Are You Sculpting These Four Muscles of Approachable Leaders?

1. Energy is the best attractor. People might not remember what you said – but they’ll never forget how your energy made them feel.

That’s what brings them back for more of you. That’s what causes them to tell everyone they know about you. Whether or not your forcefield of aliveness helped them fall in love with themselves. How do you make people feel essential?

2. Execution is the great qualifier. If you’re not sure whether or not to trust someone, just ask one question: “What measurable success has this person achieved?” That should weed out the talkers from the doers. At the same time, remember that your prospects are probably asking the same question about you.

Your challenge is to reinforce a positive pattern of execution. To present a timeline of credibility. Otherwise you’ll appear about as qualified as George W. Bush. What have you executed this week?

3. Inauthenticity is the great deal-breaker. Because it taints everything else you do. I don’t care how smart, good-looking or successful you are. If you’re bullshitting the world, eventually they’re going to smell it. Especially if you “try” to be authentic.

Doesn’t work that way. Authenticity is like pregnancy: You either are or you aren’t. Sure, it’s not as obvious to onlookers as carrying a child. But time has this funny way of either exposing you or extolling you. May as well go with the real version. What do you rationalize as authenticity?

4. Trust is the great closer. Failure to achieve believability is a widespread challenge. Which is understandable. People are afraid of everything, so they trust nothing. The goal is to teach people to trust and believe in you again so they’re not afraid of you anymore.

After all: The more people trust IN you, the more they will bet on, buy from, follow after, stand beside and tell others about you. And if you’ve ever wondered, “Why don’t people don’t trust me?” perhaps it’s time to ask the bigger question, “Am I trustable?”

Here’s a helpful guide to become more trustable than Oprah without resorting to brainwashing or Jedi mind tricks. What are the signs that you haven’t earned someone’s trust yet?

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
What makes you an approachable leader?

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For the list called, “7 Ways to Radically Raise Receptivity of Those You Serve,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

Never the same speech twice.
Always about approachability.

Watch The Nametag Guy in action here!

7 Effective Approaches for Handling The Office Criticizer without Using the Fire Extinguisher

Depending on the situation, you might try any of the following Phrases that Payses to diffuse their negative energy:

1. “You may be correct.” This phrase diffuses the energy behind someone’s attack and avoids threatening the attacker. And by giving an impression of active agreement – not passive acquiescence – you avoid adding fuel to the fire. What’s more, “You may be right” validates a particular part of someone’s argument. Which doesn’t mean you TOTALLY agree with her. But, it does make it easier for the other person to hear your side of the story by way of reciprocation.

2. “I agree with you.” Similarly, this phrase “agrees with thy adversary quickly,” as the scripture suggests. It builds common ground on a point of mutual agreement and aligns you with the other person. That way, you’re both on the same side. Which is how resistance dissipates. Which makes moving toward a solution flow a LOT smoother.

3. “What makes this so important to you?” This gem is especially effective when someone shoots down EVERY idea you suggest. It identifies a person’s motives and challenges them to honesty examine their emotions, which, if they’ve lashed out at you, probably isn’t something they’ve done yet.

4. “I respect your opinion of my work.” My all-time favorite. Perfect for artists and creative professionals. Remember: If everybody loves your brand, you’re doing something wrong. And if you’re not polarizing or pissing of at least SOME people, you’re doing something wrong. Likewise, if everybody loves your idea, it’s probably not that good of an idea. So, next time someone expresses a dislike for your work – especially in an attempt to fluster, insult or embarrass you – try saying this phrase.

5. “How exactly do you mean?” This responds directly to the attack instead of letting it pass unchallenged. Another variation is, “Can you give me a specific example?” Either way, have a paper and pen ready to take notes to demonstrate a willingness to listen and openness to feedback.

6. “You’re right.” Two of the most powerful words in the world. Also, two of the most beautiful words anyone will hear. This Safety Phrase surprises the attacker, short circuits their verbal violence loop and communicates the message that you’re not going to play by their rules. What’s more, it forces the other person to make a new move. Additionally, saying, “You’re right,” contains the following attributes:

a. It’s positively framed. Which redirects the conversation into a productive direction. And that can ONLY help achieve greater resolve.
b. It enters into someone else’s reality. Which demonstrates empathy. Which shows you’ve listened. Which advances the conversation into safer, more productive territory.
c. It increases someone’s pride. Which speaks to their self-esteem. Which makes them more confident about themselves. Which makes YOU feel better about YOUR self.
d. It builds common ground on a point of mutual agreement. Which reduces emotional distance and increases trust. And especially if someone’s really upset, getting her to trust you is your key goal.
e. It validates a particular part of someone’s argument. Which doesn’t mean you’re TOTALLY agreeing with them. But, it makes them easier for them to (then) hear your side of the story.

7. Silence. Lastly, sometimes the best way to reverse the momentum of an overly aggressive or hostile person is to say nothing at all. To just shut up and let them vent. See, in many cases, that’s all they wanted: Someone to listen to them. To honor them. Or, in some cases, that’s all they needed: Someone to serve as a sounding board so they could hear how absurd their words actually were.

Of course, if none of these practices work, you can always grab the fire extinguisher, either for beatings or sprayings. It all depends on how tall the criticizer is.

Good luck.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How do you approach the office criticizer?

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For the list called, “26 Rapid-Fire Strategies for becoming the Most Approachable Person in Your Organization,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

If they can’t come UP to you; how will they ever get BEHIND you?

Buy Scott’s new book and learn daily practices for becoming a more approachable manager!

Pick up your copy (or a case!) right here.

4 Ways to Help People Love Themselves More When They’re With You

The best way to get people to fall love with you is to help them fall in love with themselves first.

After all, it’s not about being the life of the party – it’s about bringing other people TO life AT the party.

