Tag: employee motivation

When you walk out of a room, how does it change?

Five words that will change your business forever:

“Who was that masked man?”

Name that show!

Of course: The Lone Ranger. Even a Gen-Xer like me knows that.

And just imagine. Wouldn’t it be cool if customers said something like that after YOU left?

Curiosity. Intrigue. Fascination. Amazement.

That’s what those five words represent. The Lone Ranger was so cool, so unforgettable, and so distinctive that when he left, people wanted more.

SO, HERE’S THE BIG QUESTION: When you walk out of a room, how does it change?

HERE’S THE SECRET: Whatever change occurs to the room is a tangible representation of how your character, actions, words, reputation and personality have been experienced by the people around you.

The following list explores several possibilities of how a room might change when you walk out of it. As you explore these examples, ask yourself which of them best applies to you, or which ones you’d LIKE to apply to you:

1. When you walk out of a room, are people genuinely sad to see you go? In a 2009 Daily Show interview with Michael J. Fox, Jon Stewart wrapped the conversation up with the following compliment, “Michael, when you walk into a room, everybody feels better.” Wow. Sure is inspiring to see someone have that kind of affect on people. And I imagine that if YOU did, your career would surely skyrocket.

Unfortunately, some individuals are the opposite: Everybody feels better when they walk OUT of a room. And the silent dialogue becomes, “I’m so glad she finally left,” “I thought she’d NEVER leave!” or, worst of all, “Thank God that guy’s gone. Now we can relax.”

This is not good. If your leaving the room results in people’s postures relaxing as they breathe a hefty sigh of relief, you’re doing something wrong. If your leaving the room allows people to (finally) resume their conversations, you’re doing something wrong. Do you bring drama or peace into people’s lives?

2. When you walk out of a room, does the population of that room decrease? That’s the epitome of leadership: People want to walk out of the room and follow you, even if they have no idea where you’re going. That’s also a surefire sign of presence: People just assume go home now that you’ve left the party.

Because you’re inspiring. Because you’re trustworthy. Because you’re fun to talk to. And because you’re followable. I wonder what you would have to think, say, do or BE differently in order to make that happen. How are you leaving an imprint on everyone you meet?

3. When you walk out of a room, does the temperature go up five degrees? This reminds me of SNL’s Debbie Downer, brilliantly played by Rachel Dratch. Her cynical character’s sole purpose was to interrupt social gatherings to voice negative opinions and pronouncements. She immediately sucked the energy level out of the room like a Hoover vacuum. And ever time she did so; the classic “Wa-Wa” trumpet sound effect would play.

Are you like that? Someone who persistently adds bad news or negative feelings to a gathering, thus bringing down the mood of everyone around you? I hope not. Because Debbie Downers are avoided like the plague. And when they walk out of a room, people are GLAD to see them go. Because negatively rarely looks good on anybody. What is the temperature of your presence?

4. When you walk out of a room, do people ask about you? This brings us back to The Lone Ranger. His departure stimulated curiosity, intrigue, fascination and amazement. Now, obviously you can’t expect to achieve such memorable presence every time you leave a room. What you CAN do is increase the probability of people asking about you by practicing tenets of approachability.

First: Be The Observed, not The Observer.
Second: Create Points of Dissonance.
Third: Position yourself as a resource.
And fourth: Build Name Equity.

No silver bullets, horses or sidekicks necessary. Are you buzz-worthy?

5. When you walk out of a room, does it get quieter? Meet my friend Neen James. She’s a productivity consultant, originally from Australia. And while it’s hard to explain in writing, she has the most contagious, smile-inducing laugh you’ll ever hear. She’s also the type of person who can find humor in anything.

So, when you’re hanging out with her, you get to hear that famous laugh A LOT. Which, in turn, makes you laugh more. Which makes her laugh more. Which makes you laugh more. And the endless cycle of fun begins. Combine that with Neen’s optimistic, no-worries attitude and upbeat energy, when SHE walks out of the room, the volume goes from eleven to six. Like clockwork. Which makes sense, since she IS a productivity consultant. How fun are you pereceived as being?

6. When you walk out of a room, how do you leave people? Maybe people start taking action. This means you were inspiring, interesting and actionable. Maybe people swim in mutual confusion of having no idea what the hell you just said. This means you need to speak with more Meaningful Concrete Immediacy.

Or, maybe people spring to life. This means you spoke in a passionate, challenging and empowering manner. The choice is yours. How do you leave people?

7. When you walk out of a room, are new people connected that otherwise wouldn’t have met? Networkers work the room. They deal their deck of business cards to everyone they encounter in a superficial, flaky, campaign-trail way. They’re spotted from a mile away and reek of the stench of self-centered overexertion.

Connectors, on the other hand, help the room work itself. They find people that need to meet, use accomplishment-based introductions, and then get the heck out of the way. But here’s the catch: They can only be spotted from up close. Because that’s the nature of their relationships: Close. That’s how people are draw to them: Close. Are you networking or connecting?

