Our teachers and parents never properly prepared us for the restless experience of doubting ourselves.
Apparently, we’re all big strong tough guys.
Because instead of learning how to navigate and accommodate the occasional crisis of faith that comes with the territory of being alive, we were trained to double down on our devotion, kick doubt’s ass right out of our minds and crack on until we succeeded or died trying. No retreat, no surrender, and never back down.
This attitude might be helpful, but it’s not exactly human. And it might be hopeful, but it’s not necessarily healing.
Cameron writes in her book about sparking creativity that we should not pick up our first doubt, as it starts a chain reaction of further doubts.
But let’s be real here. Sometimes we can find a perverse satisfaction in continuing to indulge in doubt. Sometimes, as we are burdened by ricocheting doubts, it can actually liberate us to think:
You know, in this world, where darkness intrudes all over, we can’t be paranoid enough. Maybe everybody is right and our vision is completely delusional and it’s time to reconsider our method.
This feeling of doubt, like all feelings, is a weather pattern. It has a beginning, a middle and an end. And so, we may as well feel it. Our emotional health isn’t helped by denial.
Particularly if doubt is an emotional color that we don’t often paint with, why not remain in the presence of it until the feeling has run its course? That act alone is heroic enough to make ourselves feel proud and cement our resolve in the long run.
Besides, leaning into our doubt will gives us insight and perspective on what the dark side of hope actually tastes like. Which isn’t a bad thing to know.
And so, if you find yourself on the blunt and depressing end of rejection, if you are entering into your existential dark night of doubt, perhaps kicking that feeling in the ass and living to tell the tale is not the best logline of your hero’s journey.
Don’t let anybody put unrealistic expectations on what you should and should not feel.
Each us contains the antidote to our own episodes of doubt. It’s called time.
LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Does your faith have a pulse?
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That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.
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