Here are four ways to do so:

1. Be aware of the weight you have on people. A common mistake made by unapproachable leaders is forgetting to regularly share what they’re thinking and feeling. This confusion over where the leader stands causes stress in their followers. After all, when people never know what’s on your mind, it drives them crazy.

And ultimately, the weight you have on them will become so heavy that your unpredictability will create apprehension in their process of approaching you.

Yikes.

What’s more, let’s talk about the peril of passion. Sure, passion is beautiful because it’s enthusiastic and contagious. But be careful. Part of being an approachable leader is cultivating an awareness of how your energy affects others. Take a campfire, for example. Yes, it provides warmth. Yes, it provides inspiration. Yes, it provides heat to cook your s’mores.

But it can also burn you (and others) pretty good. Does your intensity wear others out?

2. Don’t overwhelm people with your knowledge. In Rules of Thumb, Alan Webber identifies two types of leaders: The ones who compliment other people they work with for their ideas, and the one who use their incredible brainpower to point out the flaws in others’ thinking and shoot down their ideas.

Hopefully, you’re the former. Because the secret is to share your knowledge without showcasing it. To present your ideas without hurling them. As Bob Lefton says in Leadership Through People Skills, “Resist the urge to unload advice on people who haven’t asked for it and aren’t ready to listen to it.”

If you have a lot of ideas to convey, chunk them down into small clusters. By spacing ideas effectively, they’re easier to digest. Otherwise people feel intimidated by a barrage of knowledge, which reduces receptivity. How does the way you use your intelligence come across to the people who work with you?

3. Don’t ignore signs of discomfort in others. That means refraining from telling a lot of insignificant, endless stories that have zero relevance to anyone. This is not only uncomfortable, but also annoying. And it leaves a perception of vanity – not value – in the minds of others.

And yet, tons of people practice this without invitation and it drives others up the wall. So consumed with telling their story, they pay little or no attention to people’s irritation, impatience or disgust. Scott Adams said it best in Dogbert’s Top Secret Management Handbook, “Be obliged to stop rambling if your listener shows signs of starvation, coma or rigor mortis.”

Otherwise, people will experience you as being too selfish to acknowledge anyone else’s right to talk. And the problem with his communication pattern is that it (1) Leaves people wondering why they bothered to listen in the first place, and (2) Lowers the likelihood that they’ll come up TO, feel relaxed AROUND, open up WITH, comfortable walk away FROM and confidently return TO you.

The secret is becoming more mindful of declining receptivity in the people around you. In addition to uncomfortable scanning their watch to see how much longer they have to listen to you, remember to watch for these warning signs: Flat assertions. Impatience. Silence. Nervousness. Superficial questioning. Unquestioning agreement. Each of these are grounded in discomfort and declining receptivity. How listenable are you perceived as being?

4. Identify and disarm silent dialogues. Assumptions. Annoyances. Preoccupations. Concerns. Questions. This is just a sampling of the communication barriers floating around in people’s heads. See, the big question people are asking themselves (as they experience you) is, “Is this person the same on the inside, as he seems on the outside?”

For your sake, I hope the answer is yes. And here’s why. In Parker Palmer’s fantastic book, A Hidden Wholeness, he addresses this perception gap:

“When the answer to that question is yes, we relax. We believe that we are in the presence of integrity and feel secure enough to invest ourselves in the relationship. When the answer to that question is no, we go on high alert. Not knowing who or what are dealing with and feeling unsafe, we hunker down into a psychological foxhole and withhold the investment of our energy, commitment and gifts.”

Wow. What existing defensiveness do you need to diffuse?

REMEMBER: We always fall in love with those who help us fall in love with ourselves.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How are you make this person light up like a Christmas tree?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “7 Ways to Radically Raise Receptivity of Those You Serve,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

Never the same speech twice.
Always about approachability.

Watch The Nametag Guy in action here!

5 Ways to Help Prospects Pursue You Like a Pomeranian in Heat

You can only darken people’s doorsteps so many times.

Eventually, the goal is to position yourself so THEY pursue YOU.

THEY meaning prospects ready to buy from you.
THEY meaning followers prepared to be inspired by you.
THEY meaning the media excited about interviewing you.
THEY meaning key players interesting in partnering with you.
THEY meaning customers stoked about doing business with you.

Because – as much as you’d like to – you can’t MAKE people pursue you.

You can, however, transform yourself into a more pursuable person.

Here’s a list of strategies for doing so: (Read part one of this series!)

1. Acknowledge your own value. If you don’t value you – they won’t value you. Period. The first sale is selling yourself to yourself. Fortunately, all it takes belief, discipline, commitment and confidence. People pursue people like that. What’s your system for strengthening your self-belief?

2. Aggressively invest in building remarkable moments. Ideally, moments that MOVE customers from “satisfied” to “loyal” to, eventually, “insistent.” The secret for doing so can be summarized in seven words: Create an opportunity for a service event. Whether it’s in-person, on the phone or online, the key word is “event.”

That’s what approachability is all about: An interaction that otherwise wouldn’t have existed … that’s memorable for the right reasons. The cool part is, the more of these remarkable events you create, the more pursued you become. It’s a simple probability equation.

And if you do it right, over time, other companies will want to steal your service philosophy. Because remarkability generates gasps. Gasps get repeated. And repeated gasps garner repeat business. What do you do SO well that people come back to see you do it again?

3. Be a better self-advertisement. The articulation of your fabulousness. The living brochure of your awesomeness. The walking translation of your value. THAT’S what advertising should be. Interestingly, the word “advertise” derives from the Latin advertere, which means, “to turn toward.” Interesting.

That means: No eye-gauging billboards. No tree-killing table tents. And no blood-boiling commercials. Just helping people to turn toward you. Arresting their attention, grabbing the world by the lapel and whispering aggressively into its ear, “Psst! Yeah, you. Check THIS out…”

Not in an interruptive way, of course. Just enough passion to be noticeable and listenable, but without being questionable and checkoffable. People pursue people like that. Are you a public pitchman for the product of YOU?