8. When you walk out of a room, does your spirit remain? Lastly, this suggests you don’t just want people to remember you, but to be positively influenced BY you. “Noticeable in your absence,” as I like to say. And the ideal situation is, people will start to patiently and excitedly wait until they are given the privilege of being blessed with your presence again.

Not because you’re always perfect. Not because you’re always in performance mode. Rather, because you always make people feel essential by helping them fall in love with themselves. How do YOU leave people?

REMEMBER: If your presence makes a difference, your absence will make a difference too.

Ultimately, it’s not about being the life of the party – it’s about bringing other people TO life AT the party.

It’s about leaving behind a silver bullet trail of uncracked character that makes people wonder, “Who was that masked man?”

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
When you walk out of a room, how does it change?

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
For the list called, “19 Ways to be the ONE Person at Your Next Conference Everybody Remembers,” send an email to me, and you win the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

Need to build your Thought Leadership Platform?

Perhaps my monthly (or yearly) coaching program would help.

Rent Scott’s Brain today!

6 Ways to be More Followable Than Ashton Kutcher on Twitter

“Why doesn’t anybody follow me on Twitter? This sucks!”

Wait a sec. Holster your finger there, buster.

LET ME ASK YA THIS: Have you considered the possibility that you’re not a followable person?

Ouch. Maybe that’s the real problem.

HERE’S THE REALITY: Whatever leadership role you hold – teacher, boss, blogger, tweeter, pastor or parent – being approachable is about increasing the probability that people will follow you.

And by “follow you” I mean that people will listen TO, learn FROM and be inspired BY you.

Here are six ways to become more followable TODAY:

1. Help people fall in love with themselves. First, by falling in love with YOUR self. This allows people to see firsthand what it’s like when someone honors their Truth. And that experience is inspiring because it grants people permission to do (and BE) the same.

Also, remember that being a followable person is about how people experience themselves when they’re with you. So, make them feel better off having communicated with you. Pinpoint the beauty that they’re too close to themselves to taste.

That’s what being an inspirational person is: Breathing into people a reflection of their awesomeness. How are people changed after having a conversation with you? Are people diminished, unaffected, or enlarged after their encounter with you? And what would happen if everyone who walked away from you was inspired to lead with her truth more frequently?

2. Learn by what you have LIVED, then teach people. Followable people know that orthodoxy (the right beliefs) is exponentially more powerful that orthopraxy (the right practices). After all: People aren’t inspired to follow you because of what they HEAR you SAY consistently – only what they SEE you DO consistently.

So, followable people don’t practice what they preach – they preach what they practice. In the words of my inspiring friend/mentor Jim Henderson: “Action changes everything. We need to major in practices and minor in principles. Practices are attitudes that translate directly into actions.”

If you want to increase the probability of people following you, try this: Do something first, THEN tell people about. Do something first, THEN tell people what you learned. Do something first, THEN challenge people to do the same. Is the message you’re preaching the dominant reality of your life? How deep is the gap between your onstage performance and your backstage reality? And how inspiring is someone who just believes a bunch of stuff, yet takes no action?

3. Make certain people regularly experience you in your element. Windsurfing. Baking. Fixing cars. Solving math problems. Riding horses. Being a Mom. Selling hot dogs to drunken Cardinal fans at the Busch Stadium. Whatever. Pinpoint your natural state of magnificence, and then stay there for as long as you can.

It doesn’t matter what you’re amazing at. When people get the chance to see you being you, doing what you do best, it will always be inspirational. And it will be impossible for them to escape your awesomeness. How could you not follow someone like that?

The secret is to seek out situations that vividly reveal your passions, and then made sure LOTS of people are watching. Do that and they WILL come with you. How often are you in your element? How often is there at least one person watching? And how are you constantly expanding your platform on which to display your gifts?

4. Marinate people in your world. Give them insight into how you operate. Show them how you think. Take them on a tour of You Land. Then, while you’re there, show them that you feel sufficiently complete and whole within yourself. Slowly, this will allow that same space to open up in them.

Then, they will experience themselves as being better, stronger and more beautiful by virtue of your inspirational presence. And that will enable them to follow you. When people listen to your life, what do they hear? What do people get when they get you? And how many people regularly see the most inspirational aspect of your life?

5. Pepper in ordinariness. One of the problems with so-called “inspirational” people is that they’re completely unrelatable. No disrespect to Oprah, but come on. Nobody can relate to her. I don’t care how “regular” she claims to be on her show. Oprah is a cyborg from planet Zoltar, and she does not live in a world of reality.

Therefore: Unless you regularly exert your ordinariness, people wall have a hard time following you. There must be a balance between being admirable; yet relatable. Not being utterly boring; yet not being terminally unique. How well do you merge ordinariness with remarkability? Do the people you follow and listen to ever screw up? Doesn’t it make you want to follow them more when they do?

