Save your pouncing for my throat

Some people are like cats. 

They make you work for their affection. 

You don’t have the right to just walk up and interact with them, they allow you to interact with them. 

Because they don’t trust anything but their own eyes. And if you don’t wait for them to set the pace for contact, then they will consider your actions a threat display, run away, show disdain and spray you in the face with pee. 

That really happened to me once. You’d be surprised just how salty cat piss really is. 

But enough about my bachelor party. 

Point being, these cat people are exhausting. Each time you interact with them, you feel unworthy of their consideration. Like you’re not authentic enough to pass their little test. There’s too much suspicion and too little trust. 

Kind of like an old coworker from my first ad agency job. He was a cat person of the highest degree. The rest of the team wanted nothing more than to say to this guy, look, there is a time for skepticism and accountability, and we appreciate when you do that, but enough of this aggressively authentic, hyper critical, calling bullshit on everything that crosses your path, captain of the integrity police behavior. 

Not every goddamn moment needs to be criticized and picked apart within an inch of its life. 

Congratulations on your feline ferocity, but the rest of us are tired of you sticking a pin in every word we say and taking all the magic, mystery and potency out of our interaction. 

Look, sometimes an ounce of asshole does go a lot way. 

But it doesn’t have to be the default setting. 

Save the pouncing for the jungle. 


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Author. Speaker. Strategist. Songwriter. Filmmaker. Inventor. Gameshow Host. World Record Holder. I also wear a nametag 24-7. Even to bed.
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