4. Pursuit is a function of growth. The more you grow, the bigger you become; and the bigger you become, the broader your pursuit range. So, by virtue of growth, you’re mathematically appealing to a more diverse population of prospects.

That in mind, here’s my personal philosophy on the subject: Refuse to let any day pass without personal growth. Doesn’t matter how infinitesimal it is – there’s no such thing as insignificant growth. And it’s not about competing with anyone.

It’s about evolving beyond the previous version of yourself into something more beautiful, more valuable and yes, more pursuable. How will you create the best possible circumstance in which your growth will be supported, enhanced and fulfilled?

5. Make follow-up easy. The word “pursue” comes from the Latin prosequi, which means, “to follow up.” VERY interesting. That’s why it’s crucial to remember that being pursued is useless if you’re not returning the favor. You need to get back with people quickly.

Because while the “Good, Fast and Cheap” mindset used to be enough, NOW you’re dealing with a customer expectation of “Perfect, Now and Free.” Are you returning calls faster than your competitors?

Remember: As much as you’d like to – you can’t MAKE people pursue you. You can, however, transform yourself into a more pursuable person.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “12 Ways to Out Service the Competition,” send an email to me, and you win the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

Never the same speech twice.
Always about approachability.

Watch The Nametag Guy in action here!

6 Secrets of Highly Pursuable Professionals

Who’s in hot pursuit of you?

Professionally, that is. I don’t want this to turn into another episode of Cops.

Anyway, if the answer is, “Not enough people,” consider these six strategies for becoming a more pursuable professional:

1. Be beautiful to listen to. Consider the last five vendors you’ve hired. Or the last five colleagues you’ve partnered with. Hell, even consider the last five people you’ve dated. Question: How many of those individuals were a pain in the ass just to LISTEN to?

Every interaction you have with somebody either adds to or subtracts from the positive perception of your brand. What’s more, the pursuit of a potential person – business or personal – is either exacerbated or enhanced by the way you feel when interacting with that person.

Remember: When you’re music to people’s ears, you’re a magnet to people’s wallets. Would YOU be compelled to listen to you?

2. Learn from the daters. “Pursue” is a common term used in the dating world. So, I’ve collected a myriad of journal, blog and message board quotations from various single people. As you explore this list, consider the implications of each “non-pursuable” to your own business:

a. I didn’t pursue because I assumed he was out of my reach. Are you perceived as being out of your customer’s league?
b. I didn’t pursue because I assumed he didn’t like me. What false assumptions are your customers making about you?
c. I didn’t pursue because I didn’t feel confident enough to go after him. How are you increasing customer self-confidence?
d. I didn’t pursue because I was scared of the potential of failure. How could you remove the threat of rejection for your customers?
e. I didn’t pursue because I was resolute in the belief that I wasn’t better than anyone else. How might you increase your customer’s self-esteem?
f. I didn’t pursue because I saw him kissing some random girl in a bar. Are you overly engaged with your current customers to take on anybody new?
g. I didn’t pursue because I was worried he was going to tell his mom. Are your customers concerned about confidentiality?

Remember: Business and dating is EXACTLY the same thing. You still have customers. You still need to look attractive in their eyes. You still have to keep them satisfied and coming back for more. And still need to make yourself more pursuable to future prospects. Whom are YOU dating?

3. Become the physical embodiment of your expertise. It’s one thing to know something; it’s another thing to BE that something. And if you want to be pursued in greater numbers, your expertise must become crystallized through the sieve of experience – PLUS – intelligent reflection upon that experience.

That’s certainly the type of person I’d pursue. Someone who doesn’t know (x), but who IS (x). See the difference? Embodiment secures trust. Embodiment reinforces character. And embodiment promotes pursuit. Are you acquiring knowledge or do you possess REAL wisdom?

4. Figure out what’s missing for people. If you build it – and they DON’T come – it’s because they don’t want it. Or because they don’t know you built it. Or because you didn’t solve their problem. Or because you’re passionate yet irrelevant – cool but inconsequential.

Here’s the secret: People who get pursued are the ones who UNDO what the customer has done to himself. But they’re not jerks about it. They just strategically position themselves based around what they were designed to cure. And as a result, prospects are hot on their trails. What problem are you the answer to?

5. Learn from the lawyers. In the legal world, “pursuable” is also a term traditionally designated to cases and complaints that have a positive chance of succeeding. And the best lawyers are the ones who pinpoint pursuability immediately, so as not to waste anybody’s time.

Interestingly, when I researched the term “non-pursuable,” I found a collection of cases from a variety of industries. Each of them predicted non-pursuability in some fashion. So, as you read each of these, consider the applications to your own career:

a. The case was non-pursuable because they passed the statute of limitations. Has the clock run out on your brand’s market relevance?
b. The case was non-pursuable because the charge wasn’t significant enough. Do you matter?
c. The case was non-pursuable because they didn’t meet the case criteria. What is your credibility strengthening process?
d. The case was non-pursuable because the complainant didn’t provide further information. Are you leaving people hanging?
e. The case was non-pursuable because the proposal effort was unwarranted in light of the likelihood of rejection. Are you known for saying no reflexively?
a. The case was non-pursuable because the accused was incarcerated. Have you actually left the house today, or are you still in your jammies?
b. The case was non-pursuable because they were unable to contact the company. How many different ways can customers reach out to you?
c. The case was non-pursuable because insufficient evidence was collected. If you were charged with the crime of delivering value, would there be enough evidence to convict you?
d. The case was non-pursuable because they lacked substantiation. Are you proving value?
e. The case was non-pursuable because the assailant was never identified. Do you have a good working model of your brand identity?