6. Stick yourself out there. Ultimately, leaders ante up first. They take the first step to inspire others to do the same. So, try this exercise: Think of five people that YOU follow. Or listen to. Or allow yourself to be influenced by. On a scale of 1-10, how willing to risk were those people? My guess: Very. Because that’s what inspirational people do – they stick themselves out there.

In the words of my inspiring, followable colleague, David “Rise to the Top” Garland, “Inspiration correlates with risk. Those that take (some sort of) risk are perceived as inspirational because they’re just regular people who did something remarkable.”

That’s the cool part. We’re not just talking about physical risk like bungee jumping or wearing a Cowboys jersey to an Eagles game. Sticking yourself out there is an emotional risk. It’s about walking your truth in a world of mostly fiction. And that’s what inspires people to walk THEIR Truth right behind you. What risks are you comfortable taking? What truth are you ready to live? And what dream in you that could inspire others would cause you deep regret if you never took the risk to go for it?

REMEMBER: You can’t make people follow you.

All you can do is increase the probability by making yourself more followable.

Do that, and people will listen TO, learn FROM and be inspired BY you.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How are you making yourself more followable?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “7 Ways to Radically Raise Receptivity of Those You Serve,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

Never the same speech twice.
Always about approachability.

Watch The Nametag Guy in action here!

How to Kiss Your Leader of the Year Award Goodbye

We’ve been exploring the impending dangers of unapproachable leaders in part 1 and part 2 of this three-part series.

Today, let’s finish up with a collection of practical strategies to circumvent a few more of those dangers. Specifically, how people feel walking away from you:

1. When you’re unapproachable, people walk away with self-esteem damage. Because when you don’t respond objectively, openly and curiously to their ideas, people feel less intelligent after talking to you.

Eventually, they find themselves not wanting to talk to you. And sadly, people will almost feel at peace or relieved if they haven’t talked to you in a while. All because you never took the time to consider “how you leave people.”

QUESTION: What invisible walls have your close-minded attitudes built?
STRATEGY: Learn how to leave a positive imprint on everyone you meet.

2. When you’re unapproachable, people walk away feeling deflated. And they’ll feel that things are hopeless after being around you. This corrodes motivation and hampers commitment. Which lowers their performance. Which heightens animosity. Which makes loyalty vanish. Yikes.

QUESTION: How often do you inspire people to inspire themselves?
STRATEGY: Help people fall in love with themselves by practicing Namaste.

3. When you’re unapproachable, people walk away emotionally numb. Because they were never given permission to relax, be their true selves and exert their distinctiveness. They were forced into compliance. They were haphazardly labeled ENFJ and then stored in a nice little, predictable box. This is what happens if people feel constantly judged by you.

Or if you take issue or ague with everything they say. They perceive your value system to be SO opposed that your ego won’t allow you to listen to them. Eventually, they won’t bother approaching you at all. And that’s when you, as a leader, miss out on their valuable ideas, opportunities and feedback.

QUESTION: How often do you overlook people who might offer meaningful ideas?
STRATEGY: Learn the difference between exploration and accusation.

4. People will walk away feeling devalued. Especially if you didn’t monopolize the listening and make them feel essential. And eventually, they might start asking themselves, “Why do I even bother talking to him anyway?”

QUESTION: How do people experience themselves in relation to you?
STRATEGY: Learn how to make people feel essential.

5. People walk aware worse. Kind of the opposite of the outdoor rule, “Leave the camp sight better than the way you found it.” In this case, people are in a bad mood after being around you.

Which kind of makes them NOT want to be around you very often. And, when they ARE around you, it results in curt communication underscored by a lack of mindfulness because all they’re thinking about his how badly they want the conversation to be over.

QUESTION: Are people diminished, unaffected, or enlarged after their encounter with you?
STRATEGY: Decide how you would like people to experience you.

6. When you’re unapproachable, people walk away having missed opportunities for growth. Without mental flexibility and openness, here’s what happens: People stop learning, which means people stop growing, which means people start dying. Yikes. Not good for business.

QUESTION: How do you add value to people?
STRATEGY: Become a Value Adding Machine by learning the two most important words for listening louder: Take notes.

REMEMBER: The only judgment your people can (honestly) make about you is how interacting with you makes them FEEL.

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter if YOU think you’re approachable – it only matters if you’re perceived and remembered as being approachable by the people you serve.

If not, I guarantee your organization WILL suffer.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How is being unapproachable hurting your organization?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “7 Ways to Radically Raise Receptivity of Those You Serve,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

Never the same speech twice.
Always about approachability.

Watch The Nametag Guy in action here!

What is affecting your ability to be taken seriously?

I know this guy named Dalton.

I wouldn’t say we’re friends, but we’ve met a few times. We tend to speak at some of the same conferences. And I happen to think he’s pretty good, even though his style is much different than my own.

Still, I’ll never forget the day when I overheard one of his audience members tell her friend, “You know, with that mullet, I’ve always had a hard time taking Dalton seriously.”

