This sounds like a job for boundary man

Have you ever allowed someone else’s behavior to determine how you experience your own day?

It can be disastrous. One minute you’re calmly doing your work, enjoying the workday. And then your tornado of a coworker storms into the office and starts venting about his psycho model roommate who stares over his bed at night, and before you know it, your heart is racing and you’re clenching your jaw like a maniac.

When you give anyone that kind of power over how you feel, emotionally, physically or otherwise, it is a failure of boundaries. And it doesn’t mean you can’t be compassionate to people’s struggle, nor does it mean that everyone should feel happy all of the time.

But there is a constant barrage of relentlessly harrowing information we’re exposed to on a daily basis. Hundreds of thousands of bits of data and stimuli and noise are coming at us faster than our constitutions can handle.

And if we don’t set limits on the degree to which that energy negative affects us, we only have ourselves to blame.

Our yoga teacher puts it best:

If someone steals our peace, we are the losers.

My daily practice is, when in doubt, physically remove yourself. Either by getting up and walking out of the proximity of the other person, or by putting on headphones and turning the volume up to eleven.

Whatever it takes to create a safe space for yourself, replenish your energy and regain a sense of ownership.

And if people have a problem with it, that’s fine. Let them have whatever feelings they want about your boundaries.

Surrender your façade of politeness and do what you have to do. 

To whom have you handed over control of your energy?


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Author. Speaker. Strategist. Songwriter. Filmmaker. Inventor. Gameshow Host. World Record Holder. I also wear a nametag 24-7. Even to bed.
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