Remember: Lawyers know what they’re doing. Most of the time. OK, some of the time. Alright, fine, lawyers are evil and they should burn in the fiery pits of hell for all of eternity. But the point is, they ask better questions than anyone. Listen to them. They’re the masters at determining pursuability. Have you had lunch with your attorney lately?

6. Let your customers help you sell them things. People train you how to treat them. Customers tell you how to sell them. All YOU have to do is listen. Now, I’m not talking about any of that manipulative NLP mirroring/matching/pacing crap. I’m talking about leveraging the natural rhythms of your customers.

Pinpointing their passions, preferences and personalities – then using those patterns to stop selling and start enabling to buy. Because all buyers know what they want. ALL of them. You just need to listen. After all, what YOU sell isn’t the same thing as what THEY buy. Know the difference. How are you giving customers permission to make your business better?

REMEMBER: As much as you’d like to – you can’t MAKE people pursue you. You can, however, transform yourself into a more pursuable person.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “12 Ways to Out Service the Competition,” send an email to me, and you win the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

Never the same speech twice.
Always about approachability.

Watch The Nametag Guy in action here!

10 Ways to Create an Aura that Makes You More Desirable without Wearing Pheromone Cologne

1. Attitude is the best asset. Especially in a down economy. My challenge to you is to approach recessions as opportunities to renew resourcefulness. By blaming the economy you evade responsibility and continue to NOT taking action. Instead, believe that greatness is near.

Believe that behind every problem there’s a question trying to ask itself. And next time someone asks you, “Do these pants make my RUT look big?” just reply with, “No, but your attitude does.” How will you exponentially increase the net value of your attitudinal asset?

2. Awareness is the great advancer. Achieving mastery in ANYTHING begins with the prerequisite plunge into awareness. And I bet you’ve been there before, too. You know, it’s that crucial moment when you jolt awake out of your sleepwalking and exclaim, “Holy crap! I can’t believe I never thought of that until just now…”

That’s awareness. Business, personal, spiritual, whatever. And the cool part is, once you arrive at that space, the architecture of your spirit is never the same again. The bell of awareness has been rung, the waves have been sent, and the vibrations will echo in your heart forever.

Now, that doesn’t mean you won’t experience an occasional relapse. But complete regression back into your old, oblivious self is near impossible. Awareness simply advances you too far. As the old PSA’s from Saturday morning GI JOE cartoons used to remind me, “Now you know – and knowing is half the battle.” What’s hidden from you that, if you were able to see, would set you free?

3. Contribution is the great commission. Remember when you used to go camping as a kid? What was the first rule your counselors taught you? Leave the campsite better than the way you found it. That’s contribution. And the same rule applies when you’re all grows up and all grows up. Except this time, the campsite is the world. And what you leave behind depends on how you answer the following questions:

a. What were you designed to cure?
b. What are you the World Undisputed Heavyweight Champion of?
c. What would disappoint the world if people heard you had stopped doing it?

Anyone can contribute. Clarify yours – and then find a creative way to serve through it. What have you been commissioned to contribute?

4. Complying without questioning is self-mutilation. Indoctrination causes numbness. Don’t give mass consciousness permission to think for you. Evolve out of that. Engage a different part of yourself. Invite whatever forces you to grow, rise from the ashes and surrender to the next phase of your own evolution. You’re a bigger instrument now. Are you living other people’s ideas about who you are?

5. Detection of inertia determines emancipation. Newton’s First Law of Motion defines inertia as “preserving in its present state,” or “an object in motion stays in motion.” Your challenge is to figure out what areas of your life are suffering from inertia, and what you can do to alter their trajectory. In order to do so, you have to run an Inertia Index. Spend a few minutes entertaining the following questions:

d. Where do you need to plant the seeds of movement?
e. How could you start your workday practicing your job?
f. How will you quantify the milestones of your progress?
g. How can you keep your momentum going without burning out or getting bored?
h. If you were to begin fully living your life, what is the first change you would make?
i. What one step could you take now to start moving forward to your ideal future?
j. What if, overnight, a miracle occurred, and you woke up tomorrow morning and the problem was solved – what would be the first thing you would notice?

Remember: Riding a bike downhill doesn’t mean you have strong legs. The sooner you learn where you need to peddle, the sooner you’ll be free to get where you need to go. How will inertia emancipate you?

6. Deficiency of self-esteem underprices value. Here’s one of the most powerful self-esteem building exercises you will ever practice. Put on your best suit. Go into the bathroom. Then stare at yourself in the mirror and quote your fee, over and over again, without flinching, for twenty minutes.

First you’ll feel silly. Then dumb. Then curious. Then confidant. Then excited. And then, ready to go sell something. And from that moment on, whenever fee-quoting time comes, you won’t skip a beat. Because you’re practiced it a thousand times. How much money are you losing because you don’t love yourself enough?

7. Displacement is the best sobriety. If you’re currently intoxicated – not from a substance, but from a situation – get out of town immediately. Even if it’s as simple as driving twenty minutes into the next county. Leave now. Dislocation creates clarification. I don’t know how and I don’t know why, but it does. So go. Call the office and tell them you’re not coming in today. I’m giving you the day off. Where could you go that would sober you up?

8. Experience without reflection is emptiness. As my mentor taught me, “We learn not from our experiences, but from intelligent reflection upon those experiences.” So, don’t just reflect on the experience – write down your reflections. Because if you don’t write it down, it never happened. What’s more, if you don’t capture it, you can’t recreate it. And if you don’t know where the rock created the ripple, you won’t know where to throw future rocks. What did you write today?

9. Happiness is the best dividend. Happiness isn’t your goal. Contribution is. Validation is. The interesting part is, when you focus your energy on accomplishing those two things first, happiness becomes an inevitable consequence. Not intentional, but incidental. And it tastes that much sweeter as a result. What will make you happy that has nothing to do with ego or image or status?