Wow.

What about YOU? What is affecting YOUR ability to be taken seriously?

Consider these six questions to make sure people don’t tune you out:

1. What causes YOU to (not) take someone seriously? Here’s a revealing exercise you might noodle with: (1) Make a list of three people you’ve never taken seriously, (2) Write down what, specifically, causes you to feel that way, and (3) Ask yourself if you embody any of those attributes.

Your lack of self-awareness may startle you. As Ken Shelton, founder and editor of Executive Excellence Magazine said, “With a little self-deception, we might believe that we are number one when in fact we’re not even on the charts.”

REMEMBER: Self-awareness creates options.

2. How might you be accidentally diminishing the perception of your expertise? My pal Robert Bradford, founder of The Center for Simplified Strategic Planning, once told me that every time you add a comma to the description of what you do, you suck a little bit more.

What about you? Are you positioning yourself as an expert in seventeen different areas? Are you spreading yourself too thin? Maybe people would take you more seriously if you picked a lane.

REMEMBER: Periods, not commas.

3. What’s your system for keeping yourself constantly relevant? Your customers, audience members, listeners and readers want to know what you’ve done for them lately. They want to know what you learned yesterday.

Your challenge is to create a game plan that keeps new wisdom coming through a revolving door. For example, I read five books a week. That’s one of the (many) ways I stay relevant.

REMEMBER: If you’re not current, you’re not credible.

4. What are you unconsciously doing that’s marring your credibility? The word “credibility” comes from the Latin creditum, which means, “a loan, thing entrusted to another.” That’s interesting. Credibility is on loan. Which means your credibility might take years to assemble, but only seconds to annihilate.

I’d spend some time thinking about situations in which your perception of other people’s credibility diminished. Then ask yourself if you’re mirroring any such behaviors in your own world.

REMEMBER: Credibility diminishes quickly.

5. How unquestionable is your knowledge base? When it comes to your area of expertise, you need to be able to talk forever. Period. In order to make that happen, my first suggestion is to make sure that everything you know is written down somewhere. Everything.

After all, if you don’t write it down – it never happened. Plus, when you write it down, you make it sound. My second suggestion is that you read 500 books about your topic. Simple as that. Thirdly, constantly search for and dissect new dimensions to your area of expertise. This enables you to answer any question, any time, about any area of your subject.

REMEMBER: Experts charge more.

6. What are you doing, saying or being that’s making you unlistenable? I’ve written extensively on the topic of being a listenable leader and becoming the most listenable person you know. And here’s what I’ve learned: Listenable people are taken seriously. Period.

So, here’s a rapid list of practices for doubling your listenability: Listen first. Pamper the short-term memory. Be funny early and often. Articulate strategy and ideas in plain language. Create a zone of respect around you without being overbearing. When it’s a technical matter, (still) speak English. Communicate reasons for changes and decisions. And of course, always speak with MCI, or Meaningful Concrete Immediacy.

REMEMBER: Listenable people are listened to.

In summary, let’s look to Google for a final picture of what it looks like when people don’t take you seriously. I did several searches on the following phrase: “I can’t take her/him/them seriously because…”

The results were astounding. And as you read them, I challenge you to think one last time about what might be causing people to not take YOU seriously:

“I can’t take her/him/them seriously because…”

o “…They can’t walk their talk.” Is your integrity in tact?
o “…He tries too hard to be evil.” Are you overexerting?
o “…There’s nothing real here at stake.” Are you relevant?
o “…I’m so used to them another way.” Are you a chameleon?
o “…I feel she’s too preachy these days.” Are you Billy Graham?
o “…They don’t take their work seriously.” Are you serious enough?
o “…They taken themselves TOO seriously.” Are you self-important?
o “…They change their minds about everything.” Are you wishy-washy?
o “…We are too busy laughing at their stupidity.” Are you an idiot?
o “…They are so obviously just seeking attention.” Are you waiting to be noticed?

“I can’t take her/him/them seriously because…”

o “…She, herself, has done worse things than me.” Are you a poor role model?
o “…She looks like a guest on the Jerry Springer show.” Are you dressed professionally?
o “…80% of the pictures out there of her have her in a bikini.” What happens when someone does a Google image search on your name?
o “…All of the effects and style is so old-fashioned looking to me.” Are you a dinosaur?
o “…When I listen to her try to make her points, I feel like I’m watching a PTA meeting.” Are you boring?
o “…If they were half as smart as they claimed, they’d be able to make their points or get rich without having to hurt people.” Are you compensating?
o “…It’s just shtick, and when she actually says, “No, I’m dead serious,” we still can’t take her seriously because that too is just more shtick.” Do you have substance to support your shtick?
o “…They give me powdered creamers or tiny plastic cream packets soaking in a tub of what used to be ice that’s now melted into grey, dirty water that people have been dipping their dirty hands in.” Are you gross?

REMEMBER: People won’t take you seriously if they’re too busy questioning you.

