don’t. I always catch a glimpse of that little nametag in the corner of my eye before I yell, “Watch where you’re going jerk,” and I’m reminded to act friendly. In 2,080 days, I’ve rarely become SO pissed off to the point of yelling or complaining. Instead, I’ve learned to react patiently and, most importantly, friendly. It’s never steered me wrong. And I’m sure it’s reduced my overall stress level.

The point is, even the nicest person in the world can still become friendlier. The benefits are scientifically based and 100% true.

This stuff works. Friendly always wins.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
In what area of your life could you be friendlier?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
Think of the friendliest person you know: are people mean to them? Are they cool? Are they stressed?

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
Author/Speaker/That Guy with the Nametag

Do you want to be That Guy?