10. Inexperience is the great limit-squasher. When you don’t know the rules, you won’t know when you’ve broken them. That’s when you end up soaring past everyone else. Because their creativity is confined by self-imposed limitations disguised as “rules.”

You, on the other hand, embraced your inexperience and took the plunge clear-eyed and confidently. And you learned that ignorance isn’t just bliss – it’s bank. If you dreamed in terms of your unrealized potential and not your limitations, how would that change the dream?

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How will you create an aura that makes you more desirable?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “37 Personal Leadership Questions Guaranteed to Shake Your Soul,” send an email to me, and you win the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

If they can’t come UP to you; how will they ever get BEHIND you?

Buy Scott’s new book and learn daily practices for becoming a more approachable manager!

Pick up your copy (or a case!) right here.

What Everybody Ought to Know about Being an Approachable Employee

1. Behavior is the broadcaster of attitude. Don’t bother announcing to people what kind of attitude you strive to maintain. Anyone who’s even (somewhat) perceptive can already tell. And here’s why: Bodies override mouths, verbs outweigh nouns and actions embody mindsets.

Whatever you feel, people can spot. Whatever you harbor, people can smell. And whatever you deny, people can detect. They might not admit it, but deep down, they know something’s going on. Christ, even the DOG is onto you. So, you may as well tell the truth about how you feel. Is your behavior consistent with your stated values, even when no one is watching?

2. Humor is the height of communication. It’s also the only universal language and the great catchall of communication. For example: Funny means listening. Funny means approval. Funny means trust. Funny means attention. Funny means memorable. Funny means engaging. Funny means emotional. Funny means credible. Funny means learning. And funny means influential.

Nothing else in the world covers more ground than humor. And the good news is, everybody is funny. Everybody has endless humor in his life. And anyone can excavate the constant and inherent hilariousness of his daily experiences to improve his communication with others. You don’t need ventriloquize other people’s humor and pawn it off as your own original material.

Learn to leverage you brain’s creative process. Learn to observe ALL your experiences as being humorous. And learn to record them in an easily accessible, organized place. You’ll be the funniest person you know. How strong is your funny bone?

3. Imperfection is the insignia of inspiration. In a 2009 issue of Rolling Stone, Madonna shared the following insight:

“Justin Timberlake is really good-looking and laid back. He’s sort of a Cary Grant. I love him. I love working with him. But I don’t recognize myself IN him. But I can see myself in Lady Gaga. At her concert, she didn’t have a lot of money for her production, she had holes in her fishnets and there were mistakes everywhere. Kind of a mess. And it was nice to see that at a raw stage.”

Lesson learned: Followers and fans can’t see a reflection of themselves in monuments of flawlessness. Are you too perfect?

4. Inauthenticity is the forecaster of failure. Eventually, people are going to find out who you really are. It’s only a matter of time. And while certain people might be able to keep the show going longer than others, putting on an act IS exhausting. Just ask any professional comedian. Everyone (eventually) runs out of steam. And that’s when their truth is revealed.

The question is: How will the people you serve respond to it? And how wide will the gap be between your Truth and their memory? After all, it doesn’t matter what YOU think – it matters what THEY remember. All I’m saying is, it might be easier (and cheaper) to start walking your Truth TODAY. What’s the difference between your onstage performance and backstage reality?

5. Overseriousness is the fountainhead of mediocrity. The only thing worth being serious about is play. Now, understand that there are two components to this philosophy. First: Play as Attitude. This is about approaching everything you do in a playful way. Experiencing the world as a curious child would. Second: Play as Action.

As my mentor and occasional therapist, Richard Avdoian taught me, “Being playful isn’t the same thing as PLAYING.” One is a philosophy, the other is an event – and both are required. So, “playing” is something you do deliberately that has nothing to do with work whatsoever.

Think of it as a mini vacation. Going to a ballgame. Riding a Slip and Slide. Watching a mind-numbing action movie. Walking your ferret. Whatever. Anything that helps you escape from work. Remember: Be playful AND let yourself play. Is your life a playground or a corporate park?

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How approachable are you?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “26 Rapid-Fire Strategies for becoming the Most Approachable Person in Your Organization,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

If they can’t come UP to you; how will they ever get BEHIND you?

Buy Scott’s new book and learn daily practices for becoming a more approachable manager!

Pick up your copy (or a case!) right here.

How to Show Up without Showing Off

Woody Allen was wrong.

His famous one-liner was, “80% of life is showing up.”

Wrong. Showing up isn’t enough.

Think about it: How many times have YOU showed up … and sucked?

HERE’S THE REALITY: That you show up isn’t nearly as important as how you show up.

People respond to the sum total of what you present to them. Either positively, negatively, or not at all. It all depends on how you show up.

The problem is, people often shrink from showing UP because they’re terrified of being accused of showing OFF.

This doesn’t have to be the case. You can still show up strongly without showing off annoyingly.

Let’s explore seven strategies for doing so:

1. Stop proving yourself and start expressing yourself. This is a hard and humbling shift to make in your behavior. Took me about five years. And looking back, I now realize there are a few steps that can be taken by anyone to do so:

FIRST: Stop proclaiming and start displaying. Create avenues for others to experience your unique talents.

SECOND: Stop demanding your rights and start deploying your gifts. An attitude of entitlement doesn’t look good on anyone.

THIRD: Stop trying to be somebody. Befriend who you already are. It’s a lot less work.

Ultimately, these practices will enable you to inspire people from the inside, as opposed to advising them from the outside. Remember: The less you have to prove, the less other people will feel threatened around you.

Do this, and you will show up stronger than ever. What does your presence awaken in people?