Especially if you have a mullet.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
What is affecting your ability to be taken seriously?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “37 Personal Leadership Questions Guaranteed to Shake Your Soul,” send an email to me, and you win the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

Never the same speech twice.
Always about approachability.

Watch The Nametag Guy in action here!

How do I approach the office bully?

Every science class you’ve ever taken in your life will confirm the following biological truism:

What feeds, grows. What starves, dies.

The secret is to show bullies that you’re not an easy target. Ideally, they’ll eventually become tired and move on.

If you don’t, taking their bait is letting them get away with it. Growing up with an older brother, I can attest to that.

Bullies want attention and a reaction from you. And if you don’t give it to them, they can’t win. Because reactions feed mean people. That’s what they want.

So, instead of getting sucked into their vortex, consider these suggestions:

1. Preface and reciprocate. An excellent technique from The Verbal Art of Self-Defense is to say, “OK, let’s talk about this. You go first and I won’t interrupt. Then when you’re done, I’ll see if I have any questions.” Wow.

2. Ask for clarity. This will frustrate the person who relies on clouding every interaction to feel in control. Try asking, “Can you give me a specific example of that?” Odds are, they can’t.

3. Change the pattern. If you don’t give him the response he expects, you will disrupt his rhythm and break his patterns. This is best way to get someone’s attention. Then, as a result, HE will have to react for once. Ha!

4. Yuk it up. The secret to taking the sting out of potentially threatening remarks is found within your own humor. Especially when it’s used in a safe and unassuming way, this keeps you at protective distance that can’t be breached.

For example, if someone comments, “Ginsberg, you’re such an idiot! You can’t do anything right! What do you have to say for yourself?” you might respond, “Oh, you’re just jealous…” or, if you prefer a more extreme response, “Hey! It’s not my fault my mother ‘experimented’ with crack while she was pregnant with me!”

Such humorous comments prevent the launch of your biochemical “fight or flight” stress response. Most importantly, they allow you to remain in control, to remain intelligent and to preserve the dignity others will attempt to take away.

5. Don’t show a tolerance for interruptions. Get people back on track by counting behaviors and making them aware of their conversational narcissism. Here’s a handy guide I published about how to handle the office interrupter.

6. Remember that clueless people don’t want to see clues. Jerks are defensive, and being defensive means they’re afraid of letting new ideas into their mind. The secret is to drop hints, not bombs. Introduce clues slowly and give them time to respond.

7. Reframe their nastiness. In the book How to Make Piece with Anyone, author David Lieberman suggests the following language: “Thanks for telling me. Most people would be afraid to tell me because they think I’d get all upset and defensive. Where did you learn so much about (X)? How would YOU have handled it? You have such great (X) – I wish you’d tell me your secret.”

This response pattern works for several reasons. First, it’s complimentary. And gratitude diffuses defensiveness. Second, it proves that you’re not taking ownership of the other person’s emotions. Third, it appeals to the other person’s ego (which is exactly what they want anyway) by asking for their expertise. Remember: Don’t defend and don’t complain against it.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How do you approach the office bully?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “26 Rapid-Fire Strategies for becoming the Most Approachable Person in Your Organization,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

If they can’t come UP to you; how will they ever get BEHIND you?

Buy Scott’s new book and learn daily practices for becoming a more approachable manager!

Pick up your copy (or a case!) right here.

Nine Ways to Leave a Legacy of Openness

1. Accept bad news without the need for sugarcoating. That way, your people can give it to you straight. They can feel comfortable reporting negative information without the fear of being reamed by your emotional reactivity.

So, if you want this to happen, you have to demonstrate that you support failure. And a great place to start is by sharing a few of your own screw-ups FIRST. Sometimes that’s all the permission people need. Do you respond well to good and bad news?

2. Acknowledge others’ contributions to your worldview. Let people know their thinking has affected you. Here’s how:

(1) Show them the notes you took when you were listening to them
(2) Tell them how you recently quoted them during another conversation
(3) Share with them the insights you’ve stumbled upon after being inspired by something they said.

That should do the trick! Who’s toggling your brain?

3. Allow nothing to be meaningless in your sight. Ideas. Problems. Experiences. And especially people. They’re ALL good to you. They all have value. They all serve a purpose.

Because your attitude is: Everything matters. Everything has meaning. Everyone teaches you. Remember: Unconditional Positive Regard. What do you see when you see people?
4. Allow your stories to be open to new interpretation. When you tell a story, follow these steps. First, pause when you’re finished. Give the people listening to you the space they need to process and contribute.

Next, let feedback in. Listen. Consider new lessons you could have learned from the story. Play with newfound applicability. Then, write these new interpretations down. And thank people for adding value to your experience by saying, “I never would have thought of that!” or “Cool! Another lesson.” Are your stories up for discussion?

5. Ask for time to think about what they have said. This is another great move for making space in the conversation. It also prevents foot in mouth disease by buying you some time to process.

