A label that is more toxic than useful

In an increasingly fragmented world, we all try to build reliable identities for ourselves.

It reinforces our sense of a stable self. It makes us feel special and in control. After all, who wouldn’t want their individuality celebrated rather than crushed?

No wonder wearing a nametag every day is so much fun.

But the interesting thing is, there are certain times when you’d rather not have any label. Because that’s actually far more accurate than trying to find the perfect word for everyone to call you just so they have a convenient portfolio of ideas for how to classify your way of thinking.

Reminds me of a fascinating interview with a multiracial, ethnically ambiguous standup comedian who says audiences are always asking him to justify his background to them.

His theory was, people want to know who you are so they know how to hate you. They need the label so they can put you in a tidy box and decide which words you can and can’t say, which ideas you can and can’t have.

From that perspective, not having a label sounds like winning a tiny little lottery. Considering that labeling causes people to make all sorts of unflattering and untrue and unfair assumptions, and considering the world is dead set on pinning all of us down into a single category, it sure would be nice to not be anything for once.

Maybe then we might finally catch a glimpse of the unnamable.

The other side of the identity coin is, we’re not supposed to be one thing in life. Most people require multiple identities.

And so, there’s nothing wrong with wearing diverse labels to celebrate the many parts of our humanity. The world is a big enough place for each of us to be fully human.

Fox wrote in his provocative book about pretentiousness that people’s mainstream identities are themselves an act, not a fact of nature.

That’s helpful to remember. Because all of us, at some point or another, will experience our own identity moorings temporarily loosening.

And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Shedding off our identity like old skin, it’s cleansing and liberating.

And it makes room for a new layer to grow.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
What label used to describe you has become more toxic than useful?