2. Forego the fear of being found out. If you’re at war with yourself, you will not show up well. And the body count will double every time you walk into a room. Instead, your mission is to preserve an attitude of self-acceptance. To occupy your vulnerability and make friends with all aspects of yourself – even the ones that make you cringe.

That’s what I’ve discovered after 3,278 consecutive days of wearing a nametag: When you relax and assume everything is perfect, you begin to feel rightness and complete appropriateness in who you are. And so do the people you meet.

Do this, and you will show up stronger than ever. Are you AT war with yourself or IN love with yourself?

3. Assemble initiative, not inertia. That means being willing to be heard. That means being twice as proactive in everything you do. And that means being diligent in putting yourself in the success moment, and doing so with deadening regularity.

The enemy of initiative, on the other hand, is being paralyzed by your own mistakes. Being distracted by your own nonsense. And becoming a prisoner of yesterday’s errors. Be careful. Inertia is the slaughterer of success. Only movement counts.

Do this, and you will show up stronger than ever. Are you a cause or an effect?

4. Learn to become a part of every place you enter. In the fantastic book, Honoring the Self, I learned: “Come soft and bright as a sponge to be filled, unresisting; and allow nothing to weigh too much within your soul.”

That’s definition of vulnerability. That’s the epitome of openness. And if you practice this, and you will be welcomed everywhere you go. You will feel at home wherever you go.

Do this, and you will show up stronger than ever. When you walk into a room, how does it change?

5. Learn to become someone when you’re alone. That way, should you find yourself suddenly kicked to the curb (by your job, friends, spouse, partner, whatever), you can still prosper. As long as you listen deeply TO yourself, stay in constant rapport WITH yourself and heed what you hear FROM yourself.

That’s why I love yoga. It’s rock-solid practice trusting your support system of inner resources. Plus, you learn to “take your practice off the mat,” which is the process of transporting what you learned from one discipline into various other life containers.

As Emerson wrote in Self-Reliance, “The great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.” And ultimately, becoming someone when you’re alone makes it easier to show up AS someone when you’re not.

Do this, and you will show up stronger than ever. How often do you hold daily appointments with yourself?

6. Build a better you. Mousetraps are overrated. YOU are the only product that ever matters. After all, people buy people first. My suggestion is that you rededicate yourself as an instrument, recenter yourself in your commitment and recreate situations where your gifts can flourish.

That’s how you become the person you most admire. By creating a vision of how you would like yourself to be, “trying on” that vision until it fits like a glove, and then making sure lots of key people are watching you wear it.

Do this, and you will show up stronger than ever. In what area(s) of your life are you most motivated to improve?

7. Don’t just DO differently – BE differently. Here’s how: First, choose to approach the world as one giant banquet. Second, regard every moment as a new, positive opportunity to exercise your choice about how to experience life. And third, live like it’s nobody’s business.

That’s what it takes to BE (not just DO) differently. Sadly, most people aren’t ready for different. They get scared when they meet different. And you have to learn to be OK with that. You have to learn to soar in spite of that. So, remember what my Grandpa says, “Do the best you can with as many as you can.”

Do this, and you will show up stronger than ever. Do you have the courage to be unpopular?

REMEMBER: That you show up is eclipsed by the importance of HOW you show up.

Don’t shrink from doing so for fear of being accused of showing off.

Sculpt yourself into the person you want to present to others.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How do you show up?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “37 Personal Leadership Questions Guaranteed to Shake Your Soul,” send an email to me, and you win the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

If they can’t come UP to you; how will they ever get BEHIND you?

Buy Scott’s new book and learn daily practices for becoming a more approachable manager!

Pick up your copy (or a case!) right here.

10 Ways to Enable Employees to Ask You for Help

“Why aren’t my people asking me for help?”

Well, that depends: Are you an askable person?

Consider these ten practices for pumping up your askability:

1. Don’t force solutions. While the willingness to find answers is essential to your askability, remember that you can’t force it. Especially when the answer isn’t immediately clear. Doing so only works in reverse. And any time you try to instantly compartmentalize everything that enters into your mindspace, key ideas often get overlooked.

So, here’s the secret: Don’t be afraid to bookmark. If someone’s question is (currently) unanswerable, try one of the following responses:

o “Great question! And you know, I have absolutely NO idea. So, let me think about that for a while. Can I email my answer to you by the end of the day?”

o “I would need to know more information about (x) to make an informed decision. If I went and did some research, when would be a good time to get back to you with my answer?”

o “I’m not sure. And because I’d rather not answer at all than try to answer poorly, would it be cool we continued this conversation after I’ve had some time to think about your important question?”

These types of responses reveal your imperfect humanity. They demonstrate honesty and a willingness to learn. Most importantly, they honor, affirm and respect the question AND the questioner. This assures two things: (1) You will have enough time and resources to find the best answer, and (2) People will come back to you with questions in the future.

Are you daring to be dumm?
Are you fitting people’s unique needs or trying to prescribe them a packaged answer?
And do you possess enough self-control to NOT answer a question until you’re ready?

2. Be an imperfectionist. Your employees, students, members (or whomever you want to perceive you as being askable) need to experience your vulnerability. Your imperfect humanness. Your occasional wrongness. See, two of the leading reasons people DON’T ask questions is because (1) they don’t want to look stupid, and (2) they don’t want to appear in need of help.

By being an imperfectionist yourself, you provide people with a safe place to be vulnerable. And that’s what gives them permission to start asking the REAL questions. Otherwise, you come off as too perfect or too smart or “too” whatever. Then people think you’re either annoying or lying. And the problem with that is, if people are too busy silently questioning your character, there won’t be any time left for them to verbally question key issues.

How imperfect are you willing to be?
How are you leveraging your vulnerability to earn people’s trust?
And how many questions were never asked because people perceived you as being “too”?