That way you can react less and respond more. What’s more, it builds a sense of curiosity and excitement in the mind of the listener, making you more listenable. Remember: Don’t be so quick to rush into the silence. How do you answer questions?

6. Be a rock people can count on. That means stillness. That means emotional objectivity. That means listening with the ears of your heart. That means not interrupting, fixing, judging or taking over the conversations. That also means staying solid to your core and reflecting people’s realities back to them so they can process their own solutions. Whom are you a rock to?

7. Develop the capacity for self-observation. Become the audience of your own drama, not just the actor. That way you can better understand how people experience you, as well as how they experience themselves when they’re with you. What side of the stage are you on?

8. Disagreeing is tolerable – disagreeing without proposing solutions isn’t. Think of it as a Positivity Ratio: Every time you disagree, promise yourself and your team that you’ll always bring two or three solutions along with you. That keeps receptivity high. Are your disagreements derailments or springboards?

9. Don’t be threatened by people who are smarter than you. Otherwise you’ll end up keeping people around you that are inadequate so you feel better about yourself. And that only leads to poor performance. Are you willing to be the dumbest guy in the room?

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
What will be your legacy of openness?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “71 Words Employees Never Want to Hear Their Manager Say,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

Never the same speech twice.
Always about approachability.

Watch The Nametag Guy in action here!

How to Gauge Your Entrepreneurial Readiness

When you’re willing to put it all on the line for something. That’s when you’re ready.

When you find yourself constantly asking yourself, “What the hell am I still doing here?” That’s when you’re ready.

When a stagnant existence in the throws of mediocrity no longer fulfills you. That’s when you’re ready.

When you’ve worked so long and hard on something that you actually become sick of that thing. That’s when you’re ready.

When you’ve built a strong enough foundation of inner resources to support you when YOUR economy inevitably starts to crumble. That’s when you’re ready.

When people start to recognize you at airports in other cities. That’s when you’re ready.

When you’ve built a platform that’s strong enough and following that’s large enough. That’s when you’re ready.

When the message you’ve been preaching starts to become the dominant reality of your life. That’s when you’re ready.

When you have no idea WHAT the hell you’re doing (or HOW you’re going to do it) – but know WHY you’re going to do it. That’s when you’re ready.

When three (or more) moments of synchronicity occur within a short period of time. That’s when you’re ready.

When you can’t possibly imagine spending another 14-hour day sitting alone in that goddamn cubicle. That’s when you’re ready.

When you no longer have to ask Google if you’re ready. That’s when you’re ready.

When you spend more time thinking about what it would be like if you owned your own company rather than how you benefit your current company. That’s when you’re ready.

When you’re willing to make yourself uncomfortable and dramatically reprioritize your life. That’s when you’re ready.

When you realize that whether or not you’re “ready” is irrelevant. That’s when you’re ready.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Are you ready?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “54 Questions Every Entrepreneur Should Ask,” send an email to me, and you win the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

Who’s quoting YOU?

Check out Scott’s Online Quotation Database for a bite-sized education on branding success!

www.stuffscottsaid.com.

How to be an Imperfectionist

About once a month, I get an email from a reader who kindly points out a typo in one of my books.

This, in my opinion, is a victory. Because at least I know somebody’s reading. Other than my mother.

And part of me wishes I’d thought to include those typos intentionally, just for the purpose of measuring readership. But I didn’t. The typos are there (not because I’m savvy), but because I’m imperfect.

Even after writing nine books. Somehow, one or two always manage to squeeze by in each one. Dang it.

But I’m cool with that. Perfection is overrated anyway.

THEREFORE: Exerting your imperfect humanity is a hallmark of approachability.

In the words of U.S. Anderson, author of The Magic in Your Mind:

“When imperfectness enters a man’s soul, he is able to show that he does not live alone in the world, but with millions of others, in whose hearts exists the same animating spirit.”

What about you?
Are you willing to be an Imperfectionist?

If so, consider these practices for implementing a little imperfection into your daily life…

1. Learn to thrive in shades of gray. Learn to walk the halls with an attitude of confident uncertainty. Ellen Langer explains the power of this practice in Mindfulness:

“You’re confident that the job will get done, but without being certain of exactly the best way of doing it. This gives employees more room to be creative, alert and self-starting; plus, risk taking becomes less risky.”

It’s about increasing your tolerance for ambiguity. It’s about not reaching for ready-made replies. And it’s about asking questions you don’t know the answer to. Are you confidently uncertain?

2. Don’t be at war with HOW when you should be in love with WHY. You don’t have to know what you’re doing. You don’t have to know where you’re going. You don’t have to know how you’re going to get there.

You just need to move – and you need to know WHY you’re moving. Lesson learned: Just keep starting. The finishing will take care of itself. If there even IS a finish line. Which there isn’t. Are you stopped by not knowing how?

3. Forego superficiality and, just for once, try being real. Here’s the deal: Honesty makes you vulnerable. And vulnerability reinforces your humanity because human beings are, by their very nature, imperfect.

