When we see with our grown up eyes that this is it

November 30, 2018 2:40 PM

Expecting to get what you want isn’t optimism, it’s immaturity.

That’s one of the worst pains of growing up and becoming an adult. Learning to face reality. Making friends with what is. And not allowing yourself to be seduced by childish thoughts about that reality, simply because they’re more comforting.

It reminds me of a compelling question from a book about interpersonal communication.

Can you name the stress that brings you to your lowest level of maturity?

Meaning, what kind of experience shrinks you into the adolescent version of yourself? What situation or interaction makes you want to pout about not getting your way, take your toys and go home?

For me, it’s not being taken seriously. If you want to watch me melt into the most juvenile version of myself, all you have to do is not appreciate or even acknowledge the heart and soul that I have put into something.

As a fundamentally thoughtful, earnest and enthusiastic person, that gets me every time.

But the lesson adulthood keeps trying to teach me is, try not to react with your first impulse. Don’t indulge your petulance when you don’t get what you want. If you hear the sound of crickets, allow yourself to feel those shitty feelings of not being heard, but at the same time, don’t expect others to reciprocate your enthusiasm. It’s not their job.

That’s merely one step in sculpting a vision of what a mature human being is like. Learning to face reality with maturity, instead of addicting yourself to the childish opiate of expectation.

If we can master that skill, perhaps we will finally become the adults we have only pretended to be for so long.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…