3. Make questioners feel essential. People also choose not to ask questions because they’re afraid of feeling stupid or rejected. So, immediately compliment someone’s question with affirmations like, “Now THAT’S a great question!” or “Wow, I’ve never heard that question before…” or, “You know, Paula, that’s a really important question. Can you repeat it again – slowly – so I can write it down and give it the though it deserves?”

It’s beyond making people feel valued, important, special and loved. It’s about making them feel essential. Like you couldn’t do without them.

How do people experience you?
Whose essence are you honoring?
And how do people experience themselves when they’re with you?

4. Make passion palpable. Not about the answer, necessarily, but passionate about the idea of answering the person, himself. After all, answers are overrated. What’s more important is the search. What the answer points to. And what the process of discovery helps the other person become.

Askable people are excitable people. They love questions, they revel in curiosity and they value strategic thinking. Do that, BE that, and your positive emotions will instantly transfer to the asker.

Are you passionate about questions?
How are you transferring your love to others?
And discovery process are you leading people through?

5. Practice psychological safety. Another reason people shrink from asking questions is because they fear that their questions (and the answers TO those questions) will later be revealed publicly. That’s why comfort, safety and in many cases, confidentiality, is HUGE for being askable.

My suggestion is to build a Question Box. Not a Suggestion box, a Question Box. This keeps it informal, anonymous and organized.

How psychologically safe do people feel around you?
What fears about questioning are your people plagued by?
And how could you introduce anonymity into the conservation?

6. Be willing to share information. Which means you can’t maintain a monopoly on information. Knowledge hoarders are company hurters. Don’t come across as someone who has a sense of scarcity. Share LOTS of relevant answers without the fear that it would reduce your perceived value.

What did you write today?
Whom did you share it with?
And what secrets are you afraid to tell?

7. Advice is the enemy. People don’t want advice. They want feedback. They want answers. They want you to listen. Besides: Advice creates defensiveness. And it’s rarely followed because it’s usually delivered from an assumed position of superiority.

Make sure NOT to say, “Can I give you some advice?” or the dreaded, “Here’s a friendly piece of advice…” This immediately lowers your askability. Instead, ask your people, “How do you want to be listened to?” or “Do you want me to just listen to what you have to say or do you want my input?”

Are you a disrespectful dispenser of advice?
What type of information do you tend to answer with?
And how could you respond to people’s questions in a way that levels the playing field?

8. Become perceived as a problem solver. That means be a resource for people. For example, the aforementioned Arthur, my mentor, never fails to live this strategy. Whenever I approach him with a question, he always concludes his answer by whipping out his Blackberry and saying, “Here, I want you to write this down.”

And, Arthur will help you populate a list – right then and there – of the people you need to connect with. Or books you need to read. Or websites you need to visit. Problem solved!

What resources do you offer people?
When you don’t know the answer, where do you send your asker?
And wouldn’t be great if everyone who asked you questions could walk away with tangible resources to get more answers?

9. Help people process their answer. Finally, once you’ve given people your answer, try this: Pause. Sit quiet. Build space into the conversation so your words can profoundly penetrate people. Then, help them process by answering any follow-up questions, silly as they may sound.

Also, if you’re taking notes, consider emailing those ideas to your Asker later on that day. This might help them visualize the conversation so they can more effectively find solutions.

Are an idea midwife?
How are you helping the answering process?
And how often is it the OTHER person that discovers the solution?

10. Thank the asker. After a conversation in which people DID ask you questions, follow up via email, text, handwritten letter, etc., with an expression of gratitude. Thank people for courageously asking. Thank people for their specific questions.

And thank people for honoring you with their openness. This lays a foundation of affirmation AND subtlely reminds people that they can comfortable and confidently return to you with questions in the future.

Do you thank people for their questions?
Do you send people emails with the notes you took?
And what would happen to your askability if you combined it with affirmation and gratitude?

REMEMBER: If you want people to ask you for help, you’ve got to make yourself more askable.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How are you increasing your askability?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “37 Personal Leadership Questions Guaranteed to Shake Your Soul,” send an email to me, and you win the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

Never the same speech twice.
Always about approachability.

Watch The Nametag Guy in action here!

Are you wasting your audience’s time?

Here’s the most dangerous thought your audience members could EVER have:

“Why did I even bother coming to this?”

I learned this lesson after a recent presentation with the American Advertising Federation.

No, I didn’t bomb. Actually, one of my audience members shared a piece of feedback I’d never heard before, but one I’d never forget:

“Scott, what I appreciated most about your presentation was that you never wasted our time.”

Huh. That’s interesting. Never really thought of it that way.

But it makes perfect sense.

HERE’S THE REALITY CHECK: Time is currency. People are busy. And they don’t care about you.

I’m not saying they don’t like you. I’m sure you’re a very interesting, intelligent person.

But self-interest is a powerful force. And whether you’re a salesperson, speaker, writer, entertainer or leader, the last thing you want to do is deliver your message in a way that’s perceived as a waste of people’s time.

Whether you’re faced with one hundred, one thousand– or just one guy sitting across the table – consider these eight strategies for helping YOUR audience get the maximum mileage out of the presentation:

1. What would YOU do? Let’s start with an experiment. First, make a list of three experiences where you watched a movie, attended an event or sat in the audience of a performance and thought to yourself, “Wow. This is a TOTAL waste of my time.”

Next, write down the attributes that contributed to the meaninglessness of each presentation. Then, be honest. Ask yourself if you’re guilty of embodying any of those attributes while YOU present. If not, rock on! If yes, no worries. Consider using that list as an audit to help you prevent wasting people’s time in the future. How boring are you?

2. Put your material to the test. As you prepare your presentation, run each if your ideas, stories, points, statistics, quotations and illustration through the “Nobody Cares about You Test.” It’s pretty simple. Just ask yourself:

“Is this piece of material meaningful (appeals to self-interest) concrete (meat, not fluff) and immediate (actionable and applicable)?”