Yes, it takes significantly more work to walk your truth. Especially in a world of (mostly) fiction. But, as my Aunt Vicki once told me, “If everything is perfect, somebody isn’t being honest.” What social mask are you willing to retire?

4. Trust that people want the real you. In Writing for Your Life, Deena Metzger explains that “beauty appears when something is completely and absolutely and openly itself.”

Similarly, you need to believe that people really DO want the best, most honest, most imperfect version of you. And if they don’t, you need to believe that that’s cool, too. But if that’s the case, now might be a good time to walk away. Which version of you do you think people want?

5. Allow unguarded moments. Who knows? Maybe now is the chance to screw up royally because you’ve been too perfect lately. Don’t worry: When you open the door to your imperfect nature and remove that which blocks the path of truth, the selfhood on which you stand will support you.

And, the awareness and honesty of your imperfections – ugly and terrifying as they may be – will set you free. Well, either that, or your secretary will call the police. What if you laid your weapons down, just for one round?

6. Stop trying to be a leader. Instead, exert your passion fueled by your purpose. Instead, make your life a work of art. Instead, become a living brochure of your own awesomeness. If you do these things – and do them IM-perfectly – people will follow. As Warren Bennis reminds us in On Becoming a Leader:

“No leader sets out to be a leader. People set out to live their lives, expressing themselves fully. Then, when that expression is of value, they become leaders. The point is not to become a leader. The point is to become yourself, to use yourself completely – all your skills, gifts and energies – in order to make your vision manifest.”

Wow. The un-leader approach. I like it. In what situations do you inhibit your own authentic self-expression?

7. Don’t criticize imperfections. This increases the probability of people thinking to themselves, “Thank you for treating me like a human being.” The challenge is learning to tolerate a reasonable amount of error. Otherwise people will perceive you as an unimpeachable leader with unrealistic expectations.

My suggestion: Stay away from the attitude personified by Dilbert’s Pointy Haired Boss, who regularly requests, “Read my mind and then recommend the decision I’ve already decided on.” What would happen to your career if you were known as the biggest imperfectionist in your company?

8. Leave room for yourself (and others) to be imperfect. Stop trying to convince everyone you encounter that you’re invincible, unbreakable and infallible. Approachable means bustable. Approachable means crackable. Approachable means surrendering to your imperfections.

Instead of pulling a Lady Macbeth and screaming, “Out, damned spot!” learn to say, “Hallelujah, blessed spot!” Come on. Even The Death Star had a weakness. And that thing was freaking HUGE.

Remember: Endorsing your own weakness establishes your acceptance of the imperfect humanness of others. Are you willing to abandon yourself to your own (and others’) inadequacies?

REMEMBER: Perfectionism is procrastination. Perfectionism blocks inventiveness. Perfectionism stains communication. And perfectionism slaughters playfulness.

Exerting your imperfect humanity, on the other hand, is one of the hallmarks of being an approachable leader.

In conclusion, when it comes to being an imperfectionist, let us remember Leonard Cohen’s famous tune, Anthem, in which he sang:

“Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.”

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a few manuscript typos to corrrrect for my next book.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Are you willing to be an Imperfectionist?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “23 Ways to Bring More of Yourself to Any Situation,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

If they can’t come UP to you; how will they ever get BEHIND you?

Buy Scott’s new book and learn daily practices for becoming a more approachable manager!

Pick up your copy (or a case!) right here.

Get Rid of Your Reputation for Being an Unapproachable Boss Once and for All!

This month we’ve been exploring the “Impending Dangers of Inapproachability.”

In part one, you examined five early warning signs.

Today, let’s talk about how people might feel interacting with you if you are unapproachable:

1. People will be on guard around you. Because they feel tense. Self-conscious. Afraid to offend you. Walking on eggshells. Hesitant to set off your emotions.

And the mental energy they expend on those fear-based thoughts (1) robs them of their ability to be true, (2) prevents them from offering full information, and (3) scares them away from sharing what’s most important. What questions are your employees afraid to ask you?

STRATEGY: At the end of your meetings, try asking, “What questions did I NOT ask that you were hoping I WOULD ask?”

2. People will be at a loss of words around you. Because you make them nervous. Because you don’t give them permission. Because you aren’t making communication a relaxing experience. How easy is it for people to open up around you?

STRATEGY: Learn to influence and inspire through imperfection and inadequacy.

3. People will feel like a non-person around you. Especially if unnecessary titles prevent them from getting to know each other authentically. Also, if unspoken hierarchies exist, take caution. This hampers the freedom of expression and creates psychological distance between people. No matter how “open” (you say) your door really is. Are you treating people like people, or statistics?

STRATEGY: Lead with your person and follow with your profession. Put values before vocation, individuality before industry and personality before profession.

4. People will feel tense or nervous around you. Which causes them stress. Which corrodes their health. Which impairs their positive attitude. Which lowers their overall performance. Which loses the company money. Do you bring peace or drama to other people’s lives?

