Unless they are more like you, you can’t love them

All human conflict has its root around the same question:

What can’t you be more like me?

But the irony is, that’s the last thing you would ever want. Because if everyone was like you, that would be a nightmare.

Can you imagine if all the employees at your company started thinking and acting the same way as you did? You would quit your job by lunch.

Or what if your spouse suddenly woke up one morning holding your exact same preferences and opinions? You would be divorced by dinner.

Point being, the world is overpopulated enough, it doesn’t need a clone of you. Don’t set up a toxic pattern for yourself. You’ll end up resenting people for not morphing into miniature versions of you.

The healthier and more life giving practice would be to practicing giving and receiving love without trying to project your autobiography onto everyone your meet. Trusting that who they already are is enough for us.

Deida writes about this in his insightful book about romantic relationships:

Both men and woman demand the other be more like themselves. And the message is, unless you are more like me, I can’t love you. But in order to give love to one another, they must meet in the common ground of the heart.

This type of connection requires compromise and humility and surrender, but it’s worth the price of not feeling resentful at each other.

In a world where it’s already hard enough for people to be themselves, don’t give them additional homework trying to become like us too.

Love them in ways they only dream of being loved, by loving them exactly wherever they are.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Who are you still trying to make just like you?