If not, throw it out. Because if the audience’s answer to what you say is, “Who cares?” you lose. And so do they. Are you speaking with Meaningful Concrete Immediacy?

3. Challenge people to get lost. Here’s a hard truth to swallow: People will forget 99% of the stuff you say during your presentation. But what they WILL remember is what they said to THEMSELVES while listening to what you said.

Your mission is to send people on mental journeys. To help them get productively lost. Now, I’m not suggesting you encourage them to start text messaging during your speech. Instead, remind your audience up front to take notes on what they hear themselves say. Are you helping your audience members listen to themselves?

4. Be scary good. Dave Grohl from Foo Fighters said it best: “When I’m playing a show, my number one goal is to make sure nobody in my audience looks at their watch.” Now, if you’ve ever seen those guys in concert before, you better believe they accomplish that goal during every gig. Because they’re just THAT good. They give their audience permission to be taken over by their performance.

Here are the two best strategies for constant audience captivation:

(a) Get off the stage and walk around the room. People will have no choice but to pay attention to you.
(b) Talk to individual people. As if your speech was a conversation. Look them straight in the eyes.

When you do this, everyone in the room will be engaged. Because when you focus the attention on one; you capture the attention of all. Are your audience members looking at their watches?

5. The slide show isn’t your girlfriend. Having a relationship with the slide and reading it is an insult to the audience’s intelligence. Do this and I guarantee they will both look at their watches AND ask themselves why the hell they bothered to come to your presentation in the first place. Total waste of time.

Your screen is a reference point – not a Magic Eye poster. If you find yourself looking at your slides for more than five seconds, you have too much information on your slides.

Remember: No more than ten words. You should be using mainly pictures anyway. Would your spouse be jealous of the affair you’re having with your PowerPoint?

6. Practice non-rambling spontaneity. Build space in your presentation for the unexpected. Comments. Arguments. Hecklers. They’re all good things. Just let them happen. Welcome useful audience digressions. Some of the best stuff is the stuff you never planned on saying.

At the same time, beware of going off on some eye-rolling tangent that instantly encourages people to start checking their email on their iPhones. Listen closely to what your audience isn’t telling you. Because they might be silently saying, “Dude, we GOT it. Move on to the next point.” Are you enabling the organic without beating dead horses?

7. Save self-gratification for the bathroom. There’s nothing wrong with getting a little personal in your presentation. Nor is it a mistake to share vulnerability from the stage to help build credibility. After all, intimacy via self-disclosure IS what builds trust and receptivity in your audience.

Just remember: There’s huge difference between personalizing and masturbating. One builds an approachable connection with the audience. The other is an ego-driven parade of self-indulgence that your audience can see coming from a mile down the street. No pun in intended.

Your challenge is to honesty gauge whether or not what you’re about to say is (actually) going to improve your audience’s condition, of it’s just going to help YOU maintain an erection. Whom are you (really) giving this speech for?

8. Entertaining, educating and inspiring aren’t enough. If you truly want to maximize every minute of your audience’s time, you need to DISTURB them. I don’t suggest gratuitously showing a bunch of sensationalist pictures to prove your point. Rather, consider embedding emotion into everything. EVERYTHING.

The word “disturb” actually comes from the same Latin derivative as “emotion.” So, your job is to elicit physiological reactions: Audible gasps. Extended laughs. Jaw drops. High fives. Head turns. Forehead slaps. Get the picture?

Your presentation must run the gamut on the emotional spectrum. Topic notwithstanding, your words need to make people mad, sad, glad and rad. Remember: Your audience’s bodies will never lie to you. Emotion is the final arbiter of the effectiveness of your presentation. How are you disturbing people?

In conclusion, I’d like to share an experience of attending a presentation that wasted MY time, along with what I learned from it.

In 2006 I attended a program called “How to Create Promo Videos that Make You More Bookable.” Sounds like a cool session, right?

Well, it would have been. But the speaker, Diane, spent the first TWENTY minutes (of a sixty-minute program) playing nothing but clips of her own clients. And even though her videos were cool to watch, that wasn’t the reason I came to her session. It was billed as “How to Create,” not, “Hey Look What I Created!”

For the record, I thought about saying something. But then I totally chickened out. Wimp.

The guy next to me, on the other hand, didn’t.

Right around minute twenty-one of Diane’s Self-Promotional All You Can Eat Buffet, he jolted up with fire in her eyes. And in the middle of her presentation, he flat out yelled, “Excuse me, Diane? Are actually going to tell us HOW to make a video, or just shamelessly self-promote for the remaining forty minutes?”

Dead silence. Even MY draw dropped to the floor – and I give speeches for a living.

The speaker was dumfounded. And I couldn’t wait to see how she was about to handle the situation.

Eventually, after fumbling over a few words, Diane apologized. She even laughed a little. Because she KNEW that she’d screwed up as the presenter. Naturally, she stopped the videotape, turned up the house lights and delved into the meat of her presentation about HOW to make the video.

HERE’S THE FINAL QUESTION: Do you think the Diane ever won the audience back?

Nope. It was too late. The speaker had already wasted twenty minutes of everyone’s time. And when you’re at an out of town conference that you paid seven hundred dollars to attend, that’s unforgivable.

HERE’S THE FINAL LESSON: As the speaker, you have a responsibility to make an improvement on the energy in the room. To enlarge the people sitting in it. And to assure that when people walk out of that room, they’re better off in some way.

Never waste your audience’s time.

If you do, they won’t invite you back next time.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Are your audience members wondering why they bothered to come?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “234 Things I’ve Learned about Writing, Delivering and Marketing Speeches,” send an email to me, and you win the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

Download a free copy of The Nametag Guy’s (unofficial) 9th book!

HELLO, my name is Scott’s…
“Live your name.”

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