STRATEGY: Learn how to incorporate deep breathing into everything you do. I suggest reading Eric Maisel’s Ten Zen Seconds. Changed my life forever.

5. People will hold (mostly) shallow interactions. And your communication topics will always remain superficial. Nobody will ever get to the heart of any important issues because they’re holding back, unsure about how you might react. As a result, very little ever gets accomplished. Do you really think asking about traffic or the weather is an effective conversation starter?

STRATEGY: Ask Passion Finding Questions (PFQ) like, “What was the best part
about your weekend?” and “What keeps you busy when you’re not working here?”

6. People will perceive interactions with as being longer. And, therefore, uncomfortable. As such, most interactions will end prematurely because people will want to get the hell out of there as soon as possible. Ultimately, this reputation will contaminate the space that surrounds you. How could you make the time spent with you seem shorter?

STRATEGY: Hold meetings in which everybody is standing up. Instantly cuts the perceived meeting time spent in half.

– – –

REMEMBER: The only judgment your people can (honestly) make about you is how interacting with you makes them FEEL.

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter if YOU think you’re approachable – it only matters if you’re perceived and remembered as being approachable by the people you serve.

If not, I guarantee your organization WILL suffer.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How is being unapproachable hurting your organization?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “71 Words Employees Never Want to Hear Their Manager Say,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

Never the same speech twice.
Always about approachability.

Watch The Nametag Guy in action here!

How to Make a Name for Yourself – Even if You Make a Fool of Yourself

1. Advance confidently in the direction of your dreams. Progressing towards anything else – graceful as you may look doing so – is a total waste of time, money and energy. Either relentlessly pursue the visions that possess you or go home. What continually deflects you from your certainty of purpose?

2. Ambition always looks good on you. Plus, it vortexes people in. It inspires and challenges people to think about their own ambition. Which fills them with the fuel of passion to guide their actions. What outer skin are you wearing?

3. Arise with firm determination. Build your life in a way that makes you hate sleeping. Not because you’re workaholic. Not because you’re an insomniac. But because the passion flows out of your body so abundantly that you couldn’t use an alarm clock if you wanted to. As U.S Anderson said in his obscure book, The Magic in your Mind, “Worlds are never conquered by men who lie abed, only by those who are out in the world and doing.” Why do you get out of bed every day?

4. Be not self-satisfied with past glory. Don’t allow the arrogance of past success prevent you from learning, growing or soaring. As my friend David Newman says, “Stop measuring all situations by your glorious past rather than looking for new opportunities and the possibilities of the future.” Remember: The past isn’t just over – it’s overrated. What have you done TODAY?

5. Be scary good. There’s a good goal for ya. To be so good at what you do that people watch with breathless interested and jaws agape, thinking to themselves, “Dude, it is SCARY how good this guy is.” So, not scary in a bad way. Scary because they’d hate to be up against you. Scary because they wonder if you’re actually an alien. And scary because they KNOW you’re going to blow everyone else out of the water. What level of good are you?

6. Become the person you most admire. Wouldn’t that rock? If you could look up to yourself? If you could inspire yourself? I think so. And I don’t mean that in a self-absorbed, egomaniacal, Steven Colbert kind of way. Just a deep love for yourself and a deep desire to become yourself. Whom do you admire?

7. Decide what security looks like to you. In the aforementioned The Magic in Your Mind, U.S. Anderson also said, “The only real security a man can have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience and ability.” Remember: Fickleness is a fact of life. How are you restocking YOUR reserve?

8. Don’t believe the dreams they pump you full of, and you won’t get hurt. That was the advice from Atlas Shrugged. And I agree. Part of making a name for yourself is deciding whom to listen to. Refusing to become limited by the thoughts others have tried to set in motion for you. Ignoring the would-be deflectors of your one true dream. Personally amputate anyone who doesn’t believe in or support your personal vision. Whose life are you living, really?

9. Failure IS an option – not learning from that failure isn’t. After all, we learn not from our experience, but from intelligent reflection upon those experiences. So, the secret is creating a system for learning and growing from everything. The secret is accepting influence from everybody you encounter. And te secret is enabling value to be added to yourself by anything, anytime, anywhere. Failed at anything today yet?

10. Find a way to insert your entire self into it. Whatever “it” is. Your job. Your role. Your assignment. You phone calls. You conversations. Your presentations. Whatever. The secret is bringing more of yourself to everything. The secret is asking the question, “What would I do in this situation?” Which reminds me of what my mentor once said, “The more that it is YOU, the easier it will be to do.” How much of YOU are you putting into this moment?

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Are you willing to make a name for yourself even if you make a fool of yourself?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “19 Way to be the ONE Person Everybody Remembers at the Conference,” send an email to me, and you win the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

Who’s quoting YOU?

Check out Scott’s Online Quotation Database for a bite-sized education on branding success!

www.stuffscottsaid.com.

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